Surprise! It's a Secret
by LEArtemis
Summary: A new liaison has been assigned to the Special Victims Unit and Lieutenant Olivia Benson though reluctant to the idea, feels a strange pull towards the woman but what will happen when her past comes knocking down her door? Will Olivia be able to protect and save her when a figure of her past is revealed to be someone who will stay in her future?
1. Chapter 1

_**Chapter 1**_

"Marti," said the voice of a man. Not quite deep but not quite effeminate. I turned and to my surprise… "Dr. Huang!" I said as I retraced, filling the gap between the short man and I, "What a treat! How long are you in New York for?"

"Just for today, I go back to Oklahoma tomorrow morning."

"Oh," I said, running my fingers through my hair, "That sucks! What brings you by?" I ask as we pace together to my office in the FBI building.

"Actually," he paused, looking up at me, "I was looking for you. I have a proposition," he finished, stopping right in front of my glass doors.

"Oh?" I motioned for him to enter and sit. Circling around my desk, I too sat, "What is this about George?"

He took a seat across from me, smiling at his hands and looking up at me, "How would you like to work with the NYPD's Manhattan SVU?"

My mouth went dry. Did he just ask what I think he did? "Your old job?" He nodded, "George!" I puffed, running my fingers through my face, "They still hope that you return. What would it look like if I showed up?" The good doctor opened his mouth to speak but I interjected before he could begin, "I barely just finished my residency… They'll treat me like shit… I cannot even compete with someone like you… I mean…"

"Doctor! Doctor!" George yelled before I could continue, "Breathe," he chuckled, "I already cleared it with the big people on the upstairs. This will be good for you, plus, you have something that I lack."

"And what is that?" I asked breathily.

"You have a degree in Child Psychology. They work most with children and you'd be a great asset to their team. Of course, you must understand, you'll be tempted to do things their way at times but you must remember your oath."

I nodded and huffed, "George," I said, lacing my fingers together, "Why me? I am sure there are other Forensic Psychologists working for the FBI with far more experience than me. I just started at the Bureau a year ago for Christ's sake."

Dr. Huang chuckled, shaking his head, "That might be true Mariel but, you are the one that I chose when they asked whom would I recommend."

I suddenly sat up straighter, "You what?"

He smiled, the kind of smile that would make his eyes disappear, "It was a mere suggestion, they were the ones that made the necessary moves."

"Oh George," I smiled; not being able to remain upset at the man who was not only my mentor but also, a great friend. I sighed, "What do I have to do and when do I start?"

George sighed, a weight being lifted from his shoulders.

Thank God for the weekend. After I had been nearly ambushed… by one man on the previous day, I felt the need to need to relax. It was too much to process too quickly. Thinking back to the conversation between whom would be my predecessor come Monday and myself, I genuinely felt the push that George had given me. He believed in me, even at my young age, he believed in me through and through. I had graduated at sixteen from high school and went on to NYU on a private Volleyball scholarship, to pursue a Children's Psychology degree and then a Master's in Forensic Psychology. By the time I was twenty-three, I had both of my degrees, and starting my PhD. I was thirty, fresh out of my residency and the FBI had agreed on taking me on. I had proven myself to them while shadowing Dr. Huang and several other doctors on duty. My goal was to return to New York island and return I had.

As I sat in my dimly lit apartment I thought about the stuff that I, quote on quote, missed throughout my time in college. Granted, I felt like I had missed nothing. I had a "reputation" in college of being a rolling stone but, if the men and women in my life at that time did not understand my need for just a good fuck and that's that then, it was on them. It's not like I hid my true motives from them, no; I was always honest. And, tonight was one of those nights. I needed just a good fuck to help me ease into Monday but who to call? I sat with my cellphone propped on my bare stomach, my thumb moving swiftly across my screen. My gaze glazed over the name on the screen, 'Jameson' and an automatic reaction coursed through my body. My arousal pooled between my legs and my heart skipped a beat. Curling my legs underneath my body, I tapped on the contact name and began typing a message.

 _776453_

A minute went by before his reply came through.

 _ **Already, my pet?**_

 _Yes. You should see and feel how wet I am currently._

 _ **Well… You know where I reside.**_

 _See you in fifteen?_

 _ **You know the rules. Do not make me wait.**_

I leaped off the couch and bolted to my room, searching in the closet for an outfit. Founding what I needed I quickly changed and left my apartment. The cool breeze of the spring was turning into a slight heated embrace letting us know that summer fast approached. As the wind blew and hit me a second time, I realized what I was about to do. Did I really want to do this? Did I really want to risk my new co-workers scrutinize my every bruise, bump, and mark? Did I care? No. I walked briskly with conviction on the streets of Brooklyn; the night alive and barely beginning on the beautiful Saturday night where lights, laughter, and noise where the main source life. It took me exactly fifteen minutes to arrive to Jameson's apartment. Entering the elevator, I punch the correct number that would take me to the correct floor. As it rose, my insides pull and tug harshly. My arousal making it known at the juncture of my legs; I fidget and shift between my feet, rubbing my thighs together as much as I can to relieve the pressure my thoughts have caused. The elevator clanged and came to an abrupt stop, opening to his floor and I walked to his door and knocked. I have my head hanged on my shoulders, my hands at my sides, and my breathing evenly.

"Hello, pet," said the voice in a growl. His tone dripping in sex, "come, stand here."

I walked into the apartment, standing where he had pointed, never once elevating my head or gaze. I shed the trench coat, revealing white cotton underwear and a white camisole, "Very good, very good," he mused pacing around me. "Shoes off," he said, pointing at the ground, "Now."

I elevated my leg behind me, unstrapping my heel and repeating the motion with the other leg, "Assume braclettes," he ordered, my body hitting me with another wave of arousal.

I kneeled, spreading my legs as far as my body allowed, sitting back on my heels, creating a stretch on my thighs that caused slight discomfort. My hands curled at my back, my chin resting on my chest causing my hair to slide forward over my shoulders, covering the side of my face, "Look at me, pet," I did as I was bid, slowly raising my head.

Jameson groaned, "Those eyes… those fucking grey eyes," he trailed off, "I'm going to have fun with you tonight."

I smiled, biting my lip and then the sting came quick on my face. I felt the urge to cup my cheek but his hand beat me to it, "Eagerness will get you punished, you know this."

"Yes, Sir," I mumbled my reply, my lip quivering slightly.

"Good girl," he replied, striking me across the opposite cheek.

My night was about to get far more interesting and it was barely just beginning.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2**_

Monday morning came too quickly. As my alarm went off, I twisted and groaned at the soreness and tightness of my body, my eyes adjusting to the darkness and my ears to the constant ringing of my alarm clock. I stretched and reached for the lamp at my bedside, automatically catching the ligature marking on my wrist. I frowned faintly at the memory of how exactly I ended up with the mark. I hopped out of bed and went to the bathroom, shedding every piece of item, and stepping inside the tub. From my vantage point, I could see every rope burn, every bruise, every bite mark, and every ligature mark that served as evidence to my weekend romping. I frowned at the thought of them as I lathered my body with suds. Some hurt, some burned, others were just there. _If anyone were to see these, they'd flip!_ These didn't look like your regular 'rough sex' markings, no; these looked as if I was sexually assaulted. Though, it all started as that—rough sex—but it evolved into something else. I was gagged and bound and somewhere down our scene, Jameson lost control. He went too far and everything hurt. My night of fun turned and ended into a night of terror. It'd be a scary way to present myself to my new place of work. I groaned at the thought of having to cover up excessively in the beginning stages of summer. _How am I going to pull this off?_ I really didn't know.

It's not like I was at the Bureau's building and could condemn the air conditioning system for my clothing options. I was set out to be walking, possibly sometimes at scene so what could I use as my excuse for my clothing options? It was obvious that I visited Jameson on the regular but winter was easier on me since I had a reason to be wearing my choice of apparel but as soon as the seasons changed, I was placed on a set back to which, in all honesty, was not my favorite thing to do and keep up with. Pacing back to my room, clad with the fuzzy towel; I fold my body at the waist, dropping my head so that my hair could fall forward, me being able to dry my long curtain of hair, flipping it back to feel it cascade down my back. I shake my head, tousling my hair; I could already feel the ends curling upwards. I dress rapidly, putting on high waist palazzo pants and a white camisole tucking inside it my pants. I search my closet for my long sleeved cashmere crop top and pull it on. It was a heavy cashmere top, the cowl neck resting just a few inches away from my body but still hiding every visible bite mark that my chest bared. I return to the bathroom, grabbing the blow dryer and continue to dry my hair, attempting a sleek look. I parted my hair above my left brow, swiping my hand over my hair and tucking it behind my ear. Applying my make up never took me more than ten minutes, I was not one to over do it. I grabbed my purse and my shoes, leaning against my doorframe and putting them on.

As I made my way to nearest subway station I think about all that is about to transpire, everything that is about to change and happen. _Dammit Georgie!_ I scold myself mentally, for allowing the prestigious Dr. George Huang convinced me to take on such a task after knowing that I was not nearly remotely prepared to do so. But, he believed in me. The Bureau believed in me. I could not behave like a scared teenager and run away from my problems or try and seek the easy way out. This was not the way I was taught, this is not what I went to school for… My mind, not being inside the vessel it was carrying almost missed the stop that was nearest to the precinct. Walking up and out the subway station I could feel the warmth the morning gave. This was not bound to be a great day if I had to endure this silent heat for long. I walked to the precinct, looking up at the infrastructure in front of me. I smiled and sighed, shaking my head and climbing up the stairs.

"Special Victims?" I asked the desk clerk.

"Seventh floor. Good luck sweetheart," he said with an apologetic smile.

I returned the smile and nodded, turning to reach the elevator.

The elevator doors opened on the floor requested, stepping out I could hear chatter; nothing too loud or sounding similar to commotion, just an exchange of words. I could immediately recognize three voices, two females and a male. I round the corner, pushing through an opened glass door.

"But, why now?" the blonde said.

"Well, ten and a half years is enough to practice and convince a judge and a jury," answered the tall slender male.

"Regardless of, he is being exonerated through DNA. We need something that either suggests a new perp or something that puts him in that apartment," said a voice I couldn't exactly pinpoint to a body.

"Lieutenant," spoke the blonde once more, "she identified him in the photo array, she identified him at the live line up," she raised her hands in the air, shrugging her shoulders, "I don't understand why this has no validity. I mean, doesn't her testimony carry any weight?"

"Well," began the African-American man, "I was at court, they had a doctor there for his defense. She said it was…"

"Post-identification effect," I said, though I thought I was being silent but not until I noticed three pairs of eyes at me.

"Can we help you?" said again the mysterious voice.

"Uh, actually," I said flipping my hair over my shoulder, "I am looking for a Lieutenant Benson?"

I heard the subtle click of a pair heeled boots, "Yes? That is me," the woman who appeared before sure was I sight. Tall, voluptuous, olive skin; she was a beautiful woman, "can I help you with anything?"

I could hear what the brunette was saying but I could not process the act of formulating a response, "Sweetheart? Are you ok?"

Again, I wanted to speak but my mind was blank. It wasn't until a phone rang in the distance that my mind and my body reconnected, "Yes, yes," I said swiftly, "I apologize for that. I believe the FBI notified you of my presence this morning?" I said, crossing my arms at my chest, wincing at the pain from my ribs.

She pushed her hands in her pockets, shrugging her shoulders, and glancing at her squad, "Uh, the FBI notified me of a doc—"

I nodded and smiled sheepishly, "Doctor Mariel Marti," I said, extending my arm to the Lieutenant, "Forensic Psychologist, FBI"

She hesitated, "Lieutenant Olivia Benson," she shook my hand, "This is Detective Amanda Rollins," the blonde smiled and nodded, "Detective Dominic Carisi," the lean man waved, "and Sergeant Fin Tutuola," the remaining man nodded my way.

"Welcome to Special Victims," Carisi approached me, "you can call me Sonny."

I smiled and nodded, "Thank you," I sighed, "Can I make myself useful in any way?"

"Uh," the Lieutenant spoke, "Fin, finish up here. Doctor," she motioned to her office, walking past me.

I rolled my eyes and smiled at the group. Amanda caught my actions and smiled back at me. I walked steadily behind the Lieutenant, watching the sway of her hips, and the wind in her hair. Olivia Benson was a sight from behind. My thoughts betrayed me and I came to when I crashed into the body in front of me, "Fuck," I mumbled, "I am so sorry, Lieutenant."

She scoffed and shook her head, opening the door to her office, "Please, sit."

"I prefer to stand, thank you Lieutenant."

She sat on her chair, rubbing her chin, "Bureau sent you?"

I nodded.

"I thought they were considering giving us back Huang, what happened?"

I shrugged, circling in the office, placing my purse on the couch in Olivia's office, "Bureau wants to keep Dr. Huang in Oklahoma longer. Apparently his work there takes precedence."

Olivia sighed and ran her fingers through her hair, "Why you? Wasn't there anybody else?"

I widened my eyes, "You weren't briefed Lieutenant?"

She cocked her head, looking up at me.

"I'll take that as a no. I was recommended to this unit. Apparently, I'd be a great asset to your team," I finished, placing my hands at the back of the chair, propping myself up.

"An asset? To my team?"

I nodded and bit my lip.

"According to who? The FBI?"

"No, Dr. Huang."

She smiled and licked her lips, as she opened her mouth to speak, I beat her to it, "Listen Lieutenant, I understand you're apprehensive. I get it, a new face belonging to a clumsy kid when you could have someone else with more experience, when you could have your old colleague; someone that you were used to," I paused and tucked my hair behind my ear, "I'm here. You don't want me here; I understand that but please, give me a chance. I obviously did something right if I'm here."

The brunette eyed me carefully and smiled. She stood and circled her desk, walking to the door and opening it, "Well, come on, we have a case to finish."

I smiled and nodded, strutting out of the office. We arrived back at the board where the detectives were going over the provided evidence. I approached the board, standing next to the blonde and I sighed, "What do we have?"

She looked at me and smiled, "Rape case from ten years ago. Perp was apprehended and charged. Ten years later, he is let loose after DNA clearance but Natalie—our vic—identified him both on photo array and lineup. You said it was…"

"Post-identification effect," I spoke loudly, capturing the attention of the rest of the squad, "it refers to the way to the way witness self-reports are distorted by feedback to the witnesses that suggests that their identifications were accurate or mistaken," I paused and looked at the table, scanning rapidly the folders spread against it.

"What are you looking for Doctor?"

"Statements."

I scanned the table, careful not to touch anything. Hands started opening and closing folders, and then another set joined, and another set.

"Got it," shouted Carisi.

"Good, did she say anything after the photo array or live lineup?"

He scanned the file, tapping at a line and showing the Sergeant besides him, "It says here that she asked how had she done and the officer responded with 'you did great Ms. Leddy'."

Carisi continued, "But, we failed to ask her if she was completely sure and during the live lineup she picked him once more and when she was asked once more she replied by saying that our perp 'looked most like him' and the police remarked that 'they thought that might be the guy' and 'it's the same person you picked from the photos'."

"Who the hell conducted this lineup?" Olivia growled.

"Two unis that now have their shield," Amanda said from the other side of the table.

I glanced at the blonde and bit my lip, my head moving to look up at the Lieutenant at the other side of the room. She smiled and nodded my way, tapping a folder against her hands. I knew then that the head of the department had approved of me and I couldn't be more ecstatic.

"Fin, Carisi—track down our "star" detectives and have their C.O. contact me," with that the Lieutenant left, powerful walk and all that shook me to my core.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3**_

The day progressed surprisingly uneventful. The Lieutenant had been in her office, Rollins was at her desk—my guess was working on a DD5, and Fin and Carisi were out on the field on a call. By the time Fin and Carisi returned, the commotion started. Olivia rushed out of her office, Amanda stood by her desk as Fin brought a belligerent child. The little girl was thrashing, kicking, and flailing her arms at the detective and Sergeant that attempted to bring her in into what should be a safe place.

"Hey Doc," Carisi shouted, "We need your help here."

I stood from the chair I was in and marched quickly to stand in front of the child, "Hey sweet pea," I called at the girl who stopped her erratic movements at the sound of my voice. I kneeled in front of the girl and looked up at Fin and Carisi and nodded at them, they released the arms of the child and she walked towards me, "What's your name?" I searched her, eyeing her movements, and weary behavior.

Olivia looked at me and knelt besides me, "Will you tell us your name sweetheart?"

The girl looked at Olivia, her eyes widening and tearing. Olivia stood quickly, removing herself from upsetting the child any longer, "It's ok sweet pea, it's ok," I coaxed the child, "My name is Mariel and this is my friend Olivia, we're not going to hurt you sweetheart." I raised my hands to her, palms facing upward, "Now, will you tell us your name?"

The girl looked between Olivia and I, establishing a level of trust, "Cass," she whispered.

I looked up at Olivia and smiled, "And, how old are you Cass?" I returned my gaze to the child in front of me.

"Six."

I looked up at Olivia once more, who at this time was whispering to Fin. She looked at me, attempting to communicate something with her eyes. I nodded and stood, "Hey Cass, would you like to go somewhere where you can sit?" I extended my hand so that she could grab it. She hesitated, looking again between Olivia and I. She stepped forward grabbing my hand and squeezing it tight.

I followed Olivia to the juvenile interview room. Once inside, I directed Cass to sit at the table and informed her that she was free to grab and use whatever she wanted to whilst Olivia and I had a conversation outside. She immediately got nervous; I'd seen this behavior before, separation anxiety at its developing stages. I smiled at her, unclasping my watch from my wrist and handing it to her, "Would you hold this for me? I promise I'll be back for it," she looked at me, grabbing the silver watch from my fingers and walking towards of shelf full of books. I turned to leave, nodding at Olivia that was standing at the door. She exits behind me, shutting the door and walking behind me to the open space of the bullpen. There, Fin, Amanda, and Carisi were gathered discussing the facts of the child in our holding room.

"What the hell happened out there Fin? You couldn't call?" Olivia was fuming.

"Sorry about that Liv," he begun explaining, "An old buddy of mine from Narcotics found the girl chained to a bed during a raid at a scene. There were a few casualties but from the looks of it, we think she was drugged Liv."

"After they cut the chain, I carried her to the bus downstairs. I guess the change in scenery woke her up and she just became a different person," Carisi continued, "She was screaming bloody murder about not wanting to go to the hospital. Fin and I were able to calm her down and told her if she felt safer riding with us to the hospital. We were almost there when she started yelling again, we were just a block from here so the Serge suggested that the Doc and you could talk to her."

"And if anything Liv," Fin interjected, "we have our own house doctor right here," he shot me warm smile.

"Next time," Olivia begun, "keep me in the loop. You know I like to stay on top of the cases. Now, what do we know?"

"Nothing," Fin began, "This is the first time we've heard her name since she woke up."

"The Narcotics raid?" Olivia asked.

"Crystal meth."

"That explains her behavior: irritability, nervousness, paranoid aggressive behavior… She could've inhaled the fumes," I stated quickly.

"She has burns Lieutenant," Amanda spoke, "I saw them when Fin and Sonny were hauling her in. They're on her stomach."

"Jesus," Olivia paced around, rubbing her eyebrow.

"What do you want us to do, Lieu?" Carisi asked.

"I can go in there with Dr. Marti," Amanda suggested, "She already made a connection with the Doctor, we can both take a chance at her," Amanda waved her hand at me.

I nodded in approval, "It's your call Lieutenant."

Olivia looked between Amanda and I, her brow pulled in thought, "No, I'll go in. I'm sorry Dr. Marti but I don't think you have enough experience with children," Olivia said walking past me.

"With all due respect Lieutenant," Olivia stopped in her tracks, "My degree is in child psychology. I think I have more than enough experience when it comes to children."

Olivia eyed me quizzically and before she could say something I again spoke, "I'll step back if I'm not getting anywhere. I'm not trying to step on your toes here Lieutenant," I walked forward, stopping right in front of Olivia, inches away from her face, "it is still your call Olivia. I'm asking for a chance here."

The pull that radiated through our bodies was intensifying. My mouth felt dry and body tingled. Looking at those burning amber eyes, I could tell that she felt the same tension I was feeling. She searched my face, looking straight at my eyes, "Fine," she whispered, "Rollins," she raised her voice, "let her lead but step in if you don't feel comfortable."

Amanda nodded and I mouthed the words thank you to the Lieutenant. I followed Amanda to the holding room, entering the girl flinched and hid in the corner at the sight of the small, blonde detective.

"Hey Cass, it's ok," I said walking to approach the child, "remember me? I came back for my watch."

The little redheaded girl returned to the bookshelf, searching behind some of the books, and retrieving my watch, "Safe."

"That's right sweet girl, you kept it safe for me," I said as pulled one of the bigger chairs in the room for me to sit, "So Cass," I said, tucking my hair behind my ear, "this is my friend Amanda, do you mind if she sits here next to me?"

Cass eyed the blonde detective and looked back at me. She nodded and Amanda pulled a chair, sitting next to me.

I notice the child had been coloring. If there was a chance of identifying this child, I needed to get prints. "Cass?" I asked the redheaded girl, catching her attention, "Can you come here for a second sweet pea?"

The child eyed me warily. She thought about her movements and approach me slowly, "Can I pick you up and sit you on my lap?" Cass nodded in slight contentment.

She picks up her arms for me to pick her up and I gently sit her down across my lap. I sat her so that Amanda can have a view of the child's face, "So Cass, I'm going to ask you a few questions, is that ok?" She nodded, "Good, ok. So, do you know what you were doing in that house?"

"H—Home," she said shakily.

"Do you know where your mama is?"

She looked at Amanda and then looked at me, "What's wrong sweet girl? Amanda is my friend, she's not going to hurt you."

"Mama died," she stated, looking at her hands.

I looked up at the mirror at the end of the room, knowing the Lieutenant was most probably listening, "Do you know how mama died?"

"She went to sleep."

I looked at Rollins and shook my head, "Did mama live in the house?"

She nodded.

"Do you know mama's name?"

"Mama," she answered, her brow pulled in slight confusion.

"What about your dad? Do you have a dad?" I instantly regretted the questions that left my mouth. I could feel her little body tense and her head jerking to the side to lock eyes with mine. My hand rested easily on her back, feeling for her heartbeats. Her heart suddenly became erratic, "You're ok Cass, it's ok. You don't have to answer. I won't get mad."

She nodded, "Can you tell me why you had a chain on your leg?" I said, pointing at the vivid bruising the child sported on her left ankle.

"So that I no run."

"Where were you running to?"

"Outside. Away."

I sighed, figuring what may had been going on, "Cass," she looked up at me, "do you know your last name?"

The child pulled her brow in once again, not quite understanding what I meant. I smiled and rubbed her leg with my free hand, "Amanda's last name is…"

I looked at the detective, coaxing her to participate, "Rollins," she stated and smiled.

"And mine is Marti," I said nodding towards the detective and turning to Cass, "See? Easy, right?"

She shook her head and shrugged.

I nodded, "Alright sweet girl. How about, I get you something to eat and you find us paper," I began removing my watch to hand it to the girl, "When I come back, you and I are going to paint a picture… with our feet."

Her little brown eyes grew and glimmered. A faint smile painting her lips, it was the most life I had seen in this child since she stepped inside the precinct.

I handed her my watch and dismounted her from my lap. She ran to the bookshelf to hide the watch once more. I stood and turned to the door, Rollins right behind me.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4**_

Walking out of the holding room, Amanda stormed passed me, making way into the Lieutenant's office. I followed suit, closing the door behind me as I entered. Olivia was standing in front of the window that showed the little girl, that distraught little girl. Rollins paced up and down the office, shaking her head, and rubbing her brow. I approached the distraught blonde, stopping her midstride.

"Detective?" I asked.

Amanda stopped in her tracks, her blue eyes dancing frantically over my face, "Talk to me, please?" I plead, reaching my hand to her arm.

She looked past me to her commanding officer, "I've seen this before."

I glanced behind me to Olivia, whom now had an interested look on her face, "Where?" She asked.

"When I was in Atlanta we caught a case where a little boy had been left and abandoned in a crack house. We never found the guy or guys operating it but the boy sported the exact same behavior as that little girl," Amanda mused.

"Do you know if the boy was molested?" I asked, searching her face for a possible answer.

She nodded.

I nodded too in understanding, "Lieutenant, she's projecting classic signs of child abuse: clingy, secretive, fear of particular places or people, running away…"

Olivia nodded and sighed, "You're going to catch this guy Lieutenant, I know you will."

After a three long hours of working with Cass, I finally got her comfortable enough to get her to the hospital to get checked and tested and comfortable enough for her to leave with the personnel of Child Services. She was adamant and belligerent, clinging to Amanda, Olivia, or I. This little girl had been through so much, in such a short span of her life that it could make the coldest iceberg melt. I bargained with her, letting her keep my watch, promising her that I would visit her as soon as I could. It was way past eight p. m. and my head felt like it was swimming. The central air unit was blowing but my body felt hot, tingly, and clammy. I'm resting against one of the desks in the bullpen, attempting to listen and pay attention to the debrief that Olivia was providing for the squad about Cass' case. I bring my hand to my clammy and sweaty forehead and shake my head, attempting to grasp at something to pull me out of this sinking ship.

I breathe in hard, puffing out air through my mouth. I could feel my hair sticking to my face and neck; my ears rang with a high-pitched beep. I ran my fingers through my hair, bunching a clump of hair at the crown of my head. Taking breathy and shaky sighs I attempt to stand, to possibly remove myself and make it to the restroom. Amanda and Carisi both spoke to me, walking towards me. I could see their lips moving but I could not make out what they were saying. I could feel my heart rate rising, beating fast against my chest. I suddenly felt cold, like a rush of air running through my face. I looked towards the gush of air came and I saw her face. Those bright, bold, dripping in chocolate spheres were burning a hole through my chest. I could feel myself smile but my body was seconds away from shutting down.

"Olivia," I whispered before everything went dark.

***  
(Olivia's POV)

" _Olivia,"_

It was the last thing she said when she collapsed limply into my arms. The light dimming from those bright grey eyes. Her caramel skin flushed, clammy, and sweaty. I lay her down on the floor, slowly kneeling beside her, pushing her long mane out of her face. It was nearing eighty degrees outside, throughout the entire day and she was wearing a thick, cowl neck cashmere sweater.

"Rollins," I shout, "help me get this sweater off of her, she has an undershirt on," I said, pointing at her midsection.

Rollins complied and helped me pulled the sweater off. Once off, I turn to face the woman lay across the floor. A bruised covered chest, neck, and arms were on full display, "Liv," Amanda mumbled.

"I know, I know," I said, placing the sweater atop her, attempting to cover the semi-exposed woman in front of us.

"Liv," Fin spoke, "I called a bus; they are on their way."

I nodded and rubbed her cheek with my thumb, thinking to myself why the sudden pull that came from this woman. Granted she was younger than I but ever since I lain eyes on the younger woman, I was finding it hard to deny her requests. She had such passion, such conviction for what was being done within this unit. She had proven herself more than useful in only one day's of work. A sudden commotion pulls me back, EMT personnel was surrounding the body.

"Placing oxygen now."

"She's in brady!"

"I need a gurney in here!"

"Start the epi, now!"

I stood, walking to the door, following the paramedics, "I'm riding with her," I shouted to the squad, "Rollins, meet me there."

I saw Amanda nod and I left the squad room.

We had been at the hospital two hours already. I still had no information on the doctor. Rollins had met me at the hospital and there she sat, nursing a cup of coffee between her hands. I in the other hand; paced in front of her, almost burning a hole on the floor. I huffed and puffed and ran my fingers through my hair, _What's taking so long?_ Amanda bounces her leg incessantly, my nervousness rubbing off on her as well. It feels like another two hours has gone by before one of the doctors exited, "Anyone for Dr. Mariel Marti?" My body jerks and I pace forward, making my way towards the doctor.

"Me," I say, providing my shield for his view, "Lieutenant Olivia Benson, Manhattan's SVU."

"It's a pleasure Lieutenant, unfortunately I cannot give you information on her plan of care. Do you know if she has any family?"

I groaned, "Please Doctor, give me anything. I'll make sure to personally notify any family," I pleaded with the man.

"I'm sorry Lieutenant," he shook his head, "I can't. Find her family," he said, giving me a thin lipped smile.

I sighed, balling my fingers into a fist, attempting to regain composure but nothing seemed to be working. I feel small hands on my arm and as I turn, I capture blue eyes staring up at me, "Liv, let's call the boys, maybe they can find something in her file."

I nodded as Amanda kept me grounded in this slight moment of confusion, "Yes, yes. Call Fin and Carisi, I'll call Huang—see if he has anything."

Amanda nodded and turned, fishing her phone out of her pocket. I walk outside for some fresh air; I needed to get ahead of this, now. Otherwise, God knows what was happening to Mariel and nobody wanted to tell me anything. I lean against the brick wall outside of the ER entrance, playing with my phone in my hands, attempting to shake the nervousness out of my hands. I sigh and search my phone for Dr. Huang's number, finding it I press and bring it up to my ear. Listening to the rings, a wave of dread courses through me before I hear the familiar voice of the doctor, "Olivia, what can I do for you?"

"George," I sigh, "I need your help!"

I hear George chuckle, "I hope you're not asking for professional help, Liv. You have Mariel now."

I smile at his suggestion, "No, actually, this **is** about Mariel," I say, "Please George."

"What is wrong with Mariel, Olivia? Is she alright?"

"I don't know, that's why I'm calling you," I say, closing my eyes, "Does she have any family in New York?"

"Olivia, is she at the hospital?"

"George, please, I need to know," I urge the doctor on the other end of the line.

"No, both of her parents are dead and the rest of her family is estranged due to her sexuality. Olivia, where is she?"

"We're at Bellevue," I say, now going into cop mode, "Do you know if she has a girlfriend?"

"No," he says, sighing, "and even if she did, she wouldn't share that with me or any one else for that matter."

"George," I say breathily, "someone assaulted her," my voice faltered, "She was severely beaten."

The other side of the line is silent for a moment before he answers, "I really don't know anything Olivia. I'll call her boss back at the Bureau and give him your number with any information. Call your ADA," he said before bidding goodbye and hanging up.

I nod and give him thanks, hanging up and finding the number of ADA Barba. After two rings, Barba picks up, "Barba," he answers.

"Raf, is Liv."

"What's up?"

"I need your help," I sigh.

"With what?"

"We got assigned someone new," I breathe out, "She collapsed in the bullpen a few hours ago. From what I could see, she had multiple bruises, contusions, bite marks, and ligature marks on her arms and chest. No one will tell me anything at the hospital. She has no next of kin."

"Olivia," he breathes out, "do you suspect abuse? Because that is the only way you can get in there without my help. Otherwise, what are you requesting? For me to subpoena the hospital?"

"Raf, I need to do something."

"Olivia," he refuted but sighed, "do you know if she's romantically involved?"

"No, no relationships that are known of."

Barba groaned and begun to speak before I interrupted him, "Look Barba, I need something. I need to know if she's well. Isn't there something you can do? Please!"

We were both silent, "I'll put in for an Admin Subpoena. Olivia, what is her name?"

I sighed and rested my head against the brick wall, "Dr. Mariel Marti, FBI."

"FBI! Olivia! Jesus Christ! Why are we even on the phone?"

"Barba, this doesn't change anything, does it?"

"Get me her boss, now."

The line went dead.

I close my eyes and clasp my hands together. I push myself off the wall and as I'm making my way inside my phone vibrates in my hands, "Benson," I answer.

"Lieutenant," came a deep, voice with a light Southern drawl to his voice, "this is Deputy Chief of Staff, Donald Fitzgerald of the FBI. I believe you spoke with Dr. Huang?"

"Deputy Chief, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. Did Dr. Huang brief you at all?"

"No, he did not. What is going on?"

"Dr. Marti is at the hospital, she has no next of kin and they won't let me in to see her."

"What happened?" he growled.

"I don't know. We were finishing up with a child victim and she just collapsed to the floor."

He cleared his throat, "What do you need, Lieutenant?"

"Permission, Sir. I have the ADA working on an Administrative Subpoena."

"All right, I will call the DA's office. Whom am I asking for?"

"ADA Rafael Barba."

"You will be the only one to get clearance with this Lieutenant, nobody else."

"Understood chief, thank you!"

The line went dead.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter 5**_

(Olivia's POV)

The morning was fast approaching before Fin delivered the administrative subpoena. I served the doctor with it and asked what had transpired. Before he answered he eyed the document, noticing where it stated that I was the sole person that was to know about Mariel's medical condition and records.

"Lieutenant," the doctor began, "Dr. Marti suffered multiple blows to her body. From what we could tell, she also sported bite marks, cuts, and ligature markings. The reason for the blood pressure plummeting," he sighed, "she was bleeding internally. Slowly, but fatal nonetheless; from the looks of it, Lieutenant, she suffered these injuries late Saturday night, early Sunday morning."

"My God," I brought my hand to my brow, "how is she now?"

"She's stable," he said breathily, "but, she's in and out of consciousness; you can go in and see her."

I nodded and walked towards the end of the hall to reach the elevator. They had moved her to the Cardiovascular ICU. With the debacle of her blood pressure plummeting like it did, especially for her age and physical condition, they didn't want to risk her getting any worse, or have any other risks. As I walked pass the pavilions with multiple beds, I arrived at a private room with a yellow star at the sliding see-through door. I slide it down and enter the room, slowly approaching the bed where the younger woman lay. Her hospital gown slid off her shoulder, revealing a deep bruising mark to her body. I sigh and put conviction on my walk, approaching quickly to her side. I reach and correct the gown on her shoulder, my fingers gently grazing her soft caramel skin. She shifts and I recoil my hand to my chest, "Olivia," she whispers.

"I'm here," I say, pushing the hair out of her face, "I'm here."

She hums in approval of my touch, her head moving towards my arm and where I was standing, her eyes opening and fluttering slowly. The deep of her grey eyes piercing through my chest, "Olivia," she said in a breathy sigh, closing her eyes briefly, "What happened?"

"You collapsed at the precinct," her eyes grew in fear, the monitor near her bedside showing an elevated heart rate, "Hey, hey," I coaxed, "relax, relax. You're ok now."

She breathed out and looked away, "You saw my body, didn't you?"

I retreated my hand from her head, "Yes, I did," I said softly, "Mariel," I begun, "I can help you with this."

"No," she snapped her head back, "I'm fine, Lieutenant, please," her eyes watering.

"Mariel," I stare at her cupping her cheek with my hand, "talk to me, I can't help you if you don't talk."

"Olivia, please," she said, breathing in, "believe me, it is nothing."

"This isn't nothing," I say, hearing the frustration in my tone, "this woman, beat you and caused internal bleeding. So much so, that it took **a day** for you to collapse. If you hadn't collapsed in the bullpen, you could've died!" I say, standing and running my fingers through my hair, "Jesus, Mariel."

I could hear soft sobs and I turn to face her. Her brow was pulled in and her cheeks were moist, tears running down her face, "Please Mariel, who did this you?"

She closed her eyes, as more tears fell down her face, "It wasn't a woman."

"What?" I was stunned, "Huang shared your sexual orientation, I don't understand."

"I'm bisexual, Olivia," she said opening her eyes, her breath evening as she took several breaths to steady herself, "that's why I'm estranged from my family. I had to reveal that in order to be left alone for the medical form," she searched my face, "This was a man."

"Do you know him?"

She nodded, "I'm not pressing charges Olivia. I—"

She trailed off, "I can't force you but please, talk to me about it, let me help."

She hesitated and didn't look me in the eyes. She was ashamed of something but, of what? "I was being a submissive."

"BDSM?"

She nodded.

I scoffed, "What happened?"

"He lost control," she said softly, "He never had done that before. I don't know what happened."

I observed her keenly, careful not to push her further out of my grasp, "This wasn't the first time you've, uh, _played_ with him?"

She shook her head, "With what did he hit you?"

Her lip quivered, "He **punched** me."

"God," I whispered, my hands over my face, stopping at my mouth.

A stray tear escaped her eyes and before it hit her chin, I was able to wipe it away with my thumb. She sighed hard, shaking her head as she bit her lip, "It started out fine," she continued, "but then, it was like his tension… he wasn't him… I—I… I don't know."

I felt for her. My heart felt for her. She was attempting to articulate everything that had happened to her but she couldn't. She couldn't explain the events. She couldn't explain the reasoning and my heart went out to her. What was happening to me? What was happening to my judgment? Where was the fierce, ferocious cop that everyone seemed to believe that I was when it came to handling her victims? But, she wasn't a victim, was she? Yet here I was, reveling in the anger I felt towards the bastard that had done this to her. Maybe, to her, he wasn't one but to me, he was the worst kind. I couldn't stand the idea of knowing that the scumbag who did this to her was out there, prob—

"Olivia," she uttered once, "have you slept?"

"Huh?"

She smiled between her sadness, "Have you slept?"

"Uh," I looked away and back to her eyes, "no, I haven't had a chance."

She nodded, "Go home Olivia, I'm sure you're missed."

I scoffed and smiled, "I'm sure Lucy is taking great care of Noah."

"Lucy?" she looked away and bit her lip; "Is that your wife?"

I laughed and bit my lips, "Uh, no. Lucy is Noah's nanny."

Her eyes gleamed, "Oh," she finished, "Go home Olivia, I'll tell the nurses to notify you if anything changes. Please," she searched my face, "go with be Noah."

I nodded and straighten myself, looking at her face as she smiled at me. All of a sudden this deep urge of kissing her, take her pain away, make her pain bearable but I couldn't… At least not right now, not at this moment. I leaned in, hovering over her lips. I could feel her breath quickening. I smiled and kissed her forehead, "Rest," I said, smiling against her forehead. I pulled back and left, sneaking a glance before walking out, her lips pulled into a smile.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Chapter 6**_

My body ached, a lot. Everything was sore. How I come I didn't notice how sore and in pain I was? Maybe because I slept the entire day on Sunday, I didn't wake up other than to go to the bathroom and grab some water; my body did not want anything to do with the outside world; I ignored his apologetic texts, I ignored his beckoning calls. He had—for lack of a better word—fucked up, _royally_ , and he knew that. This could potentially ruin his reputation within the community. I knew some of his other subs, for Christ's sake, one of his recurrent ladies was the one that brought me to him and trained me, alongside him, to be a better submissive for him.

A sudden knock on the sliding glass door yanks me from my thoughts. Looking up I catch the gaze of the resident and what I guess is his practitioner. They shoot me a warm smile and approach the bedside. Reading me my chart, telling me of my vitals, my heart, and letting me know of my slight internal hemorrhage; they advise that I will be able to go home that afternoon. After three days of being in this wretched place, I was finally ready to leave. It wasn't until the resident mentioned, before exiting my room, that I was to be on bed rest and could not return to work until the following week. With it only being Thursday, I wasn't feeling that much crummy. "Oh," came the sweet voice of the practitioner before she exited, "You have to be under supervision during night time. Do you have a boyfriend or someone that can care for you?"

"Uh," I hesitated, "I'm gay," I chuckled lightly, "Could you call Olivia Benson for me?"

Her face turned when I told her that I was gay, "I apologize, never meant to presume but, definitely, we will make the call."

As they left me again to my solitude, I lay back and relax on my pillow. Not noticing truly, how much he wore my body out during the three-hour scene that took place between the wee hours of the night and early morning of the previous weekend. I close my eyes and relax into deep slumber. Images of Olivia flood my thoughts. From the first moment I lain my eyes on her, my body reacted differently. I felt warm, tingly, and safe. She made me feel safe. Olivia Benson, the very own Lieutenant of the Manhattan's Special Victims Unit was the one woman that made me quiver and fall to my knees. It was that chocolate gaze, that sly smile, the play of her tongue inside her mouth, the dimples, and the sway of her hips when she walked—God, the way she walked. I hear her voice, soothing, lingering, and tangy. She was coaxing me to wake up. My eyes flutter and there she was, dressed sharply and ready with a big smile on her face.

"Lieutenant," I said, yawning and sitting up on the bed, "hello!"

"Hi," she said, "you ready to go?"

I looked at her weirdly, "What?"

"The doctors called me," she smiled as she paused, "They left a message on my phone," she fished her cellphone out of her back pocket. She was smirking delightedly and it spiked my curiosity, " _Good morning_ ," came the voice that I recognized as the practitioner, " _This message is directed towards Lt. Olivia Benson. My name is Rosalie Piccard, I am the Nurse Practitioner assigned to the cardiovascular intensive care unit. We have your girlfriend here, Dr. Mariel Marti that is ready for discharge at two in the afternoon. I hope to see you and have the chance to meet you! I do have some instructions for you about her care so please, I encourage you ask for me before we send her out. Thank you and have a great day!_ " The message ended abruptly and my cheeks were met with the sudden heat of slight embarrassment and not knowing what to say or do in the following moments. I looked at Olivia who had an imp smile across her face, her gaze sporting the same impish demeanor. With her hand on her hip, she tucked her phone back into her back pocket and approached the bedside, "I did not know that I was in a relationship, let alone with a doctor," she paused and chuckled, "Why am I even working?"

We both begun laughing, "I'm sorry Olivia," I say, wiping tears of laughter from my eyes, "I think she misunderstood when I said that I was gay and to please call you."

"Hey," she reached forward and stroked my cheek, "I'm not complaining," there was a heavy, pregnant pause. The feel of her fingers against my cheek felt heavenly, gloriously, and captivatingly amazing; the electricity that coursed through both of our bodies was exhilarating, "Now, come on. We have to pick up Noah from school."

With that she pulled away and stood, handing me a pair of hospital issued scrubs and sneakers. My hair probably resembled that of nest but thankfully the nurses had given me a hair tie and I had twisted it into a bun at the very top of my head. Walking out of the hospital felt amazing, granted I was still sore, nauseous, and groggy because of the choice of medication that had been injected into my body through the numerous IV pumps that were connected to me but I was still grateful to be walking out of that place. Olivia guided me to her car, stepping in I rested my head against the headrest of the seat and waited until Olivia pulled away. I could feel myself smiling, like a lunatic but I felt genuinely happy; at ease and at peace. The car suddenly came to a halt and my mind jolted back to the present.

"Come on," Olivia said turning the ignition, "They're about to come out."

I unbuckle and open the door, following the woman that has made her way from the other side of the car with a smile on her face. As we're standing there, Olivia's phone begins to vibrate; she looks at it, "Fuck," she curses, "I have to take this. Noah's wearing a red and blue collared striped shirt and jeans. He's going to ask you for a password, it's a riddle: How many letters does the elephant carry? The answer is," she leaned in and whispered the answer to my ear, "Seven-seventy," she said pulling away and smiling, handing me the keys.

I smiled and nodded, taking the keys and shoving them in my pocket, feeling for my wallet badge. I hear the commotion of the kids running out and one in particular catches my eyes. He had a head full of chocolate locks, full chubby cheeks and was wearing a long sleeved, red and blue collared shirt and dark wash jeans. I smile and approach him, "Noah?" he turns and smiles as I crouch down to meet his honey gaze evenly, "Hi, my name is Mariel. I'm a friend of your Mommy," I reach into my pocket, pulling out the wallet that held my shield and my picture. Handing it to him so that he can study it as he pleases.

"Are you a Detective?" He asks with the sweetest voice ever.

I giggle and shake my head, "No, I am doctor with the FBI. That's why I have a shield like Mommy's."

He hands me back my wallet, "Where is Mommy?"

"Mommy is taking a very important phone call and she asked me to take you the car and wait there," I say as I take his hands easily into mine, easing my body closer to his to whisper to him, "Mommy told me you have a password?"

His eyes lightened up and his smile was big on his face, "How many letters does the elephant carry?" He whispered loudly, a smile on his face.

I lean in, whispering too, "Seven-seventy."

He smiled and nodded, gripping my hands tightly in encouragement. I stood and walked towards the car, opening the door behind the passengers so that Noah could climb in to his car seat. Once seated he shifts and shimmies out of his backpack and places it to his side, "Do you need help buckling or can you do it yourself big boy?"

"Uh," he says smiling at me, "I can do it myself."

"Alright, let me see," I say, placing my hand on my hip and leaning against the door.

He grins and buckles himself successfully, "Good job buddy!"

Shutting the door I open the passenger side and slide in, leaning over the center and placing the key inside the ignition and turning, having started the car, I turn the air conditioning system on and relax in the chair, my eyes searching outside for Olivia. I smile once my stare meets hers, she raises her hand with her index finger asking for a minute and I nod. Turning completely on my seat, I address the child sitting behind me, "Hey, how was school?"

"It was good, Mrs. Tompson showed us the letter T today. She said that many things being with the letter T, like her last name."

"That's right Noah!" I said, impressed at his conversational skills.

"She asked us if we knew other things that started with the letter T and I said 't-rex'."

"You did?" I said, matching the child's energy.

"Uh-huh!" He said, nodding his head, "I got a green star in my notebook today."

"Well, I am so proud of you Noah. When Mommy comes back to the car, we have to tell her the good news, ok?"

"Ok."

Olivia had opened the door and slide in. I'm guessing that her proximity to the car was enough that she could overhear my conversation with the child in the backseat, "Tell me what?" she said, shutting the door and buckling herself.

"Mommy!" Noah squealed, dragging out the last syllable.

"Hey there sweet boy," she said, reaching behind her and cupping his cheek, "I missed you."

"I missed you too Mommy!"

"So, tell me, what do you have tell me?"

Noah looked at me with a mischievous grin, "Nothing," he said quickly, "it's a secret."

"Really?" she looked at me with a smile to her face, "So now, Mariel and you are keeping secrets from me?"

"I guess you're not cool enough to join our club, Olivia," I quipped, shrugging my shoulders and glancing back at Noah. He laughed and sat comfortably in his booster.

"Oh," Olivia said, faking hurt, "I see how it is. I'll get you both for this."

Noah and I laughed at Olivia as she pulled away from the curb of Noah's school.

The drive was a little longer than expected due to time of day. All of the schools were out at the same time; all the school buses were scheduled to leave at the same time and between Olivia's apartment and Noah's school we went through two different school zones and various crosswalks. It was a ten-minute walk from Noah's school to the apartment and in car, it was must shorter but again, it took us twice the amount of time to arrive at the apartment. Olivia parked and rushed to the other side, opening Noah's door, having the child jump in her arms, squealing in joy. Olivia was a natural with children. She was tactful and respectful, always allowing the child to be in control when interviewing them. The mere sight of her with her child sent goosebumps through my body. I smiled and reveled at the sight developing in front of me. Once Noah was on the ground he ran towards me, grabbing my hand, "Come on Mariel, Mommy is ordering pizza!" I nodded and walked with the child that kept pulling at my hand, glancing back at the voluptuous figure strutting behind me, eyeing my every move. Maybe, just maybe, this could be a good arrangement for the weekend.

Waking up in Olivia's bed was not something that I could ever imagine doing but here I was, in her home and next to her. Her alarm had gone off at six in the morning, waking me up from my sleep. She rolled over and apologized but her apology was dismissed with one of my own. She and I had woken up every hour since we went to sleep in order for me to take my vitals, body temperature, pain in my abdomen when she pushed on it as instructed, and pain in my joints. Though, the last one was a little hard as I was sore from my beating but I did my best to be as honest as possible. I had cajoled her into being a little late into the office so that she could at least rest better. I volunteered to prepare Noah for school. She had protested against it, saying that I needed to rest but I convinced her otherwise successfully after a few go-rounds. I helped Noah get ready for school and by the time Lucy knocked, Noah was already ready and ready to go. It was nearing ten in the morning before Olivia walked out. She had asked me to make myself comfortable and at home and that she would be checking on me regularly throughout the day.

I sat on the couch with a cup of tea at noon, thinking about the events that had transpired during the last few days. Olivia and I hadn't talked much about the search for Cass' parents or any living relatives. They had, however, taken Amanda's suggestion and follow that lead. I knew my expertise was to be needed soon so I stayed near by my phone, in case it rang, even though I knew that Olivia was not going to allow anybody to interrupt my rest, I knew it would be a matter of time before one of them would contact, after some gentle prodding and convincing of Olivia. The thought of Cass made me feel warm on the inside, I did promise her that I was to return to visit her soon, and I aimed to keep that promise. I walked to Olivia's room and kneeled in front of the bag that one of my friends had volunteered to pick up. I walk to the bathroom, disrobing and getting ready for a shower. Once I've changed, I walk out of the apartment with the spare key, some cash, and my phone stuffed in my pockets.

I knew where ACS had placed Cass. She was in a group home in Harlem for girls, ages three to twelve in order to keep at bay and away from men. Volunteers at the home had been instructed that no male was to have contact with her whatsoever; even her caseworker was a woman. I walk out of Olivia's building and approached the nearest subway and after a few stops I was at the nearest one to the group home. I walked in and signed in to see Cass Doe. Her group home leader and I were introduced, "Dr. Marti?" she asked.

"Yes, and you are?"

"Mesha, thanks for coming. You are the first and only visitor she has received," she begun, "Dr. Marti, is your first name Mariel?"

I nodded in response, "She hasn't stopped saying that name since she got here," we stopped in front of her room, the room she shared with five other girls in her age range. We looked through the acrylic window in the door, "She had a breakdown yesterday when she saw our evening janitor. He's this older gentleman in his late seventies that refuses to stop working. She was inconsolable, we had to sedate her but she kept yelling your name, chanting it almost. We didn't know whom it was given that no one briefed us, we would've called you sooner but again, no one knew who this 'Mariel' person was."

She finished with a sigh and my heart had a feeling of both warmth and disintegration. How is it possible that a child with whom I had the minimum contact was turning my heart from the icicle that it had been in previous years to this beating raw piece of muscle that it was intended to be. I smiled warmly to the woman in front of me, "Other than that, how is she adjusting?"

She shook her head, "She isn't. She's detached, nervous, and somewhat aggressive towards some of the staff. She did have a good day the day after she was brought in but mostly, it's hard for her."

She shot me a smile and left, leaving me standing in front of the door. I take a few shaky breaths and knock on the door before pushing it open. She's standing, tense as could be, her back to the door. I smile at the different way she looks. She's clean, sporting some jean shorts, an orange t-shirt, and her feet were bare. Her red hair had been cleaned and it was combed through. Much like mines, her hair was straight and it curled at the ends.

"Hey there sweet girl, remember me?" I spoke softly.

She turned and her smile was apparent to her face, "Mariel," she said running towards me.

I bended at the waist and opened my arms to be able to pick her up, "Hey there sweet pea, how are you?" I say, picking her up as she wrapped her legs around my torso, her face buried deep into my neck. I wince a little in slight pain and discomfort but regardless of, I brought my free hand to her back to rub it gently. I bounced her a little, urging her to speak to me.

"I ok," said the little body wrapped around my body. She lifted her self up and away from my body; looking at my face, "Play?"

I nodded and smile, "Ok, we play."

I set her down and she ran to the bookshelf that was near the window in the room. She moved several books around and retrieved something. Walking back towards me, as I sat on the bed, she handed me my wristwatch, "Safe," she said, smiling at me.

I took the watch from her grasp, "That's right baby girl, you kept it safe."

She turned around and grabbed several puzzles and coloring books. Some of the materials fell along the way but she was quick to pick them up and continue her journey. She had a twin bed facing the window. She climbed it with ease and sat across from me, on her heels as she ran her fingers over her cheek to remove the clinging strands of hair from her cheeks. I smile and grab the box of crayons, pulling one out I begin coloring as she watches me and gleefully joins in. I poke her nose and she giggled, her laughter heartedly filling the empty room.

"Why aren't you outside with the girls Cass?" I ask softly as we color.

"Inside is better, is colder," she looked at me with her expressive deep eyes, "Too many girls," she shook her head.

"Ok," I decided to stop there, I didn't want her to shut down after she had been so receptive to me being there, "Cass, do you know what color you're using?" I ask, smiling at her.

She nodded, repeating the movement across her face for those stray strands of hair that clung to her face while she was bended over the coloring book, "Purple."

"That's right Cass!" I commend her, "How about," I say, bringing my crayon to my chin, tapping it in thought, "how many flowers are in the picture you're painting?"

She looked at the picture and tilted her head, "Seven," she said with conviction.

I nodded and bit my lip, "Hey Cass," she looked up shaking her head, moving her hair behind her shoulders, "who taught you the colors and how to count?"

"Miss Track."

I nodded, "And, did Miss Track teach other kids?"

She shook her head, "Only me. Miss Track say I'm smart," she finished with a smile.

"Yes you are sweetheart! Did Miss Track teach you something else?"

"Uh-huh, spells."

"Spells?" I ask her, confused, "Spell-ing?"

She nodded frantically, "Spell something for me Cass, anything."

"C-A-S-S-I-D-Y," she spelt effortlessly. Before I could ask anything else, she continued, "J-A-D-E," she stopped and smiled.

"Cassidy Jade," I said, "That's your name Cass, good job!" She smiled, "What else do you know?"

She didn't answer but she executed, she had written down her name 'Cassidy Jade' on the picture that she was coloring. When I nodded in approval she folded over the page and wrote 'Mar', attempting to write my own name, "I-E-L," I helped the child that was so eager to show me that she was not as unable as I thought she was, "Good girl Cass, you are very smart. I am proud of you."

"Thank you," she said as she smiled.

My phone vibrated against my bottom before I could reply to the girl. I twisted and retrieved it, looking at the screen that showed Lt. Benson across my screen, "Lieutenant," I spoke softly, my mouth in a short smile.

" _How are you feeling?_ " she asked and I could almost hear the smile across her face.

"In a little discomforting pain but, I'll be fine."

" _Have you eaten? And, don't lie to me Marti, I'm a cop._ "

I giggle at Olivia's remark, "The pills take away my appetite. I had a cup of tea before I left the house."

" _You left the house? Where are you? I'm picking you up._ "

"Relax Olivia," I say; stifling a chuckle, "I came to visit Cass."

" _You know you're supposed to be resting._ "

"I'll die a stultifying suffering if I don't do something to stimulate my mind, plus, I—" I stop myself from saying something too revealing and vulnerable to the brunette.

" _You what, honey?_ "

I waited before continuing.

" _You what Mariel? Don't shut me out now, please._ "

I shake my head, "Nothing, pay me no mind," I pondered something and before I could stop myself my mouth was already several miles ahead than my own brain, "Hey, could I pick up Noah from school and take him for ice cream before you come home? I'll start on dinner after I drop Cass back to the group home."

" _Uh,_ " Olivia was in thought, deep and lingering thought, " _Are you sure? You're supposed to be resting._ "

"Yes Olivia, why do you think I asked?"

" _Ok then, I'll call Lucy. Thank you._ "

"It's my pleasure Lieutenant," I say as I bring the call to an end.

I look at the child that has been staring at me for the past five minutes and I smile towards her, "Cass," I begin, "how would you like to go for ice cream with me and my little buddy Noah?"

She tensed slightly, "Noah?"

"It's ok sweet girl, it's ok," I coo, bringing my hand to her cheek, rubbing my thumb against her soft flesh, "Noah is five-year-old boy. He's as sweet as you and he's my friend. He won't hurt you sweet pea."

I searched her face and felt her body relax, "I like chocolate."

I laugh wholly, "Chocolate it is!"

Technically, Cass was not supposed to leave the group home under a pending investigation but seeing as the home had a soft spot for this girl and the obvious interaction, connection, and affection that the child and I shared. After getting some sneakers on the barefooted girl and signing out the release form for a couple of hours we were ready to go. Cass was excited to be leaving with me to grab Noah and fetch some ice cream. Walking back to the subway Cass had a tight grip on my hand, afraid that I was going to let go at any moment but I wasn't. I squeezed her hand gently and gave her a reassuring smile, which was returned as she eased on the grip of my hand. The short subway ride placed me exactly two blocks from Noah's school. We walked together, never letting my hand go until we stopped with the other mothers in the crowd. I swung her arm playfully, eliciting a string of giggles from the girl. I hear the commotion and my eyes dart forward, looking for the boy in the graphic t-shirt and blue shorts. Finding Noah, I call out for him and wave with my free arm, he approaches me running towards and stopping, once in front of me.

"Hey bud," I say, "I asked Mommy if it was fine for me to pick you up and take you and my friend here Cass to ice cream. What do you say?"

"Yes!" he squealed, shouting and jumping in the air.

"Alright mister," I say laughing with the boy and kneeling next to Cassidy, "Now Cass," she looks at me, her eyes expressive and wide, "this is Noah, he is not going to hurt you. Can you say hi to him?"

She searched my face, her eyes darting back and forth between my eyes. She nodded and released my hand, slowly approaching Noah. Noah smiled at the girl, his dimples showing effortlessly, "Hi Noah, I'm Cass."

"Hi Cass," he said chipper, "I like your hair."

Cass looks back at me and I smile in return. She turns around and smiles at Noah, "Thank you."

"You're welcome!" Noah says before approaching me and grabbing my hand, "Come on Cass, let's go get ice cream."

Cass smiled and ran to me, squeezing my hand in approval. I looked down at the girl on my right and smiled down at her, taking our first steps to the ice cream shop.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Chapter 7**_

Our afternoon had gone uneventful. I took Noah and Cass to the ice cream shop that was a few blocks between Noah's school and the apartment. In the middle of our fun, an unexpected but welcomed visitor arrived and surprised us all. Olivia, had wrapped up in the office quickly just in time to catch us while we took our last licks and bites of our ice creams. Noah ordered Neapolitan—his favorite—Cass ordered chocolate and I ordered chocolate chip cookie dough. The shop was packed with families and groups of teenagers. It was the last day of school for most of the public schools and it was a beautiful afternoon. As Olivia walked in I was barely halfway through my second scoop. Once she kissed and tickled Noah, she addressed the little redhead sitting next to Noah and proceeded to stare me down. The air around us impregnated with tension and sexual desire. She smiled at me as I offered her my cone, she took a bite and returned it but I urged her to keep as I was done. Olivia took my place as I stood to return to the register to get myself a bottle of water. Cass immediately tensed as she saw me stand. Olivia was quick and reached for her elbow and convinced her that everything was going to be all right, that I was just going to get some water. I walked to the register and stood in front it after grabbing bottled water.

"They are beautiful," said the young woman behind the counter.

"Thanks!"

"She looks like you, you know?"

"Huh?"

"The girl, you're her mom. I mean, you're both their mom but she resembles you and the little guy resembles your wife. You both make a beautiful couple," she finished her ramble whilst I just stared in awe.

"Oh… I… Uh… We…"

"No worries," she interrupted, "the owners of the shop were a lesbian couple as well. Now their son runs it. You don't have to apologize or hide."

She handed me my change and I smiled and left, not knowing what to say or how to stop it. There weren't many ways to render me silent but she had done so. I walked back with a roguish smile across my lips, uncapping the bottle and taking a sip. Olivia, on the qui vive as ever took notice of my smile and demeanor. I couldn't lie, I did find some sort of satisfaction that the young lady behind the counter thought we were a family and more than that, thought that Cass actually belonged to me… to _us_. Granted, Olivia and I were not a couple, we weren't even dating for Christ's sake but there was something there. I could tell. Olivia could tell. Hell, apparently, the world could tell as well. I offered Noah a sip of water but he refused, then I offered Cass one and she took it gladly, and finally I asked the older brunette whom, too refused.

After we made sure that they were all done with their ice creams, we all walked back to Olivia's car where we all eased in comfortably as Olivia made her way to Cass' group home. I walked her in and sign in, making it known that she was brought back responsibly and that no harm had been done to her. I escort her back to her shared room and as I am ready to bid my valediction to the girl, she begins to tear up. Her porcelain skin stained with tears and sudden florid rush to her cheeks. I asked her what was wrong and before she could answer, she wrapped her arms around my neck and held me as tight as her little body could, stating that she wanted to come home with me, that she didn't want me to go. My heart broke for this girl. I was meant to be strong and serve as a pillar for children. For heaven's sake, I was a doctor, whose sole job was to protect and do no harm but, here I was, causing harm—involuntarily though—nonetheless, harm to a six-year-old child that wanted and craved a sense of stability and an unscathed, unassailable environment. I rubbed her sides up and down several times before I broke the embrace. I closed my eyes and steadied myself, leaning in to kiss her sodden cheeks. My mouth was near her ear, I whisper to her the words that I never thought I would, the words that could get me in trouble with my Chief of Staff, the words that could possibly risk any and every chance of a future relationship to this girl. Pulling back, her expressive doe eyes gleamed in contentment and her smile nearly reached her ears. I handed her my watch once more and kissed her nose, bidding her farewell. Outside I neatly slide into Olivia's car and again, I knew she had noticed my rogue smile but decided against it to speak to me about it for now. I bit my lip and looked at the woman besides me, I guess things weren't as bad for me as I thought they could be.

Back at Olivia's apartment, I had prepared dinner for the hungry duo; like mother, like son. Olivia had retired to help Noah with bath time after dinner and I had fallen into the task of cleaning up the kitchen and placing everything in its respective place. I began preparing water for tea, though I could really use a glass of wine but because of the medication and my internal bleeding, alcohol didn't seem the most plausible thing to do. I sat on the couch with my cup of tea, thinking about the questions that I had asked Cass earlier in the day. I feel the air in the room change; Olivia had just walked up behind me. I turn around on the couch and notice her through the opening on that wall that gives view to the kitchen.

"Rough night Lieutenant?"

She looks up from her glass of wine and smiles, "Not at all, pretty relaxing."

I nod and take a sip from my cup, waiting for the brunette to make her way from the kitchen and join me on the couch. As she does so and sits next to me, the electricity between us grows. The sudden pull between our bodies just grew and grew, getting stronger and stronger. I shake my head and smile, "Do you have any leads on Cass' case? I think I have some details that may help you."

She breathed out, "No, we're deadlocked. Amanda was able to get the file from her old precinct in Atlanta."

"Are you familiar with all of the cases that come through SVU?"

"Yes," she chuckled, "It's my job."

I nodded and smiled, "Did Fin tell you anything about the casualties at the raid?"

She furrowed her brow and leaned forward to place her wine glass on the table, "What is this about?"

"Please, answer. You know I will not violate doctor-patient confidentiality."

She scoffed and nodded, "Five bodies, all taken during the raid. Three males, two females; all accounted for."

"Have you had any Jane Does recently?"

"Yes, we have about a dozen at the morgue," she asked, clearly concerned with my line of questioning.

"Look for missing teachers, elementary teachers," I said, looking her deep in to her eyes. We communicated through our eyes. I led her on and she got the message, "Cassidy Jade, is her name."

"Cass?" She asked, "We can do something with that, it can narrow down the search. I'll tell Fin," she said as she stood.

She searched for her phone and rapidly dialed the Sergeant's number. She gave directions and spoke quickly, the call taking less than ten minutes. She stunts back towards me, plopping on the couch, victoriously, "Someone's satisfied."

She nodded.

 _I'm not!_

"Thank you."

I widened my eyes in surprise, my mouth matching my eyes, leaning forward and placing my empty cup atop the table, "Did I just hear a 'thank you' from the all apprehensive and stoic Lieutenant Benson?"

She blushed lightly, biting her lip and hanging her head, "Oh, don't hide now Lieutenant."

Before she could react to my banter her lips crashed on mine. Soft supple lips pressed vigorously against mine. A moan escaped my throat as I felt the sudden taste of Olivia's tongue against my lips, asking permission to enter my mouth. I smile against her lips, teasing and fighting her for dominance. She returned the smile and I saw the opportunity and bit her lip hellishly. Her mouth parted, allowing access for my tongue that searched the smooth velvety house of hers. Our tongues danced against each other, lapping in unison, battling for dominance and possession. I pulled back, again, teasing her. She groaned, throaty and loud as she pushed her tongue in to my mouth and her tongue ran through my teeth, exploring my cheeks causing me to moan against her. My hands roamed Olivia's body, finding the hem of her blouse and pushing my hands inside and against her skin. I found the mounds clothed in lace and gave them a squeeze eliciting a long moan from her, her body arching into my hands, her eyes shut and her mouth parted and away from mine.

I smirked impishly and leaned to capture the skin of her neck in my mouth, my body floating on top of hers. I sucked, nipped, and licked the smooth warm flesh of Olivia's neck, my body grinding effortlessly atop of hers; my hands working just as eagerly as my mouth against Olivia's breasts. Her breathing had become erratic; her hands were at my hips, grounding my body with every grind. It wasn't until she dug her nails into my flesh and raked her hands upwards and grazed one of my bruises that I straighten up and grounded my pelvis, hissing in both pain and pleasure. A small whimper escaped my throat and Olivia shot up from the couch, "Oh, Mariel," she said heaving, "Did I hurt you, sweetheart?"

"You grazed a bruise, I'm fine Olivia," I said looking down at her, my chest rising high.

She smiled and writhed underneath me, "Bedroom?"

I nodded and stood, allowing Olivia to stand and lead the way towards the bedroom. Once inside, I took off my shirt and was immediately in my bra and quickly shed my shorts as well. By the time the brunette turned around, I was in my underwear. Olivia sized me up as I walked towards her, "Too much in the way Lieutenant," I said as I unbuttoned her blouse. On the last few buttons her hands found mine, "Mariel," she whispered, I hummed in response, "I have some scars and over the years—"

I interrupted her with a kiss. I knew what she was doing, "Nothing matters Olivia," I say against her lips, "I want you as a whole," I say looking at her deep into her eyes, "There is nothing that will make me think less of you," I finished, turning her and sitting on the edge of the bed. My hands working with the last few buttons until her blouse opened. It fell from her shoulders and revealed her glowing skin. I smiled and leaned, capturing the skin of her abdomen on my lips. Olivia hitched a breath, her hands running through my hair. I bit gently at her stomach, loving every inch of this woman. My hands roamed and caressed her thighs and bottom, having her fill the room with moans, sighs, and expletives.

Olivia pushed me by my shoulders to the bed, her hands lingering down the sides of my body. Our stares trained on each other. Her fingers playing with my waistband and as she hesitated my boldness showed as my fingers gently removed her bra. She slid down my body, landing in between my legs, her fingers hooked on my underwear, slowly removing them from my legs. My body tingled under Olivia's skillful touch. Her fingers roamed my sex, her eyes trained on my mound. She bit her lip and licked them before she dove into my folds.

My body arched off of the bed, "Olivia," I said in a breathy sigh. Her tongue lapped me with fervor and purpose, it circled nerve-ending flesh, and my hands were quick to find her hair. One finger made it inside of me and the noise my body made was enough to make me succumb in pleasure but it wasn't until Olivia's second finger was inserted in me that I reacted, "Jesus, Olivia!" She hummed and her fingers picked up the pace, my legs shaking near her face.

I knew she could feel it, I could feel her smile against my lips. Her fingers curled up and her mouth sucked on my sensitive nub, "Fuck… O—, No… Liv," I dragged the last syllable as my body shook and my hips rolled into her mouth as wave after wave of arousal pooled in Olivia's mouth. She continued to lap, cleaning up the mess that we had caused together. Her hands trailed my legs and her body weight was on top of me.

"You are as sweet as a peach," she said as she kissed me passionately, tasting myself on her tongue. My arms looped her neck and brought her close to me, never wanting this moment to finish.

I broke our kiss, desperate for air, our lips swollen, "God, Olivia," I breathed against her lips.

Olivia scoffed and smiled, "I'm glad you can make that comparison," she giggled.

I closed my eyes and shook my head, opening my eyes to look into her amber stare. I snaked my hand between us, touching her deliberately, "You're so wet," I say as she closes her eyes and her mouth gapes.

My hand picked up the pace on her bundle of nerves, "Oh… fuck… me," she growled as she moaned. I leaned in, capturing her mouth with mine, feverishly, knocking the wind out of both of us. I push against Olivia, overpowering her and flipping her on her back, her body landing on my legs. My hands picks up the pace, "Mare… please," Olivia whispered, her hands gripping the sheets.

"Tell me, Olivia. Tell me what you need," I coaxed.

She was trembling. I smiled to my self, dipping my fingers into her core, "Now, Olivia," I said firmly.

"Fuck. Me."

My fingers delved deeper into her, curling upwards, rubbing, and teasing her engorged spot. Olivia succumbed and trembled. As I reveled in her pleasure, mine rose once more. I mounted her lap, snaking my right leg underneath her left, bringing our sexes together, "Please, I can't," she begged, as her hands stroke my left thigh.

"Don't fight it Olivia, I want to come with you," I pleaded as I began rocking my hips against her. Her hand caressed my thigh, one of mine rested on her thigh; pinching and grabbing at her skin and the other one, at her breast, evoking claim. "Oh, Livia," I shouted and threw my head back, looking at the ceiling.

Olivia moaned and groaned underneath me, our bodies rocking in unison, bringing each other to a second orgasm. Her legs were trembling, a tell sign that she was close, "Mare, I'm so close," she whispered, raking her nails on the skin of my thigh.

We locked eyes, fiery brown against icy grey, "Let go… O—Please," my body was shaking but I was not allowing for release until Olivia had hers too. Her body stiffened and that was my telling sign, we both came undone on each other. I moaned her name. Olivia moaned mine. I collapsed onto Olivia, heaving deeply.

Her arms circled my body, craving the intimacy post-coitus that only lovers shared. My body thrummed and vibrated. I could feel the heat of our bodies and Olivia's soothing hand against my shoulder blade. My arm rested on her chest, my thumb caressing her skin. Olivia shuffled as she searched for the sheet to cover us, "No, no, please," I pleaded, "I don't want to hide anymore," I whispered as I kissed her sweat-covered flesh.

Olivia kissed the top of my head and held me close, slowly slipping into slumber.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Chapter 8**_

It had been five months since my first day at the Special Victim's unit. It had also been five months of me, constantly seeing Olivia and Noah. Oh, and who could forget about my little firecracker, Cass? The squad had warmed up to me significantly and it wasn't until a month ago that I had fully and completely noticed it. We had caught a case where Lea Vulpix, a woman in her forties had been accused of raping and molesting several children on her block. At first, it was hard to believe, she was a woman for Christ's sake but once I was brought in, I could definitely tell that she had signs of being the victim of abuse since she was a child. With a little more prodding and digging, I found out that her mother had turned her out after discovering one of her numerous step fathers in bed with her, raping her, claiming that "if she wanted to fuck with older men the least she could do was help with the rent." At the young age of twelve, Lea had already had sex with countless men and her occasional woman as well. She even had the balls to proposition me! By the time Vulpix was twenty-five she had had six abortions, been diagnosed with chlamydia several times, and was already suffering with vaginal dryness; something that doesn't happen until your menopause stage. This led her to be abused by her clients. When she turned thirty, one of her constant clients "saved" her and brought her in to live with her. What she failed to realize is that he, had a ten-year-old living with him whom he used for personal satisfaction. One night, Lea caught her "savior", whom we later identified as Mason Brunson, raping the child. Considering this as normal behavior, she joined the man in raping and molesting the child. Surprised by the actions of his adult lover, he urged her to befriend neighborhood kids and offer babysitting services in exchange that he would pick a new child every other month to rape and molest to their liking. It was disgusting and truly disturbing. In the end, roughly twenty children underwent severe psychological assessments to identify who had been a victim and who had not been. Out of the twenty children, six were the damned. They ranged in age, gender, height, and racial background. Olivia, as Lieutenant and Commanding Officer of the unit, ordered mandatory psychological evaluations for the entire squad, including herself. I was not supposed to perform her evaluation but if I didn't it could raise suspicions at the Bureau. I underwent my own evaluation as well, since I had been the one to conduct and sit in on all the interviews with the children.

Cass' case was still at a halt. They, however, discovered that the body of a Jane Doe belonged to the woman whom had taught Cass in the same room where she had been kept all this time, Jean Track. She was a teacher for New York's Public School System and had gone missing roughly about two years ago only to turn up floating the Hudson a couple of days before the raid. The perpetrator had left no DNA and if he had, it had been washed away by her exposure to water. The ME ruled that she had been beaten, raped, and possibly maimed and that the cause of death had been exsanguination. They also found remnants of crystal meth in her blood stream and several burn marks on her body. The girl had been through hell and back. I, in the other hand, visited Cass every weekend without failure. I kept up with her mental well being, advising at the group home that I was the only doctor and person to make decisions when it came to her treatment. She had progressed; her speech had improved and was now making her way to being up to par to a child her age. She was enrolled in a home-schooling program through the group home and seemed to be adjusting and participating well in all her classes. She did, however, showed apprehension when it came to reading. She struggled but in full concentration, she could figure it out. She still didn't remember what had happened to her in the time that she was held in captivity or even if she had been born in captivity. CODIS had not turned up any DNA or familial DNA that could match Cass, which could only mean that her mother and father were not in the American system. The search had been expanded to AFIS as well but no records had been brought back. Roughly two months ago, I spoke to my Chief of Staff at the Bureau and explained the situation of the child. He saw how fond I had become of the child and had asked what were my true intentions in the end, to which I had no other choice, but to reveal them and ask for his help—the Bureau's help.

"Mariel Marti, FBI," I said as I picked up the receiver of my ringing office phone.

"Marti, I have good news. Ride up to my office and meet me in five minutes," came the hoarse voice of my Chief.

"Yes Chief. I'll be right up," I say, scurrying to get up from my chair and exiting my office.

I had an idea of what this could be and mean. I smiled to myself as I made my way fiercely to the elevator. I punch the up arrow and patiently waited. The elevators in the federal building had a notorious reputation of being slower than molasses. I mean, no one could blame them, it was after all a thirty-two story building where its workers were at constant work and movement throughout the day and night. I waited what seemed to be an eternity, I was nervous and fidgety, _Jesus Mariel, pull yourself together!_ My thoughts coursed through my mind when the all-familiar ding rang loudly, coursing through my ear canal. I step inside the cabin and pressed the number twenty-seven, only five floors above mine. Thankfully, I was the only one in the cabin and the elevator made no effort in stopping in any of the subsequent floors. The doors opened to the twenty-seventh floor and I exited, quickly making my way to the office of my superior.

 _Knock, knock, knock!_ I made it known by knocking on the glass.

Fitzgerald looks up, "Mariel," he says from above his glasses, "Come in, have a seat," he says as he turns behind him to rummage through a desk drawer to his left.

As I sit, he pulls out a manila envelope and hands it to me. I furrow my brow, twisting my wrist, "What is this?"

He chuckles, "You know, for being an incredibly bright young woman, you are very taciturn Ms. Marti."

I smile and look at the parcel in my hands, opening it, eyeing the documents inside without actually bringing them out. My vision became blurry as the sudden realization of what the contents inside were, "Thank you, Sir!" I say in between tears, "Thank you so, so much!"

Fitzgerald stands and circles his desk, leaning against it in front of me, "You deserve it Mariel. You've done great work thus far and I've seen the smile and the way you caress the picture that is sitting atop your desk," my eyes shoot up to meet his golden-tinted stare, "Don't think I haven't noticed it," he says crossing his arms matter-of-factly.

"I'm sorry," I muse to my superior, "I didn't know I was doing that."

"Don't apologize for displaying you affection for this child Mariel," Fitzgerald continued, "Yes, I understand that it goes against everything you're supposed to believe in as a medical professional but, I am glad you did come to me and we were able to speak about and get yourself evaluated and cleared by the Bureau. You did everything right, I am proud of you," he stopped briefly looking at me straight in the eyes, "Now, I've arranged for you to be on call for the next six weeks, giving you time to adjust and settle in as a new mother. You won't be necessarily be called in to report here or any of the cases here but you'll still have to report to Lieutenant Benson at SVU, do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal," I utter as I stood, extending my hand to the man in front of me, "Thank you so much, Deputy Chief. I hope to bring her by once I find her health to be on track with treatment."

He nodded and shook my hand, dismissing me slightly from his office.

I clutched the parcel to my chest, grinning incessantly at the ground below me. I couldn't believe this was happening to me. I couldn't believe that today, I had woken up a woman but was to go to bed as a mother. I was beyond excited and could not wait to swing by and pick up Cass and tell her the good news.

Leaving the Bureau, I checked my watch, fifteen past three. Noah surely was already out from school and Lucy surely had him. I had checked out an official vehicle for the course of two weeks and successfully made my way towards the group home I had found placement for Cass. I decided to call and announce to Mesha—Cass' group leader—the good news and to prepare a bag with the few belongings that she had without telling her anything. Traffic was not all too bad as I was heading the opposite way to Cass' group home. Without me realizing it, I was already parked in front of the too familiar structure. I centered myself, breathing in and out steadily as I make way with the proper paperwork to check out, once and for all, the distraught girl that had been brought here five months ago.

"Dr. Marti," I was greeted cheerfully by Mrs. Dawson, an elderly lady who loved to volunteer at the group home, "It's a treat seeing you here in the middle of the week, what brings you by?"

I sigh and smile, "I'm here to take Cassidy home… forever."

The woman's eyes widened, her lip quivered, and tears bean to fall as she covered her mouth, "God bless you, Dr. Marti! God only knows what that sweet angel has been through and having you in her life will definitely do her some good," she finished as she wiped her tears away, "Here, let me call me Mesha."

I nodded, "Please, I'm anxious to take her home."

Mesha was quick to arrive at the front desk, handing a small duffel bag with donated clothing items, shoes, and Cassidy's favorite books, puzzles, and activity books, "She's up in her room," Mesha said as she handed me the bag.

"Would you mind if I leave this here? I won't be long," I ask of Mrs. Dawson, handing her the bag and Mesha the proper documentation finalizing my adoption.

I climb the stairs to the second floor where Cass' room is located. I look through the acrylic glass window and see her, legs folded underneath her body as she reads one of her books. I knock on the door and slowly make my way in, "Cass?" I coo as I open the door, capturing the attention of the single girl in the room.

Her face lights up and she runs towards me, "Mariel!" She shouts as her body flushes with mine. Her arms are tight around my neck and mines around her waist, "You're here and is only Wednesday!"

"I know sweet girl," I say as I rub her back, "Listen Cass, I have to ask you something," I say to her, releasing her tiny frame, rubbing her sides so that she can break the embrace.

"Wait!" She says, releasing me and running towards the small bookshelf and scrambling to find the wristwatch that forever changed the interaction between this child and me. As she scrambled to find it, I smile to myself, knowing that this would be the last time that she would have to keep it safe for me whilst I returned. She comes back with a smile, handing me the silver wristwatch, "Safe," she says as she ran her little hand across her face to clear her face of hairs that seem to get stuck to her.

I smile and snap the watch on behind the one I already sport, "Listen Cass, how would you like to live with me?"

Cassidy smiled and jumped up and down, "You'll be my mommy!"

I laugh, "Yes, sweetheart, I'll be your mommy."

She lunged forward, barely giving me time to catch her. I wrapped my hands around her and came to a stand, as Cassidy wrapped her gams around my body. I rubbed her back and I bit back my own tears. She heard me sniffling and she pulled back, looking into my eyes, "Don't cry Mama," she said, as she stroked my face.

I held her up underneath her bottom, bringing my hand to my face to wipe away the tears, "I'm not sweetheart," I shook my head and smiled at her, "Come on, get your shoes and backpack," I rested my forehead against hers and whispered, "we'll visit Olivia at work."

She nodded and let her limbs dangled against my body. I placed her on the ground and she grabbed socks and her gently worn shoes. She grabbed her backpack and ran to me, grabbing my hand and squeezing it. I shook her arm playfully and began walking out of the shared room and down the stairs. We paused at the front desk and grabbed her small duffel bag and for Cass to say her farewells to Mesha and Mrs. Dawson. We waved them goodbye and made our way outside to the SUV. I opened the back door to reveal a high-back belt-positioning booster; Cass was still underweight for her age and height. Under New York law, all children under eight years old must be seated in a protective seat. She looked up at me and smiled, I smiled back at her and helped her inside. She took off her backpack and placed it next to the booster. I put the duffel underneath her feet and buckled her in. I shut the door and made my way to the other side of the SUV, I hopped in and we made our way to the sixteenth precinct.

Once outside the precinct Cass and I park on the authorized only slot since they're federal plates, we had immunity and no one could tow us. We make our way up and notice a quiet bullpen. Either they were out on a case or in the interrogation room. I notice Olivia's door open, which always meant that she was in. I kneel in front of Cass look at her face, I push several strands away from her face and tucked her hair behind her ear, "Olivia is in that office, you want to run in there and surprise her?"

She looked at me warily, "I am not leaving you Cass; I'll be right behind you."

She looked into my eyes and brought her hand to my face. I held her hand there and kissed her palm, "I promise."

She smiled and nodded and began running towards the office. I was hot behind her, "Livia," she shouted, dragging the last syllable in a squeal.

Olivia turned in her chair and picked up the jovial girl and sat her on her lap, "Hi Livia," Cass said.

"Hey there, sweet pea," Olivia said, shocked to see the little one there out of the blue, "Who brought you here?"

"Mama did," Cass said, playing with Olivia's necklace.

Olivia widened her eyes and smiled, "Who found your Mama, Cass?"

Cass had confused look on her face as if she didn't understand the question. I leaned on the doorframe and Cass looked at the door, smiling at me as I waved to them both, "Cass was just telling me we found her mom," Olivia spoke.

I shook my head, "We didn't. Why don't you ask her who her mother is, Olivia; she'll tell you."

Olivia looked at me concerned as I kept my face straight with no sign of emotion. She rubbed Cass' back and fiddled with her hair, "Cass, honey, who's your mom?"

Cass looked at the door and smiled, "Mariel," Cass said, settling into Olivia as she often did when we all spent time together, "She said that now I can live with her at home."

Olivia's eyes swelled with tears and a smile came across her face, "Oh, Cass," Olivia pulled her in for a hug, "Why didn't you say anything Mariel?"

I shrugged and approached them; "I wanted it to be a surprise, for all. Plus," I said as I sat, "I didn't want to make promises that I wasn't sure I could keep."

"Oh Mariel," Olivia mused, "I am so happy for you… for you both."

"Mama," Cassidy spoke softly.

"Yea, baby," I answer.

"I'm hungry, could we eat?"

I smiled and stood, "Of course! Come on, say bye to Olivia and we can stop for pizza on our way home," I finished stretching out my arm for her to take.

"Livia," Cass said before Olivia had a chance to put her down.

Olivia hummed, "Does Noah want pizza?"

Olivia looked at me and I shared the same perplexed she had, "I don't know," she removed her stare from me and placed it on Cass, "Let's call Lucy and ask."

Cass nodded and hopped off her lap, walking towards me. She had convinced Olivia to leave her job at five in the afternoon; this girl had the power to do what no one could. The only other reason Olivia leaves before her time is because of Noah. Olivia gathered her belongings and followed us out. At that moment, Detective Rollins showed herself, "Hey Liv, leaving early?"

"Uh, yea. Thought since we were slow, you guys would be fine."

Amanda nodded, "Dr. Marti," she nodded at me, "Hey there sweetheart, remember me?"

Cass looked up at me and gripped my hand. I nodded at her, " _It's ok_ ," I mouthed to her, "You're Mama's friend," she said softly.

Amanda looked between Olivia and I, "Who's your Mama, sweetie?" Amanda said, her drawl apparent.

"Mariel."

Amanda shared the exact same look that Olivia sported and I couldn't help but giggle, "Adoption was finalized today, Detective," I uttered.

"Oh wow," Amanda said, rubbing her brow, "congratulations Mariel, she has gained a great mom."

I nodded and we all waved Amanda goodbye. We make our out of the precinct and parted ways since Olivia needed a squad car at all times. She noticed the black SUV and raised her brows, I shook my head, "It's temporary," she nodded and we headed our way to Olivia's apartment. At this point the streets were crowded, that five o'clock traffic rush had hit the streets of Manhattan and we were slowly moving behind Olivia's unmarked police car. I looked up into my rearview mirror and saw Cass with a coloring book on her lap, concentrated on the picture she was working on. I smile as I notice the bliss on the child's face. She had been through a lot in her short time on this Earth and the "worst" part of it was that, she did not remember an ounce of it. I should've been relieved that she had no recollection of the horrors she had endured but in all honesty, it was the only way I could really work with her and find out the best treatment for her. But, that was just it. Cassidy was _not_ my patient; Cassidy was _not_ just another sequence of numbers. No. Cassidy was my daughter. My oath had no upholding when it came to her. She was my child, not my patient and all I could do was be there for her when she needed me… as her mother, not her doctor. It was bound to be a long road but, I deliberately sign up for this. She deserved a family. She deserved a mother who loved and cared for her. She had been through enough and if giving her my last name and bringing her into my life and my home were steps closer into her healing and future then that's exactly what I was to do. My thoughts had been running wild and I never noticed that I had made it to Olivia's apartment building.

I hear Cass' door pop open and my eyes immediately shot back, "Hey sweet girl, did I scare you?" Olivia asked.

Cass nodded and her body relaxed, "I'm sorry honey," she said as she caressed her cheek, "Come on, let's go inside; pizza is on its way."

Cass nodded and smiled. Olivia looked up at me and smiled, I released a gust of air and relaxed into the chair, running my fingers through my hair.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Chapter 9**_

"Mariel," Noah said as he ran to me, dragging on the last syllable.

"Hey, sweet boy," I uttered as I picked him up, "were you good to Lucy?"

He nodded and smiled as he caught a glimpse of his mother, "Hi Mommy," Olivia and I swapped him in our arms.

I grabbed Cass' hand and directed her to the couch, "Hi Lucy," she addressed the younger brunette.

"Hey there Cass, how are you?"

"I'm good, we're eating pizza."

"You are?" Lucy responded and Cassidy nodded, "Hi Ms. Benson—Dr. Marti, Noah is done with homework. I was just about to fix him dinner when you called."

"Oh, thank you Lucy," Olivia conceded.

She nodded and began collecting her belongings as she walked out of the apartment. She bid us farewell and walked out. I sat next to Cass on Olivia's couch and she happily crawled into my lap, leaning her head against my chest. My heart swelled and I bit back tears, swallowing hard at how much love radiated through my body. I watched as Olivia interacted with her son and I looked down at my lap at the underweight little girl that only wanted and craved human touch. I kissed her hair, "Cassidy?"

She looked up at and smiled, "Yes?"

"I love you," I mumbled, low enough for only us to hear.

"I love you too, Mama," she threw her arms around my neck, pulling me in a tight embrace.

A sudden knock breaks every one of us out of concentration and Olivia runs to get the door. I tap Cass' leg and usher her to her the table. I stand after she has and walk towards the kitchen grabbing four plates and cups and walk them over to the table, "Cass, spread them out, please," I say as I hand her the plates, "Noah, cups?" I offer him the acrylic tumblers for our beverages. Olivia walks over with two boxes of pizza and sets them in the middle of her table as I rummage for the apple juice and water. I poured the drinks on each respective cup and sit down. Olivia distributed the slices accordingly and we all began eating.

"You had fun at school today, Noah?" Olivia begun.

"Uh-huh," he said, taking a bite out of his slice, "We learned about money!"

"Oh great, now he's going to hustle for me more," Olivia quipped, causing me to giggle, "What about you, Cass? Mama tells me you're doing well in school. And, I heard you like math," Olivia inquired softly.

"We're learning to tell analog time," she scanned the room and noticed Olivia's wall clock, "It's six twenty-two."

I looked at both of my wristwatches, she was correct, "Good job Cass, you did good."

"Oh, Olivia," I captured her attention, "I'll be out of my office for six weeks but per my Chief's orders, I am to answer SVU's calls and present myself to the precinct when needed," I took a swig of my water, "Please, do not hesitate to call me, Lieutenant."

"I won't," she winked at me.

I smiled and we continued eating. We laughed and reveled in Noah's wit and Cass' resilience. She was comfortable and at ease with Noah, the only male in her life at the moment. We all picked up our messes and washed our hands. As the night progressed, Olivia excused herself to give Noah a bath and I directed my attention to Cass.

"Cass," she turned and hummed at me from the floor, "do you want to take a bath here?"

She nodded, "Alright, let me talk to Olivia. I'll get your pajamas from the bag downstairs. We can go shopping for new clothes tomorrow."

"Shopping?" she asked, confused by the term.

I chuckled, "Yes, I am going to get you new clothes. Anything you'd like."

She smiled big and ran to me, "Thank you Mama."

I kissed her cheek, "Anytime sweet pea."

I stood and approached the bathroom with my eyes closed, like I often did when I was at Olivia's, "Olivia," I called from the door.

"Yea?"

"Can Cassidy take a bath here? It is getting kind of l—"

"Mariel," she called out, I hummed in response, "Open your eyes."

"Olivia," I protested.

"Open them."

I did so and Noah was submerged and playing calmly in the water. I sighed and smiled at his soap-covered hair, "You don't have to ask permission to bathe your daughter in my home, Mare," she stood from the floor and walked towards me, "Just like I don't have to ask permission to do this…"

Olivia leaned in and captured my lips within hers. My arms in a reflex looped around her waist and I pulled her in towards me, flushing our bodies and melding them into one. I moaned upon contact and Olivia took it upon herself to sneak her tongue into my mouth. I draw her tongue in, feeling my arousal increase as her hand pulls my neck into her face. She bites down on my lips when we come to a release, my chest heaving when it feels that much needed breath of air. I smile against her lips and kiss her quickly, "I'll be back."

She nodded and I released her body, patting her hip playfully. I walk past Cass and shoot her a quick smile and head downstairs. Downstairs the air is beginning to feel fresh, letting us know that autumn is fast approaching. I press the button in my hand to unlock the SUV as I reach the door. I take out Cass' bag and shut and lock the SUV. Something in the corner of my eye catches my attention. I snap my head quickly and focus my eyes on where the movement came from; all I see is a shadow. I squint my eyes and even my breathing, attempting to focus on my surroundings. There was a man walking his dog to my left, a woman with two kids in front of me, and again something moved out of the corner of my eye. Was I being paranoid? Was I losing my mind? No. No. The FBI had trained me for situations like these. You always go with your gut. My gut, at this moment, was letting me know that I could be in potential danger. And, if I was in potential danger that meant that so was Cass, so was Noah, and so was Olivia. My training kicked in and I pressed the button in my hand, unlocking the SUV once more. I opened the passenger door and fetch inside the glove compartment and reach upwards to a secret compartment for the gun. I shove inside my pant waistband and drape my shirt over it. I close and lock the vehicle once more and pace slowly to the entrance of the building. I walk to the desk where two men, who I had become familiar with in the past weeks were sitting, eyeing the monitors in front of them, "Keep an eye on who comes after me. I'm being followed by someone, just act as expected," they nod and continue with their work. I head to the elevator and punch the floor below Olivia's and two above it. The doors close and reopen on the floor below Olivia's and I hop off and rush down the hallway, making way to the where the stairs are located. I climb up to the second floor above Olivia's and rush down the hallway to where the elevator is. My heart is pounding in my chest cavity but I must remember my training and keep my composure. A stressed mind is not a great tool to survival. Once the elevator doors open I press Olivia's floor number and three mixed numbers of floors both above and below Olivia's. I exit in Olivia's floor and breathe, she could not smell the fear and adrenaline on me. I shake my head and knock twice on the door, Olivia opened the door and as soon as her eyes landed on me she spoke, "You're pale, what is going on?"

"When the kids go to sleep, please," I raise my stare to her.

She nodded and peeked outside before shutting the door behind me. I put the bag on the couch and I search for white and pink pajama joggers with the matching t-shirt, "Ready pumpkin?"

Cassidy nodded and I walked behind her, stopping in the middle of the hallway, "Olivia," she turned and I reached to my back, "lock this up with yours, please?" She looked at me confused and I pulled the gun around, pointing it downwards, with my index finger away from the trigger. Her eyes widened and she briskly walked to me, removing the weapon from my hand.

The look of horror across her face was an alarming one but I had promised her to explain everything once the kids were asleep, after all, it was a school night. I continue my walk down the hall to the bathroom where Cass awaited to be bathed. Spending this time with her allowed me to explore her personality a little more. We filled up the tub with water and added the soap, she stepped inside and sat, using the loofa to bathe herself. I splashed her face with water, being mindful of her eyes. She squealed and giggled, splashing me back. I laughed and wiped my face, grabbing the shampoo bottle and squirting some in my hand, lathering the red locks on the child's head. I rinsed it off and applied the conditioner, searching for where Olivia kept her supplies for Noah. I found the comb and combed through Cass' mane, detangling it slowly. I removed the cream from her hair and unclogged the tub, she stood and I wrapped her around in the towel, running my hands over the towel as I dried her. I offered her underwear and she slipped it on with ease. I pumped lotion into her small hands and she plastered it all over her belly. She giggled and rubbed the lotion all over her stomach and arms. As I handed her the pants and then the shirt, I could hear Olivia reading to Noah. I smiled and looked at Cass, taking the towel in my hands, proceeding to wring her hair out, making sure not tousle it further. I extended my arm and wiggled my fingers, she grabbed my hand and I lead the way to the couch.

"Story or cuddles?" I asked, just like I had when I stayed for bedtime at the group home.

"Cuddles," she stated and smiled, climbing onto my lap as I sat.

I wrapped my arms around her tiny frame and she yawned as she rested her head against my chest. I began humming a Spanish lullaby that my mother used to sing to both my sister and I. As I hummed, I swayed in rhythm and within minutes, Cass was fast asleep in my arms; her breathing slow and shallow against my own. I stopped my rhythmic humming but continued to sway. I feel soft padding behind me and I sit up straight, already on edge, my grip on Cass tightening by the moment, "She's asleep?"

I relax and ease my grip on the sleeping girl atop of me, "Yes."

Olivia makes her way around to me, "Ready to talk now?" she arches her brow, "You're pretty shaken up there," she reaches to touch my face gently.

I nod and attempt to remove Cass' limbs from around my body but every time I attempted to do so, she would tighten her grip on me, "Leave her," Olivia yielded, "she's ok babe."

I nodded and relaxed, "When I went downstairs to get Cassidy's bag, I felt someone following me," I looked at Olivia, her eyes widened in revelation, "I saw movement out of the corner of my eye… twice. I grabbed the gun and locked the SUV. I told the guys downstairs to keep an eye out. I hopped on the elevator and got off on the floor below us, I took the stairs up two floors above yours and rode the elevator down and pressed random floors for the cabin to go up and down."

Olivia breathed out, "Did you see anything else?"

I nodded, "Man: medium build, mid to late sixties, walking a dog to my far left. Woman: petite, early thirties, two kids: boys, five and ten playing roughly thirty feet in front of me."

Olivia took mental notes, "Do you know of anyone that might want to hurt you?"

I pondered on my life and hesitated, "Do you think this has something to do with Cassidy's case?"

"It is plausible," I conceded, "or it c—"

I bit my lip and held Cassidy close, "Or it could be what Mariel?" Olivia pushed.

I shook my head and looked up at the ceiling, "Babe," she lowered her voice scooting closer to me, grabbing my chin and turning my face towards her, "talk to me, please," she leaned her forehead against mine, "Is it the same guy who assaulted you?"

I shook my head, "No," I said so softly that if Olivia hadn't been as close as she was, she wouldn't have heard it, "it could be my sister's doing."

Olivia held my neck but leaned back, studying my face, "Your sister? What do you mean?"

I sighed and looked into those chocolate drenched eyes; so deep, so filled with love and concern, so expressive… "Olivia, what I am about to tell you, you cannot divulge to any one else, understood?"

"Jesus, Mariel, what is it?"

I sighed and shut my eyes tightly, slowly opening them, "Olivia, please."

"Yes, yes; what!"

"My name is not Mariel Marti," she hopped back on the couch, distancing her body from me, "Relax Olivia, I am cleared by the Bureau. Are you familiar with the surname 'Reyes'?"

She squinted and pondered, "Art galleries? Restaurants? The _Fes el bé_ Foundation? Yes, they are all over the Upper East Side, why?"

I nodded and grimaced, "My _real_ name is Victoria Thalia Paige Reyes, heiress to the Reyes fortune," I stared at Olivia, who had her mouth hanging open. I took her silence as a sign to continue, "I have a twin sister, that I'm sure you know, Vienna Carolina Sky Reyes."

"Wait, stop," Olivia ran her fingers through her hair, "Let's get this straight, your name is not Mariel Marti?"

"No," I said, feeling the tears threatening to fall.

"You are a Reyes?"

"Yes."

"The Bureau knows about your status but continued to employ you?"

"Yes."

"Why?" Olivia questioned.

I nodded, "I've been Mariel Marti since I was fourteen years old. I was placed under the care of one of my father's great friends. My twin sister attempted to murder me the night before our fourteenth birthday. My father found me bleeding slowly but profusely on my bedroom floor when he came to place my birthday present on top of my bed, like he did every year just so that we would wake up to them on the morning of our birthday. She stabbed me underneath my left breast; thankfully the blade hit one of my ribs and blocked it from puncturing my lung. My father rushed me to the hospital without the knowledge of my mother and my sister and there he contacted one of his colleagues and explained the situation that unfortunately no one explained to me until I was already in protective custody.

My mother always favored my sister; she's the oldest out of the two of us. As you may or may not have noticed, I favor my father but with my mother's features and my sister favors my mother completely. Uh," I rocked Cassidy but it was mostly for my comfort more than it was hers, "it all started when we turned thirteen and had our first debutante ball. My sister started saying all of these weird things, saying that she had descended from Venus her self and even though she had always been a pompous brat, that was still overreaching. Throughout the ball, a lot of the guys were drawn to her. I was obviously looking at the girls with the slightly provocative dresses. My parents ascribed it to the rebellious and controversial age but even after a few months after that, her behavior kept getting worse. She kept mentioning at school, during tutoring, at home, during social events that she was great and wonderful and that someone was _attempting_ to be her. Trying to steal her parents, her life, her fortune…" I shook my head and squinted my eyes as I recounted the events of my early childhood, "It was five months before our birthday when my parents took us both to a psychiatrist and we did a joint session and then a separate session for the each of us. The doctor diagnosed her with GDD—Grandiose Delusional Disorder—with secondary mania. But, I think she's misdiagnosed. Uh, after that she continued with therapy sessions but no medication was prescribed.

Her rants seemed worse with each passing day. They weren't frequent but when they happened she was always in a manic state. No one in my family had ever been diagnosed with a mental health disorder before, I mean, you had your cases of Alzheimer's but nothing within those lines. And, then it happened."

Olivia had her hands over her mouth, assimilating everything that I had just said. Her eyes were darting across my face, finding a spot to land them on, "Oh, Mare," she breathed out, her hands finding mine, "Have you had contact with your family since?"

"Only with my father," I grimaced, "My mother thinks I ran away and my sister has been trying to contact me for the past five years."

"How do you know is your sister and not somebody else?"

"Olivia," I scoffed, "we shared a womb, we communicated through stares, I could touch her a certain way and she knew exactly what was going on with me. Plus, she's made contact before."

"What? When?"

"Six years ago," I begun, "I was shadowing one of the doctors for the FBI and we had a long haul; I was sent home since I was still in school but, was interested enough and had history with the Bureau that they allowed me to be there. I decided to walk by Central Park, something I love doing to de-stress. I stopped at Turtle Pond and just thought about the many, many times Vienna and I enjoyed going to that pond and that's when we saw each other. She yelled my name and sought after me. The FBI, when I was placed in protection, had trained me. I had asked for training in the matter, I needed to feel safe after the incident with my sister; we both knew who we were, I didn't once waver.

After that, I had people following me and the Bureau caught up with it after I briefed my Marshall. They upped my Intel and were able to catch a PI but he was not budging. There was a kidnapping attempt towards me, my shadows were able to stop and apprehend the guy. And, now, we're back at playing games Vienna."

"You need to report this to your Deputy Chief, Mariel."

"And, I will, but not right now. Tomorrow, I promise Olivia," I looked at her, "I will never put any of you in harms way."

She ran her fingers through her hair "Are you still in WitSec?"

"Yes, officially."

"Are you even a real doctor?"

I giggled, "Yes, Olivia, I am. I have my degree and took my oath. Oh, and yes, the university issued one for Mariel Marti as well. They were completely aware of my situation."

She stood and pushed her hands into her pockets, "So, I am dating Victoria Thalia Reyes," Olivia quipped.

I scoffed and giggled, "No, you are dating Mariel Alexandra Marti; daughter of Miguel Marti, a widower after I was born. My father worked day in and out to put his only daughter through medical school and died before I could graduate with my Bachelors. I inherited his duplex in Midwood, Brooklyn that I remodeled after I got a job with the Bureau and even though I could've moved, I decided to stay and honor my father," I giggled as I finished my cover story.

"That's your cover story?" Olivia smiled as I nodded, "Who are you?"

I thought about that question, "I am Victoria Reyes _and_ I am Mariel Marti. I spent fourteen years as one and the other sixteen as the other. But, I remember being Mariel longer than I remember being Victoria," I looked up at her, "Who am I to you, Olivia?"

She looked at me and smiled and nodded, "Who else knows about this?"

"My Deputy Chief, my Marshall, a few suits… you, my _real_ father. He bought me the apartment; he put a few other and myself through college thanks to a bill he passed at the foundation when I "disappeared". The Bureau made sure I applied and once my father saw and recognized my name, he made sure the foundation covered all expenses, including room and board."

"Your father really loves you," Olivia said, "Is your sister the reason you went into psychology?"

"Yes, she is."

Olivia paced back to the couch and sat back down, "You said that you think she was misdiagnosed. What do you think she has?"

I bit my lip, "Delusional Misidentification Syndrome; it's an umbrella term. It's a psychopathological syndrome that includes one of four main variants and I believe my sister has two of them."

"Which are?"

"Capgras delusion and Subjective doubles."

"Why do you think so? Because of you being twins?" Olivia asked.

I nodded and cradled Cassidy closer to me. Olivia nodded and glanced at the wall that held her clock, "Baby, it's late; stay."

I shook my head and stood, wrapping Cass' gams around my torso, "No, Olivia; I could never put Noah and you in danger. At least in my apartment, I know my Intel is close. And, don't even worry about my car being bugged, I have drop-off points; same model, same make, same plate," I said, grabbing the duffel and looping it in my arm, "If it makes you feel better, you can walk me out. I'll call you as soon as the exchange is made and once I'm in, deal?"

She thought about it and acquiesced, "Fine," she left to the kitchen and found my gun. She brought it back and placed it on my back, placing a kiss on my cheek.

"Olivia," I sighed, smiling at the sweet gesture, "Grab my phone, press six, wait eight seconds, and hang up. Don't say anything."

She reached into my back pocket and did as asked. She placed it back in my pocket, her fingers lingering and tracing the soft leather of the thin belt I sported. I watched her intently, attempting to read her tells but she gave nothing, instead she shook her head and began walking. I followed her to the door and out where she knocked on her neighbors quickly and asked them to watch Noah for a couple of minutes whilst she escorted me out. Olivia came out with me, her hand on my back where my shirt protected the piece, in case something went down. She opened the door of the SUV where Cass' booster sat. I placed her in, buckled her, and hid the duffel underneath her. She accompanied me to the other side and watched me slip in effortlessly. I leaned in and captured her lips within mine, slowly easing into the kiss, our tongues lapping smoothly against each other, "Thank you, Olivia," I whispered against her mouth, kissing the corner before opening my eyes.

Her hand crept to my cheek, her thumb stroking my cheekbone, "Call me Liv," she said as she pulled back.

I smiled and shook my head, her body now standing outside of the SUV. I started the car and drove away slowly, looking through the rearview mirror for Olivia walking back into her building. Once I saw she was inside the glass doors, I sped up and made my way to the drop-off location. Once there, FBI personnel opened Cass' door and unbuckled everything, placing it into another similar black SUV. I handed them the gun, grabbed my belongings, and exited the car, quickly entering the next and making my way to my home. I texted Olivia a kiss emoji, just to let her know that I was all right and once I made it securely into my home, I texted a house one; she responded twice with a thumbs up and finally adding the phrase, 'good night babe'. I carried Cass down the hall and into my bed, since I didn't want to jump the gun in case the adoption fell through; I hadn't gotten her room prepared. I took a quick shower and snuggled up close to the small frame of the girl besides me, slipping into blissful sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Chapter 10**_

I woke up to something hitting me hard on the face; at first I thought it was Cassidy moving around the bed but then, she hit me again, this time harder, across my face, stomach, and chest. I opened my eyes to see Cassidy flailing her arms and legs at me, chanting 'don't touch me', 'please stop', and 'no' repeatedly, "Cass, Cass, sweetheart, baby, open your eyes. You're having a nightmare sweet pea, open your eyes," I pleaded with her as gently shook her.

Her body fought me, her nails digging at arms, "Cassidy, wake up!" Her forehead was clammy and her eyes tightly shut. I grabbed her and lay her across my lap, pushing her against my body, applying pressure to her back and chest, "Wake up sweet girl, I'm not going to hurt you," I mused to her as I continued to apply pressure to her body until she stopped.

Her little body went limp and then it shook, her arms surrounding my neck as she adjusted to straddle my lap, her legs tightening around my waist. She was sobbing uncontrollably, her body shaking as she cried on the nook of my neck. I could feel her lashes against the skin of my neck, I lay my head against hers, my hands rubbing her back, attempting to calm her down.

Once she finally calm down her body continued to heave and shake with remnants of her attack. I rubbed her hair and massaged her scalp, waiting for her to come to me, to open up to me, "I'm sorry," she whispered against my neck.

"Why are you sorry, Cassidy?" I asked softly.

"I said 'no'," she mewled, her arms tightening around my neck.

"Ok," I thought about how I could approach this, "Cassidy, can you look at me?"

She nodded and released my neck, her hands falling towards my front, "Were you not allowed to say 'no'?" She nodded, "Can you tell me why?"

Her eyes welled with tears and her lip trembled before she caught it in her mouth, "Cassidy, baby, you can tell me. I'm not going to be upset and I'm not going to punish you," I looked in her eyes, wiping a stray tear from her face.

"The men would come and t—touch me… d—down there," her tears fell quick and fast down her face, "I had to be good. I—I—I couldn't say no, Mama," she lunged towards me again me, "If I would tell no," she hiccupped, "they would hit me," she shook against my body, "and, and, and, and I couldn't breathe," she was beginning to hyperventilate.

"Ok, Cassidy, I need you to breathe baby," I took a deep breath, "Follow my breathing," I placed my hand on her back, rubbing circles between her shoulder blades.

She listened; she still hiccupped mercilessly, until her breathing eased, "Good job, sweet pea, good job." I relaxed my shoulders and rocked her side-to-side, humming the lullaby that my mother sang to us countless times throughout our childhood. As I hummed, I could feel her body relax into mine and I slowly sank on the bed, letting Cassidy remain atop my body for her comfort and piece of mind. I continued petting her hair, moving fiery locks away from her tear stained cheeks. Before I knew it, I fell asleep.

I feel soft kisses along my jaw and cheek, being peppered all over my face, "Mama," I hear faintly and softly, "Mommy," I hear again, this time closer accompanied by soft hands to my face, "Mama!" My eyes quickly flutter open and all I see are big brown eyes, tussled hair, and rosy lips curled into a smile, "Hi Mama, good morning."

I smiled and sat up against my headboard, pulling Cass up with me, "Good morning Cass," I pulled her in for an embrace that she graciously returned.

"Mama, I'm hungry," she said as she yawned against my chest.

"Alright, let's get up," I said, patting her back.

We bolted from the bed in a fit of squeals and laughter down the hall. We arrived to the kitchen and I picked her up and sat her up on my island. I opened the fridge door and eyed it carefully. I was still trying to figure out Cass' likes and dislikes; so far, she liked pizza, chocolate, and Chinese takeout. The diet at the group home was one pretty balanced but I never knew the specifics of it. She had no known food allergies so that was good. I decided to make breakfast bruschetta on avocado toast. I prepared the scrambled eggs and bacon and cut up the red and yellow peppers, the avocados, and the bruschetta bread. I had given Cassidy some yogurt to ease her appetite for a moment. I placed the avocado slices on the slices of bread and then the eggs with the bacon and the slices of peppers. Two for each accompanied with a glass of orange juice, "Alright sweet pea, dig in," I said as I placed the plate in front of her. I watched as she eyed the contents of the plate. She was searching for something and then it hit me, this is how they drugged her.

This is how they would get her to be complicit. I needed to prove to her that I was not going to hurt her, "Cass," she looked up at me and I picked up a bruschetta toast and bit it. She watched me chew and sip on my orange juice and she smiled, biting her lip as she, too, mimicked my actions and joyfully bit into her toast. She opened her eyes in delight and continued eating without much complaint.

When we finished our breakfast, I washed the dishes and picked up after ourselves. I told Cass our plans for the day, which included a doctor's appointment, a dentist's appointment, and a shopping spree. We cleaned up ourselves and as fall rolled around we bundled up a little better. Cass did not have much apparel for what the weather was predicting for the day but I managed to bundle her enough to get her through the appointments until our shopping spree came to. Obviously, I was wealthy but I could not dabble into family money. I had dabbled into my family's fortune in the past but my father and the Bureau had handled the financials for me to cover the costs of whatever it was I needed or wanted. This didn't happen often but when it did, my father had a habit of overdoing it. As I waited for Cassidy's dentist appointment to finish, I stepped away to call my Marshall.

" _Romo!_ " Marshall Luke Romo answered.

"Marti, patch me through please," I said.

I didn't hear anything else but silence and then my father's voice came through, " _Mi vida_ ," he expressed, " _It's been far too long since we last spoke, how are you?_ "

"Hi papa," I said, smiling to myself, "I'm good, I have a daughter now papa."

" _What? Victoria Thalia Paige, when were you pregnant? Why was I not notified?_ "

I rolled my eyes at my father's questions and the use of my name, "Papa," I said, sighing, "You cannot use that name, my name is Mar—"

" _Your name is Victoria Thalia Paige to represent what are family is, festive conquerors. And, your sister Vienna Carolina Sky represents where we are from, wine country and scholars. Not to mention, she honors your late grandfather. You do not tell me what your name is, I_ _ **know**_ _what your name is,_ " he grumbled in my ear.

"I know papa, I know. I'm sorry," I sighed, "I adopted a six-year-old girl. I met her after a narcotics raid was performed and she was brought to my precinct. She was not speaking to anybody, especially the men, she took to me; every time I needed to leave her, in order for her to stay calm and keep the trust, I had to give her something of mine. I fell in love papa, I am in love with this little redhead," I finished and smiled.

" _I can hear it in your voice, mi vida_ ," he conceded, " _How is she, mentally I mean?_ "

"Bent," I said quickly, "She doesn't remember most of it since they had her dosed up on crystal meth and other narcotics," my voice wavered and growled, "Papa, they abused her."

" _Physically?_ "

I nodded, realizing that he couldn't see me, "Physically. Mentally. **Sexually**."

" _Santísimo_ ," my father called, " _You will get through to her mi vida, I have faith in you. If anyone can, you can._ "

"Thank you papa," I smiled, "Hey, I have to go papa but, I need financials to buy her clothes, shoes, toys, books, _a bed_ … And, you know I hate calling you for assets but… papa, she has six pairs of underwear, two pair of socks, five shirts, two pairs of shorts, two pairs of jeans, and a set of pajamas. Before she was in my custody I got her shoes and a hoodie, this is not for me papa; it's for her."

I could hear my father smiling through the phone, " _I'll talk to Romo, you will have it within the hour. And, don't ever feel ashamed to come to me about your assets, Victoria, they are yours._ "

"I know papa, I know. I love you."

" _I will always love you more, mi vida. Take care._ "

The line went dead within seconds, "Dr. Mariel Marti?"

I looked up and saw the nurse peaking her head, "Yes?"

"Dr. Eaton would like a word," I nodded and followed the nurse.

In the room, Cassidy was sitting in the dental chair with a mouthful of gauze and cotton, she attempted to speak with her mouth like that, "Cass, baby, I can't understand _anything_ that is leaving and will leave your mouth," I giggled as she nodded, "What's this about doctor?"

"I found six untreated cavities and tooth decay that I only see with cocaine users, mind telling me what's going on here, Mariel?"

I sighed and blinked, "Jessa, what are you insinuating? You've known me since NYU, we were on the Volleyball team together for Christ's sake."

She sighed and sat on the moving stool, "Talk to me, please."

Cassidy could sense the hostility in the air and was already tense; I could see it in her shoulders. I walked towards her and sat, having her crawl into my lap almost immediately, "I just adopted her, Jess. When we met she had the vocabulary and speech of a four-year-old child, she was severely malnourished, squirrely, and sported _years_ of both sexual and physical abuse," Cass had shifted on my lap and was now pressed against my front, "She's six Jessa, explain this," I pointed at our bodies.

"Ok, ok," she said, raising her hands in front of her, "were there drugs involved?"

"You know I can't answer that, Jess. Don't push it."

"That explains a lot," she began, "I patched and extracted the cavities. She had a little gum swelling so she bled a lot but she still has a lot of her baby teeth still in due to the malnutrition. Once her diet starts coming around and she begins gaining weight, they'll start coming down. One of her permanent teeth was beginning to rot from the inside out but it was still premature so I was able to extract it and place a ceramic crown, you won't even know which one it is. I recommend soup for lunch, she'll be sore but she should be eating by dinner. No sweets for a week and I want to see her in three months."

"Fine, can she take the gauze out of her mouth?"

She nodded, "Cassidy, baby," she pulled back and looked at me through her lashes, "hey precious, walk over to Dr. Eaton so that she can take all that silly cotton out of your mouth," she hopped off my lap and began walking away, "Wait! Let's take a picture for Noah," I snapped a quick picture and let her walk back to Jessa.

Jessa removed the gauze and played with the ends of her pigtails, swirling the ends of one of them, enhancing the curl there, "Thank you Dr. Eaton," Cassidy politely said.

She turned and approached me as I stood, exiting the procedure room, "Thanks Jess," I called from the door.

We exit the office of my dear and esteemed friend and make our way to the SUV. Before approaching it completely I look at its surroundings, noticing my Intel close by but not suspiciously. One of them nods towards me and I know that it is safe to approach the vehicle without repercussions. I help Cassidy up into her booster and buckle her up and I make my way around to the driver's side. Starting the ignition and pulling away, I look through my rearview to speak to Cass, "Hey Cass?"

"Yes Mama?"

I smile, that word still gets to me, "How about we get some lunch and afterwards we can go shopping for you?"

"Am I getting new shirts?" she asked, fidgeting with the zipper of her hoodie.

"Yea baby, and new pants, jackets, socks, shoes… new everything. Even for you room."

"My room?" She asked, I could hear her voice wavering.

I looked through my rearview mirror, noticing the distressed look in her eyes, "Cass, slow down," I looked at my surroundings and pulled to the curb, placing the SUV in park, unbuckling, and hopping on the back seat, "Sweetheart, what's going on?"

She was fighting back tears but she was losing that battle quick and fast, "Bad stuff happens in my room. I don't want my room, I want to sleep with you."

"Oh, sweet pea," I reached for her cheek, clearing the tears that had fallen and threaten to fall, "Nothing bad will ever happen to you again as long as I live, ok? You will be safe with me, always."

She nodded, "Can I sleep with you?"

I nodded and smile, "Yes, for as long as you need but, Cass," I said searching her face, "I need to set up your room so that you can play in and change and do all of the things you need to. Like Noah…"

She furrowed her brow, the concept slowly sinking in, "Like a big girl?"

"Yes, yes; like a big girl," I played with her pig tails, "You can sleep with me as long as you need but, when you're ready, you have your own bed to go to baby, ok?"

She sniffled and nodded, a sheep smile creeping to her face, "Ok."

"How about we get lunch, go shopping, and then call Livia and see if we can pick up Noah and go for a milkshake?" I smiled and leaned in, close to her face and whispered, "It'll be our little secret."

She giggled and smiled, "Chocolate milkshake?"

I laughed and nodded, "What ever you want."

After another breakthrough with Cassidy, we had lunch at a little bistro on the Upper West Side. I tried to steer clear of the East side for purposes and reasons and the West side was prohibited but I could navigate it without raising an eyebrow. I had texted Olivia to ask permission to pick up Noah and take him for a milkshake alongside Cassidy and to meet in my home whenever she was off from work for dinner. She accepted both offers and I immediately texted her my address. I also briefed her on being approached by two men asking questions. I told my Intel as well that I was to have a visitor and identified her as Lieutenant Olivia Benson. As far as Cassidy's shopping spree, my father had once more, over done it. I received a text confirmation that money had been deposited into my account. When I checked my account balance, my father had sent and authorized a deposit of $2.2M. I nearly blew a vessel at the ridiculous large sum of money that had been deposited into the account. I had called Romo and we had our exchange of words but just like my father, he insisted that he only followed orders; no questions asked and had been ordered to relay that my father was not taking a 'no' for an answer. I did however, stock Cass' closet with apparel and shoes, pick up books and toys, as well as a bed, bedding, and decorations.

We picked up Noah and went about our way to get our milkshakes and afterwards I took them both home to play, do homework, and begin preparing dinner. Cass helped Noah—as much as she could—with his homework and afterwards, I set them to play in my living room whilst I prepared dinner for the four of us. My phone rang but the ringtone almost drowned in fits of laughter, light banter, and TV noise; it was Olivia, "Hey," I said, a smile creeping on my face.

"I think I got the wrong address Mare, are you sure you live here?"

I scoffed and laughed, "Walk in Olivia, apartment three-oh-three. I'll stay on the phone with you."

"Uh," she was hesitating, "Ok?"

I could hear her boots through the phone as they clanged against cemented stairs. It wasn't much later when I heard murmuring and Olivia answering, "Lt. Olivia Benson."

[…]

"Yes, my son is in there."

[…]

"SVU, I started as detective," Olivia laughs.

[…]

"Yes, I am aware of that. Thank you, you too!"

I chuckled, "Sorry about that, when I do order takeout, they are the ones to bring it up. Unless they come up with me, the interrogation is always part of it."

Olivia chuckles, "I felt like I was being interrogated by siblings before a date," she bursts into laughter that molds with mine, "I think I'm at your door… are you cooking? It smells divine."

"You'll find out, I'll get the kids to open the door," I hang up and call out for the kids, "Noah—Cassidy," they both looked up from what they were doing, "Mommy's at the door, go open up."

Both of their eyes lit up and they bolted to the door. I was standing by my kitchen island and had a clear view of my door. I knew nothing was going to happen, the place had multiple agents of the FBI and most of them had seen me grow up. Cassidy being slightly taller was the one that could reach the bolt and Noah opened the door.

Olivia had her hands pushed in her pockets and her face lit up once she saw the kiddos waiting for her, "Mommy," Noah squealed and dragged the last syllable for as long as he could. Olivia stepped inside and shut and locked the door. She kneeled and picked up Noah, peppering kisses all over his face. The curly haired boy squealed in joy, hugging Olivia by the neck.

She dropped Noah and kneeled in front of Cass, "Hi Mommy," Cass said and threw her self against Olivia, not allowing any reaction from the older woman. My eyes nearly bulged out of my face and Olivia's jaw almost touched the floor when we were able to lock eyes.

"Hi sweet girl," Olivia chuckled and laced her arms around the girl's body as she rose. Olivia walked over to me, the kitchen island separating our bodies, "Did you have fun with Mama today?"

Cassidy nodded, "We went to the doctor, the dentist—I had cotton in my mouth—and then Mama bought everything in the store," she said whilst she played with Olivia's necklace, "We had milkshakes and, and, and, I helped Noah with homework."

"You did?" She said, looking at me with her mouth agape.

Cassidy nodded, "Alright, Cass—Noah, wash hands, tushies in chairs at the table; come on."

Olivia let Cassidy down and both of them ran towards the bathroom. Olivia circled the island, "Dr. Marti," she mumbled, her arms circling my waist.

I smiled, leaning in to her, "Lieutenant Benson," my arms rose to her neck, leaning in to share a kiss. It was slow, lingering, and burning. And, just like that, the oven beeped, "Oh, God… Liv," my body was reluctant to be pulled out from the embrace.

"I know, I know; what's for dinner?"

"Lemon garlic chicken with spinach and brown rice," I said, running my hands down Olivia's arm, "I'm sorry about Cassidy, I told them 'Mommy is at the door'. I'm sorry."

She shook her head, "Stop, stop," she whispered, closing her eyes, "You did nothing wrong," she kissed my forehead, "We're affectionate with each other, it's normal. You know that."

I nodded and smiled sheepishly, blushing at Olivia's acquiescence, "Go, sit, I'll bring everything to the table babe," she opened her mouth to protest, "No, Benson; wash hands, ass on chair," I quipped and winked at her.

She conceded without much protest. Noah and Cassidy had returned from the bathroom and were sitting at the table and shortly after Olivia joined them. I could hear them talking and giggling from where I was standing, though I couldn't make out the exact topic of the conversation my heart swelled at the level of comfort that radiated from the dining table and through the kitchen. I prepared the plates and served the kids first, I walked back to the kitchen to grab their cups with grape juice. I returned to the kitchen and grabbed Olivia's and mines plates and with ease skill and balance, I laced the stems of two wine glasses through my fingers. Olivia eyes the plate and bites her lip in anticipation. I sit down and fetch the bottle of wine that sat on the middle of the table and poured Olivia and I a full glass. Noah had already started eating and it wasn't until Cassidy saw that both Noah and Olivia were eating and fully content, that she touched her food. I nudged Olivia and asked her to ask Noah to take a sip of his cup so that Cassidy could trust that nothing was in there and do the same.

Olivia was engrossed in the flavors, much like her son. Cassidy in the other hand ate slowly, "Cassidy, what's wrong?"

"It's Thursday," Cass said slowly.

"What happens on Thursday?"

Olivia and I looked at each other, Cassidy was clearly in duress, "Many men come to my room and if I eat too much, I'll throw up w—when…" she broke down in tears.

Olivia jumped up to console her; I held her arm and shook my head. Cassidy was opening up and as her mother, I needed to be able to help her if I understood what she had went through, "Cassidy, baby, talk to me," I leaned in, touching her arm slightly.

She looked at me, her lip quivering, "When they want to put it in my mouth," she whispered lowly.

I bit back my tears and stood, kneeling next to her, "Baby, it's ok sweet pea. Nothing will happen on Thursdays now. Every Thursday, Livia, Noah, you, and me are going to watch movies until we all fall asleep on the couch together, deal? I won't let nothing bad happen to you again Cassidy Jade, _ever_!"

She sniffled, her nose and cheeks pink like cotton candy, "I love you Mama," she said as she threw her self to me.

"I love you too sweet pea," I said, rubbing her back, "Now, eat, I have ice cream for the first one who finishes eating."

"Ice cream!" Noah yelled, digging his spoon in his rice.

"I'll win," Olivia spoke, swallowing her tears.

Cassidy giggled, "I'll win first!" she wiped her cheeks and ate with gusto now.

I sat back and saw as my three favorite people fought over who were the quickest. It was quite the fiasco, after they had finished eating almost at the same time. Once the kitchen was cleaned we were all upstairs, in the den, curled up on the couch against each other, watching movies and eating popcorn. It was a scenario and feeling I could easily get used to.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Chapter 11**_

"Mama, hurry, hurry; we're going to be late!" Cassidy shouted at me standing in front of the door.

"I'm coming baby," I yelled from the kitchen as I put away the final dishes, "we are not going to be late Cassidy, I promise," I finished as I looked at the little redhead clad with a blue cord jumper, white cotton 'Peter Pan' collared blouse, white socks, and navy blue cardigan. Thanks to some favors, I had gotten her in to Marymount School for Girls; though I would've preferred for her to go to Brearly but given the circumstances of my status, I could not. The Bureau had thrown a fit after finding out the location of the school but had agreed that when in the area, always to be escorted in and out of the building. I agreed without hesitation; I was not about to put Cassidy at risk just because of a caprice of mine.

I grabbed my purse and both of our light coats and Cassidy's hand, "Come on sweet pea, we'll do you hair in the car."

Crossing the threshold, "Mama," Cassidy spoke, "I want pigtails and my bow," she shows me the bow on her other hand.

I chuckle, "Alright sweet pea, I'll do that."

After I had told the Bureau what had happened outside of Olivia's apartment they had _insisted_ on driving me everywhere and not letting me out of their sight, though when with Olivia, they seem to fall back and trust that the Lieutenant would protect me. We sat in the back of the SUV whilst Marshall Luke Romo and Special Agent Melanie Ford sat in the drivers and passenger's side. Cassidy sat in between my legs and I parted her hair down the middle and then above her left brow, adding more hair to her right side. I tied her pigtails and slid the bow on her left side tail. I kissed her cheek and mounted her back on her booster. We rode in silence; Cassidy had a book on her lap and was mumbling the words easily and slowly. It was rather difficult to get her admitted to a school in the middle of October but after taking Cassidy to the school to have them evaluate her they had, collectively, decided that she would be a good fit.

We got to the school just as the bell was about to ring. Romo stayed in the SUV and Agent Ford accompanied us inside. Tinted black cars and protective detail was not exactly something foreign in the Upper East Side but it was something foreign for Cass, I had still not found the correct way to explain it to her _as her mother_. Again, the school's counselor knew somewhat about Cassidy's mental health and we had agreed on a plan of care for her in case there was a trigger or she got locked up within herself. We stood in front of Cassidy's home room, "Cass," I spoke softly, kneeling down in front of her, "this is your classroom."

She smiled, already missing one of her front teeth, her eyes beaming in contentment, "Ms. Morgan will be my teacher, right Mama?"

"Right baby, listen," I say, shaking my head to push my hair away from my neck, "if you get uncomfortable, or want to come home, or even if you feel like you cannot handle today; I want you to find Principal Mullins and tell her to call me. Ok?"

She nodded, "Yes Mama, I love you."

"I love you too," I lean in kissing her nose, causing a fit of giggles out of the girl.

I stood and patted her bottom, ushering her through the door with the rest of her classmates. I look through the door's glass window and notice her sitting down, interacting with a little raven-haired, brown-skinned girl, and I smiled; noticing the resemblance the girl bore to me. It was good that she was attempting to make friends with children her own age and aside from Noah; she really wasn't comfortable with any other person of the counter sex. She had barely begun to be more comfortable with Fin and Carisi and the only way that had happened it was because my constant visits at the precinct when helping with cases. My thoughts were broken as we exited the school by my ringing phone, "Marti," I answer, jogging down the steps, surrounding the back of the SUV and climbing in.

" _Hey Doc_ ," Carisi calls from the other side.

"Detective, how can I help you?"

" _Lieu wanted me to call you, we might need your expertise in profiling. We have a body_ ," he paused, sighing loudly, " _When could you come in?_ "

I looked down at my apparel, I was wearing jeans, heeled boots and a long sleeved sweater, "Uh," I pondered, "Give me an hour, I'll be there."

"What's going on, Marti?" Marshall Romo spoke, catching my eyes in the rearview.

I smiled and nodded, "Take me home, I'll change quickly. I am needed at the precinct."

"Case?"

"Yes, I am needed to profile," I say, looking through my emails.

"What's wrong with what you're wearing, Mariel?" Romo quips.

I scoff, "Luke, screw you," I gently chided, shaking my head.

Arriving at the precinct roughly an hour later all I could hear was commotion, loud blabber, and dull thuds. _What is going on?_ I cross the threshold, adjusting my pencil skirt and my long sleeve crème colored blouse, I walk in running my fingers through my hair. The detectives and their commanding office had their backs towards me, all engrossed on the screen in front of them all while Amanda explained her findings,

"Valerie Tompkins, fourteen, multiple stab wounds all seemed superficial. According to the ME, fatal stab wound was to her left lung. No fluids, fibers, or prints on our victim. We did find a card on top of her with some sort of poem? No prints on the card either."

"Who would have the guts to brutally murder a fourteen-year-old girl?" Fin pondered.

"What do we know?" Olivia spoke.

"Good kid, on the school's orchestra. No boyfriends, according to teachers at Notre Dame School, she was a brilliant kid and super sweet. Her parents never had problems with her or her siblings. She was found this morning after the school called her parents checking to see if she was all right. Apparently, she volunteered to prepare the school's theatre for tonight's recital," Carisi professed quickly, "Lieu, this girl is squeaky clean; she doesn't even have social media."

I see Olivia run her fingers through her hair as she turns, "Mariel," she sighs.

"I heard," I say, placing my purse on an empty chair, "Carisi," I walk towards him, "you said Notre Dame?"

He nods, "Why? What is it?"

"It's an all-girls college prep school on W 13th between eight avenue and Hudson. They are pretty hardcore there; it's Catholic," I turn and look at the rest of the detectives, "They have rivalry with Brearly…" I turn around and assess the board, "This carries a lot of rage, resentment…" I shake my head, "Was she raped?"

"No, she was bound, assaulted, and maimed," Fin added.

I bit my lip in thought, "We could be looking at both a male or a female. Maybe an ex-boyfriend or a boy who holds a grudge, maybe rejection; female prospect, jealousy, resentment, rage…"

"So, we're swimming blind here?" Olivia speaks in frustration.

"You mentioned a card with a poem? Where is it?"

As they shuffle for the evidence bag, Amanda was the quick one who handed it to me:

 _Victory to those who  
_ _Thoroughly are attentive to details,  
_ _Passionate, in all their pursuits  
_ _Rational, ever logical;  
_ _Or like the sea, she too will be undiscovered._

I read the lines over and over and over again, "You're looking for a female. Narcissistic, resentful, possibly someone who craves attention, someone close to the victim would be your best bet. Friend, cousin, sister… someone that holds longevity in her life."

"Fin, Carisi—go back to the school, talk to friends, teachers, anybody who will talk. Ask the hard questions to those girls, someone is bound to break. Rollins—you're with me; we are going to have a go at the parents and her siblings," she sighs as everyone disperses, "Thank you," she whispers as she briskly walks past me.

I smile and nod towards her; it's good to feel appreciated by the SVU team. I lingered around the precinct in case something else was needed of me. Lunch came by fast and whilst I nibbled on a piece of cabbage my phone began to ring, "Marti," I announce proudly.

" _It's Rollins_ ," the detective's slight southern accent rang through my ears.

"How can I help you Detective?"

" _Could you meet us at Notre Dame School? We need your help with something._ "

I chewed on my lip, was I really allowed that close to _known_ territory? Am I really going to be able to show up with my escort and not raise suspicions with the blonde detective? I mean, Olivia knew my status, she knew who I really was, she knew if I showed up with an escort and protective detail that they were just doing their job and to not be worry. I noticed that I had not answered Amanda, "Yes Detective, I am on my way."

I hung up and grabbed my light jacket from the back of one of the chairs and grabbed my purse as I exited the building. Marshall Romo and Agent Ford were leaning against the SUV, "Marshall, I'm needed in the Upper East Side."

"Is something wrong with Cassidy?" He asked; his concern was genuine.

I scoffed, "No, I think she'll be fine," I sighed and closed my eyes, "It's the case, Notre Dame School."

He opened his eyes, "Mariel, you are pushing it here. We are already going out on a limb here, it's not just your life it—"

"Don't you think I know that Marshall?" I was fuming. The reason I was granted such leeway within the program and its parameters it was because my father was funding my program. I was able to stay in New York; I was able to go to an expensive high school paid by my father through the program. I still followed the rules and I was very much cognoscente of what these people, all of them, were risking and doing just to protect my life. I was risking dozens of lives in lieu of mine, just one. "I am not fourteen anymore, Marshall. This is my job we are talking about here, do yours," I glared at him as I walked past him.

I knew I had been hard on the Marshall and maybe he didn't deserve that but now was not the time to preach to me about what was wrong and what was not. The Marshall and I had known each other for sixteen years. He was assigned to me when he started as an agent when he was twenty-five. He has always been like an older brother and now, well now, he was much worst. We rode in silence, the tension in the SUV cabin palpable and so thick that a butter knife could cut through it. Agent Ford did not say a word, she was new to my Intel and though I had always been polite to all of the agents that were assigned to me, they knew not to push my buttons when I was upset. We arrived at Notre Dame and both, Marshall Romo and Agent Ford accompanied me through the school grounds. Once Amanda saw them she was taken aback, "Fibbies already involved in this doctor?"

I smiled and shake my head, "No, uh, they're here for me. It's easier to believe that I am FBI when I have a Marshall and an Agent with me."

She nodded and eyed them, "Why am I here, Detective?"

"Oh, yes, follow me," she said, walking through the hallway and into a room where Olivia, a teacher or maybe a principal, and a student was there. Romo and Ford stood outside the door as we entered.

Olivia smiled at me, "Dr. Marti, this is Headmaster Connors," she motioned to the older, graying blonde woman, "and this is Stella Banks, she was one of Valerie's friends."

"Headmaster," I nod to the woman, "Stella," I nod towards her as I take my seat next to Olivia, "My name is Dr. Mariel Marti, I am a psychologist with the FBI," I pause, showing her my shield and official FBI ID card, "are you ok if we talk for a little bit? Maybe I could ask you some questions?"

She nodded, "Do you need me to call your parents or are you ok with Headmaster Connors being here?"

"I'm ok," her voice was sweet but it faltered.

I nodded, "Can you tell me about your relationship with Valerie?"

"Yea, uh," she begun, "we've known each other since the third grade. I moved here when I was eight from New Mexico. She was the first person that was nice to me. We met in our neighborhood."

"Oh, uh, excuse me, I have to take this call," Olivia uttered quickly as she stood.

I nodded, smiling at the Lieutenant, "Have you always gone to school together?"

"No," she cleared her throat, "I went to P. S. one-fifty eight. W—We met at the park."

I nodded and smiled, "Did you get a scholarship to attend Notre Dame?"

"I'm not sure how it all works but her father, Mr. Tompkins, he got me here."

"When was the last time you saw Valerie?"

"The night before," she wringed her hands, "she was helping me with our math midterm."

Olivia returned, her hand on my shoulder as she leaned to whisper in my ear, " _The ME found traces of 17018992, Rimmel Lip Gloss. It wasn't hers, the only makeup items recovered were strawberry Chap Stick._ "

I tilted my head to look at Olivia and bit my lip, "What kind of relationship did you have with Valerie?" I leaned in, beginning with the harder questions.

She opened her eyes wide, turning to look at her Headmaster, "W—what do you m—mean Dr. Marti?"

I recognized that look, "Exactly what I asked Stella."

The girl was starting to get flustered and begun stammering, "W—What are you insinuating? I d—don't under—stand."

"Stella, Stella," I coaxed, "Tell me two things you can touch right now?"

She was breathing hard and her eyes watered, "C—chair," she breathed out, "D—desk."

"Good girl, good," I stood and circled the desk behind the Headmaster, "Now tell me two things you can see."

Her eyes darted around the room, "S—shadow box," her breathing began to ease, "you," she sighed.

"Deep breath in," she followed, "and out," she complied. Her anxiety attack had ceased, "Stella, tell me, what kind of relationship did you have with Valerie?"

"I _thought_ she was my girlfriend," she muttered under her breath.

"You thought?"

She nodded, "That night, we were studying at my apartment and I kissed her because I had received a call from someone saying that she had feelings for me. When I did, she pushed me and yelled at me."

"How did that make you feel?"

"Like shit!" She shouted, "She looked utterly disgusted," she shook her head, "She left after that and that's the last I saw her," she looked up at me and then back at Olivia, "I did not kill her, Christ!"

"Ok, ok," I conceded, rubbing my brow, "No one here believes that, Stella."

"Yes sweetheart," Olivia added, "I called Dr. Marti because you were really nervous to talk to me and you were reluctant. You are not in trouble here."

She nodded, "May I go now?"

"Yes Stella, thank you for talking to police and being honest," the Headmaster spoke.

As Stella left, Amanda handed Stella her card and told her that if she remembered anything to give her a call. Olivia handed a card of her own to the Headmaster and as did I. I looked at the ladies and we walked out of the room. We did not want to say anything in front of the "fibbies" so we all just silently eyed each other and silently agreed that we would talk at the precinct. I nodded towards them and watched them leave. I shared my glance with Romo and Ford and they knew that I was ready to walk out and taken back to the precinct. As we rode back to the precinct in agonizing silence I thought about the session with Stella. Yes, she was angry. Yes, she was upset. But, did she really have it in her to kill her best friend just because of a rejected kiss, a rejected feeling? I didn't think so. She didn't have it in her. I've been around killers; she did not have that in her. Though, my sister did not have it in her and she attempted to murder me.

At the precinct we shared what had happened in the session. She didn't seem psychotic or neurotic, she was just nervous and she was dealing with unrequited feelings towards her recently murdered crush. Her feelings wouldn't be a vestige for a long, long time. God knows if she would be able to ever act on those feelings again; just because of what happened with Valerie. Alas, no one can hold Valerie's reaction against her. No one knows how to react in moments like those. It is always hard, especially if you've never had the feelings manifest before. It's a harsh and rude awakening. We discussed it all. Possibilities, other suspects, other profiles but everything came back to my original profile and that's the one that we were sticking with.

Six in the afternoon arrived quickly that day. I had enrolled Cassidy in after school extracurricular activities. I wanted her to bond with her fellow classmates and to actually exist outside of the precinct, our home, and Olivia's home. She needed to find other outlets and places to call her own. As her mother I believed that to be the best decision for her. We were still at the precinct when Marshall Romo and Agent Ford had gone to pick up Cass from school. Being seen twice throughout the Upper East Side in a day was enough for the day. Roughly twenty-five minutes later, we're still discussing the case and possible perpetrators and profiles I hear the soft and fast approaching footsteps of a running body, "Mama," comes the shrieking voice of Cassidy.

I turn just in time to pick her up, "Hi baby," I kiss her nose and wrap her in an embrace.

"Hi Mama," she muses, her legs wrapped tightly around my torso.

"How was school Cass? Did you like chess?"

"Yes," she squeals as she throws her head back, "Lily and I are in chess together and, and, and we're together with Ms. Morgan."

"Who's Lily?" Olivia asks, walking into the room after having to excuse her self.

"Mommy," she yells, dragging that last syllable out; eliciting stares from the entire squad.

Olivia reaches for her and we exchange her in our arms, "Hey there sweetheart, how was school?"

"Good, Lily is with Ms. Morgan and we take chess together after school."

"That's good Cass, I'm glad you're liking it honey," Olivia taps her bottom and sets her on the ground, "Going home now?"

"Yes, I have homework," Cass says as she beams at us.

"That's my cue guys," I say whilst gathering my belongings, "Do not hesitate to call me if you need anything," I finish, playfully scolding the detectives.


	12. Chapter 12

_**Chapter 12**_

Thanksgiving was at the end of the week and both Cassidy and Noah were already off from school. Olivia had been invited to a Thanksgiving dinner at one of her old friends and that invitation had been extended to me. Like many of the nights since I had brought Cassidy home, we shared a bed. Three weeks ago, when she started school, she had begun to sleep in her bed but some time during the night, she would make it into mine. We would talk about her nightmares and her insecurities and as her mother, we were both able to go through it and overcome it, together. It is surprising how a little bit of love, tender care, and consistency does to a child. She was not hesitating any longer when it came to food served to her, she was still wary of men but was more welcoming around constant male figures that she had contact with almost daily, and she was less jumpy with sudden movements or noises. All in all, she was making progress. Slow, but steady progress.

"Mama," Cassidy breaks my thoughts.

I look down at the waking form that lain flush to my side, "Hi sweet pea, good morning."

"Good morning," she said, sitting up and running her hands through her face, "I'm hungry."

"What would you like to eat?"

"Yogurt bowl!"

"Again?" I ask, chuckling. Cass' favorite breakfast had become anything with assorted fruits.

She nodded and smiled. She was missing her two front teeth already and it was the sweetest sight I had ever seen. I ruffle her hair some more, "Alright then, let's put our hair up first, huh?"

I grab two hair ties, one for me and one for Cassidy. I bring all the hair on her head to her crown and tie it in a topknot and I do the same for mine. We walk to the kitchen and I pick her up to sit atop the kitchen island. I grab two bowls from the cupboard and fill them with vanilla Greek yogurt. I slice some bananas, strawberries, and cranberries and divide them into the two bowls, adding blueberries to the process. To top it off, I add peanut butter and agave accompanied with a glass of water. We ate in silence and comfort. I was still on leave from the Bureau but on call with SVU, my mornings and afternoons with Cassidy were ones I'd come to cherish and enjoy greatly. Who knew that bringing a child into one's life would be of such gratitude?

My phone chirps loudly, "Marti."

" _I_ _see_ _you_ _are_ _up_ _early_ _as_ _well_ ," Olivia chuckled, " _Good_ _morning_ _Doctor_."

I hum in response, "Good morning to you too Lieutenant, how are you this morning?"

" _Sore, tired…_ " she yawned, " _I took the day off to take Noah shopping for Thanksgiving dinner at Alex's. I was wondering if you'd like to come too?_ "

"Need coffee Liv?" I chuckled, "Actually, yes. I bought Cassidy lots of clothing but forgot party attire."

" _Meet in… let's say an hour?_ "

I glance my surroundings, "Make it hour and a half and you got yourself a deal."

I hear Olivia chuckling on the other side, " _You got it babe, you'll pick us up?_ "

"That I will."

" _See you then baby._ " The line went silent shortly after that.

"We're going out Mama?" Cassidy asks mid-bite.

I nod, "But we have to finish first Cass, then shower, teeth, and I'll have clothes for you ready so that you can get dressed while I take a shower, deal?"

She nodded and smiled.

Roughly an hour and fifteen minutes later we were on our way to Olivia's apartment. They had let me drive since I was going to be accompanied by the Lieutenant. In the trunk of the SUV I had been carrying an extra booster seat for Noah so that Olivia didn't continue to take hers out of her car. I dressed Cassidy in black jeggings, crème color sweater, and some burgundy Dr. Marten's. The temperature was in the mid forties and though not completely cold, it still felt chilly out. We pulled up in front Olivia's building and she was already waiting outside with Noah. I took a deep breath and watched the jean-clad woman, sway her hips to the other side of the SUV and mount Noah into his booster. Cassidy squealed at the sight of Olivia and Noah was easily just as excited when he saw Cassidy and I.

We drove to the nearest kid's stores in Manhattan, exploring all of our options, "Do you have something to wear, baby?" I asked Olivia, quickly glancing her way.

"Uh," she rubbed her hands against her thighs, "I bought this skirt a couple of months ago and I haven't had a chance to wear it. What about you?"

I nodded and bit my lip, "I'm wearing my graduation outfit."

Olivia laughed heartily, "It fits?"

I opened my mouth feigning shock and hurt, "What are you implying, Lieutenant?"

Olivia raised her hands in front of her chest in surrender, "I'm pleading the fifth on that one," she chuckled.

"Mama," I hear Noah speak so I remain quiet, awaiting the exchange between mother and son.

"Yes, Noah," Olivia spoke.

"Mommy, I wasn't calling you. I was calling Mama," I tensed and glanced at Olivia who had her mouth shaped like an 'o' as she nodded to me.

I blinked fast in flutters, "Uh," I cleared my throat, "yes sweet boy."

"I'm hungry, could we eat sandwiches?"

I look through my rearview, catching Noah's blue colored eyes and Cass' chocolate ones. I smiled, "Yes baby, we can."

"Thank you Mama."

"Thank you Mama."

Noah and Cassidy parroted each other.

* * *

Thursday arrived quickly. I woke up early to bake two apple pies as requested by Olivia per Alex. Whoever this Alex was, he apparently loved apple pies. Olivia usually bought them at the bakery but I told her that I was able to make them from scratch. It was roughly seven in the morning when I begun the preparations of the pies. I was playing soft music and sipping on some tea. I heard soft thuds against the wood flooring, a very sleepy Cassidy stood at the end of the hallway, "Mama," she spoke softly as she rubbed her eye.

"What's wrong Cass?" I say, approaching her.

She yawned, "You weren't on the bed."

"Oh baby," I mumble, picking her up. Her body gave in to mine and she quickly laced her legs around my torso and her arms around my neck, "Come on, let's go to the den. We'll stay there for a while."

I walked to the end of my living room and climbed the spiral stairs that lead to the den. The den had been my second home on long nights. It's where my desk was, where Cassidy did her homework and where she played with Noah and Lily whenever they came over. The morning had barely begun to settle but it was trying to make its way to the small area. We sat on the sectional whilst the pies baked. I made two salted caramel apple pies that each took roughly about ninety minutes to bake and about four to cool down. I hadn't notice that I had drifted off until I heard the ping of the oven radiate through the silent apartment. Cassidy's head was on my lap, slowly I eased her off and lay her down and ran downstairs to check on the pies. They were fully baked and now needed to cool.

The apartment smelled divine, I couldn't wait for every one to taste them. Baking these apple pies made me remember one particular Thanksgiving when I was thirteen. I was at my best friend's and first crush's house. Her mother was baking apple pies, similar to the ones I had made. She was _the_ most beautiful girl I had laid eyes on. And, according to my father, she suffered miserably my supposed disappearance. From time to time, I asked my father about her family and her, he didn't know much about her but he knew that her family had signed various grants and bills for runaways through The _Fes el bé_ Foundation.

I walked to Cassidy's room and searched for the ensemble that I had bought for her earlier in the week. I needed to iron her skirt and shirt before she could wear them. I still remembered the teachings that my mother had fought so much to instill into both my sister and myself. It was already ten, I made my way back to the den; Cassidy's fiery locks were sprawled all over her face. I smile and approach the girl, kneeling besides her, and pushing my hand through face, pushing her hair away. She stirred and groaned as she fluttered her eyes open, "Hey sweet pea, breakfast?"

She smiled her missing teeth smile and nodded. She got up and accompanied me downstairs where we enjoyed quiche in a mug. A quick and easy recipe of spinach, cheddar cheese, tomatoes and eggs that took five minutes in the microwave and usually, I would have to make two for Cassidy since she enjoyed it so much. We sat on the couch and watched cartoons for about an hour and then it was time to start getting ready. The dinner was scheduled at three and I had to pick up Olivia as well. Cass and I finished our breakfast and I lead her to the bathroom. I washed her hair and played with her during bath time. Once done, I helped her get dressed. I had picked out yellow tights, with a navy single-pleat skirt, a navy and white patterned Peter Pan collar shirt, and a yellow knit heavy cardigan. Her hair looked even more orange with the yellow accents on her body. I parted her hair over her left brow and braided the front and pinned it with a small yellow bow. I kissed her cheek and told her to sit down with a book or to watch TV whilst I showered and dressed.

I followed the same routine that I had with Cass. My hair, since it was longer, it took me longer to dry it. My hair naturally curled at the ends and I left it like so, with loose soft body waves and I clad my body with a teal below the knee dress with pink carnations all over and paired it with my pink below the knee coat. I quickly applied make up and by the time we left the apartment, we had an hour to pick up Olivia and head over to upper Manhattan. I was driving again, just because I was going to be with the Lieutenant but I was going to switch seats with Olivia so that she could drive to her friend's home.

"I'm outside baby, you're good to drive." I said through my phone speaker once Olivia answered her phone.

" _We'll be down in two minutes._ "

Two minutes it was when I see Olivia, the breathtaking Olivia Benson. She was wearing a red mid-calf skirt with a flower print above the underlying fabric of the skirt with a white high-neck shirt tucked inside the skirt with rose gold strappy heels. That skirt sat exactly where it needed to accentuate her curvy figure. Her hair was parted down the middle and it was straight down her shoulders, she looked like a vision and I was in love. _Whoa, in love Marti?_ Then I saw Noah, Cassidy and him were matching in colors, it was completely adorable. He was wearing a long sleeve light yellow button down with dark wash skinny jeans and a navy bowtie with matching suspenders. Olivia strapped Noah in his booster and he greeted Cassie, as he liked to call her and squealed the word 'Mama' with such jollity that it made my heart swell.

Olivia and I kissed, slow and lingering before we broke apart, "That was nice," Olivia whispered against my lips.

"There's more where that came from Lieutenant," I said quickly before capturing her lips in a quick chaste kiss that turned into two and then three and then an air sucking, lung burning, searing kiss. My body craved this woman but in the cabin of this car we needed to keep it in our pants. I rested my forehead against hers and breathed out, "We're going to be late, Liv."

"Shit!"

I giggled quietly as Olivia pulled forward.

The drive to the Upper West Side was a little challenging. It was Thanksgiving and we had to be mindful of closed roads for the parade and major traffic in New York. We made it within a nick of time and once we found the guest parking spots in the underground garage we made it to the correct floor. The kids mounted off the elevator first, Cassidy was following Noah who apparently had been here before. Olivia and I walked a few steps away from each other and I was not complaining from the view that I had. I did have to behave myself since I was carrying the pies in my hands. Noah knocked on one of the doors and when it opened he glanced back to Olivia and I. Olivia nodded and Cassidy smiled at me awaiting my permission and I nodded towards her as well. Olivia and I were steps away and made it inside the beautifully decorated apartment. This person came from money, they understood art and daintiness; the place was obviously decorated by a woman, not a man.

A familiar smell clogs my nostrils as I divest Cassidy and myself of our coats. _Where have I smelled that before?_ A sweet voice yells out for Noah, _I recognize that voice but, from where?_ Olivia disappears behind a wall to hug a woman. I can tell is a woman because I could see her red Jimmy Choo high-heel pumps. I am hanging Cassidy and Noah's coat on the designated place by the door, alongside mine while I try to place the voice.

" _Liv, I am so glad you made it! You look beautiful might I add_ ," she knows Olivia, that I know, " _And, this little guy keeps getting even more handsome every time I see him._ "

Cassidy makes her way to Olivia, " _Olivia, who is this beautiful bumble bee?_ "

"Uh," she says, grabbing Cass' hands, "this little sweet pea is Cassidy Jade, she's our daughter."

" _Our?_ " Who is this woman and where have I heard this voice!

Olivia nodded and smiled, "Baby?"

"Uh, yea?" she snapped me harshly out of my thoughts.

She extended her arm to me and I walked towards her, hiding my face with my hair. We kissed quickly, looking into each other's eyes when she spoke, "This is Dr. Mariel Marti, forensic psychologist, FBI," she smiled and turned her head to the woman in front of us, "And, this is—" when I turned I saw her.

It was she. The same her that was my best friend at Brearly, the same her that I had a crush on, the same her that my father said couldn't handle my disappearance, it was her, "Alexandra Cabot," I breathed out, my body tensing, and my eyes wide in surprise.

"Victoria Reyes," our bodies were tensed. We were frozen in time. Her steely blue eyes were as piercing as the first day as we laid eyes on each other. Her body was clothed in a metallic gold knit ribbed midi dress, a diamond bezel necklace, and she had a gold tribar cuff on her left arm. She looked beautiful.

She began closing the gap between her body and mine but Olivia stepped in my eye view, I could see her mouth moving but I could not hear anything. All I heard was faint steps, my body moved unwillingly, the kids had dispersed, and someone had sat me down, "Alex."


	13. Chapter 13

_**Chapter 13**_

"Who else is coming here, Alex?" Olivia shouted.

"The squad, Casey, Abigail, Serena—the family, Liv," Alex mused, "Just because I'm Bureau Chief of Homicide now, does not mean I've befriended everyone."

"Mariel," Olivia addressed me, "Mariel, baby, please talk to me. I know you can hear me."

She was right, I could hear her but could I respond and process everything? No. Not at the moment I couldn't. Alexandra Cabot was standing in front of me looking like the goddess she has always been and I could not function, "Do you want to go home?" Olivia paused and searched my face, "Alex, I'm taking her ho—"

"No," _I found my voice, Praise the Lord!_ "I want to stay," I looked up between Olivia and Alex, "This is Cassidy's first Thanksgiving, Liv. I don't want to ruin this for her," I looked at my hands, surprisingly I was still holding the pies, "Alex," her name felt like smooth bourbon on my tongue, I handed her the pies, "I made them just like Clara did."

"Salted caramel apple pies?" she scoffed and smiled, "Thank you Victoria."

I cringed at the mention of my name, "Mariel, Alexandra; my name is now Mariel."

She furrowed her brow, "I presume there's reasoning behind that?"

"There is, but now is not the time. _After_ the dinner has concluded, the guests have gone, and my children have settled, we," I motioned between the three of us, "will have a conversation and I will answer all your questions Alexandra."

She smirked and nodded, "Yes doctor."

After my slight meltdown the guests started arriving. I knew the squad already; Fin, Carisi, and Amanda were there. There was a beautiful redhead whom was introduced to me as Casey Novak, Executive Assistant District Attorney; there was a handsome raven-haired, tanned beauty by the name of Abigail Carmichael, Assistant US Attorney; and another blonde, Serena Southerlyn, Assistant District Attorney. The dinner went by effortlessly, we laughed, ate, exchanged stories, and everybody fell in love with the salted caramel apple pies that Alex so graciously complemented with a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream. After seven, Alex's apartment had been cleared of all the adults and it was only the kids, Olivia, her, and I.

"Cassidy," I called out to the hallway and watch her approach me. I scoop her up and walk her to Alex, "This is Alex, can you say thank you to her for having us over and let you watch TV and play with her iPad?"

She nodded and smiled, "Thank you Alex."

"Oh, you're welcome sweet girl," Alex said, fixing her skirt, "Your Mommy has taught you well."

"That's Mommy," she pointed at Olivia, "this is Mama," she said, petting my hair.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Alex smiled, "then, you are very pretty, just like Mama," she said, whispering close to Cassidy.

Cass giggled, "Thank you."

I shook my head and set Cass down, "Go with Noah, if any of you need anything, let me know," she nodded and she ran off.

Olivia handed Alex and I a glass of wine and we went and sat down at the couch. Olivia returned with her own glass and the bottle, she knew and had a feeling that Alex and I were going to need it, "How do you two know each other?" I said with a sigh.

"Liv and I worked Special Victims when she was a Detective. I was their prosecutor and we dated for five years whilst I was still their prosecutor."

Olivia hid behind her wine glass and I smiled, "How do you two know each other?" Olivia asked sheepishly.

I looked at Alex, "We attended Brearly together. Alexandra was my best friend and my first crush, though back then, I didn't know she shared my sapphic feelings."

"What happened to you Victoria? You disappeared on your fourteenth birthday. I had my father hire private investigators to hunt you down, you disappeared Tori. I was torn," her eyes welled with tears.

I ran my thumb underneath her eye to wipe away the tears that threaten to fall, "Vienna stabbed me underneath my left breast the night before our birthday. Thankfully she hit a rib and it prevented the knife to reach my lung. A year prior, Vienna was diagnosed with Grandiose Delusional Disorder with secondary mania but I believe she has been misdiagnosed. Papa found me on the floor of my room, slowly bleeding out. He took me to the doctor where they were able to stop the bleeding and when I came to, I told him what had happened. He knew that for my safety it was best if we would all pretend that I had ran away. I was placed in Witness Protection and Papa used his money to fund my program indefinitely."

Alex shook her head, "Vienna did what?" her nostrils flared, I knew that look, she was upset, "Where did you go Victoria?" she said grabbing my hand.

"Remember my aunt Gloria and my uncle Roman?" she nodded, "Well, I went to live with them on Lake Placid in the Adirondack Mountains. I went to Northwood up there," I paused and smiled, "Lexie, you would've loved it there in the winter," I muse quickly and shake my head, "Whilst I was in high school, Olivia," I mentioned her name since she didn't know this part of my story, "my cover story was that my parents died in an accident and it was either go back to Spain with other family members or to the lake. They took care of me really well, I helped around in the cellar with the wine and they understood that Mariel Marti was in order to keep me protected and alive.

Now, Alex," I swallowed and took a sip of my glass, "I am Mariel Marti, NYU graduate, daughter of Miguel Marti. I grew up in Brooklyn and before I could graduate, my father died and left me his duplex. For sixteen years I've been Mariel, it's what my diplomas say, it's what I know."

"If you're in Wit Sec, why are you here, in New York?" Alex asked.

"My father is funding my program, you know how deep his hooves go. Plus, I took interest in psychology when the Bureau kept sending me for the monthly evaluations. I told my Marshall then that I wanted to work with the FBI and they allowed me to watch and shadow on my junior and senior year of high school. I studied for it, I graduated, and now I work for them."

"Are you still in the program?"

I nodded and sipped from the glass, "Yes, she's made contact a couple of times, there was an attempted kidnap made against me, and now, she's at it again."

"You think Vienna is making contact?" Alex was dumbfounded, "Olivia, how are you not flipping shit right now?"

"I already did that, she told me," Olivia said whilst smiling.

"I know she's making contact Alex, I can feel it in my being. We shared a womb; I think I would know if it's her. Have you had contact with Vienna?"

She hesitated, "We saw each other a few times after your disappearance, she was torn, well she looked torn," she bit her lip, "Wait, you said misdiagnosed, what do you think she has?"

I scoffed and placed my glass on a coaster pre set on the table, "Delusional Misidentification Syndrome."

"Jesus Tori," she squeezed my hand.

"Mama," came Noah through the hallway.

"He calls her Mama?" Alex asked Olivia. Olivia nodded and hummed in response.

"Yes baby?"

"My tummy hurts and I can't go to the bathroom," he was clutching his stomach. He was constipated, I had the perfect remedy and I knew Alex had the ingredients I needed for it.

"Ok, buddy, where does it hurt?" I began touching his stomach and immediately felt it and him wince, "Ok Noah, do you trust me to not hurt you?"

He nodded, "Ok, good," I kissed his cheek, "Alex, I need castor oil, orange juice, and hot water please," she nodded and quickly stood, "Noah, go sit with Mommy, I'll bring you back what you need to take, ok?"

I knew Alex had castor oil; it's how her hair grew so fast. She quickly fetched the contents and put her kettle on the stove. I walked to the kitchen whilst Olivia sat with Noah. The physical pull between Alex and I was immediate and palpable, my skin vibrated and radiated whenever in her reach. Our breaths hitched and our hearts quickened. I could feel the angst course through her body. I wanted to hold her, to kiss her, to let her know that she was not dreaming any of this. She had finished pouring orange juice into a cup when I grabbed her wrist and flushed her to me.

She squealed and when my arms wrapped around her frame, I could feel her trembling, not breathing, "Alexandra," I whispered to her hair, "this is real. I'm here," I felt her arms around my waist and her body shaking and heaving against mine. It was settling, all of her emotions coming at once; she was sobbing against my shoulder, her face buried in my hair. She held me tight as she shook, "Easy, Lex," I petted and kissed her hair, "easy." The kettle was the one that broke us apart. She poured three parts hot water and one part cold water.

I poured a teaspoon and a half into the orange juice of the oil and mixed it. I walked back with Alex as she cleared her face of remnant tears, "Here baby, drink the orange juice," I handed him the cup and he sipped it without effort. As we waited, Cassidy arrived, "Mama," she said, climbing into my lap, "what's wrong with Noah?"

I smoothed her skirt over her legs, "His stomach is feeling funny, how are you?"

"Ok," she nodded and leaned into me, playing with my watch.

"When did you have her?" Alex said quietly.

I chuckled and petted Cass' hair, "Uh, she's adopted. When I first got her, she had the speech of a four-year-old, this is six month progress."

"She resembles you," Alex said, petting Cass' leg.

I giggled and looked over at Noah and Olivia; fifteen minutes had already passed and I instructed Noah to sip carefully on the hot water and that in about ten minutes he should feel the urge to go. He did and he was ecstatic once it worked. They settled with us on the couch as we all continued to catch up. By the time we looked at the time, it was already a little after eleven at night. We stood and bid our farewells to the blonde. Olivia walked in front of me with Noah pressed to her, she leaned and Alex captured her mouth in a chaste kiss. I noticed that it was something they were used to and that it meant nothing sexual or within those guidelines. Olivia smiled and kissed her forehead as she walked to the door. I approach Alex and give her a warm smile, she smiled back and hesitated but she leaned in and captured my lips within hers in a burning kiss. Our lips didn't move they just enjoyed the closeness and proximity of each other. Her lips were soft and tasted of wine and cherry gloss. We parted and she smiled as I kissed the corner of her mouth. Olivia opened the door and we made our way downstairs to our car.

* * *

We made it back to my apartment where Olivia had started keeping some belongings. The only way Cassidy would sleep throughout the entire night is when Noah and her had sleepovers on the floor. We lay them down to sleep after quickly changing them into their pajamas. Neither of them stirred, they were so tired and stocked with their meals that we knew they weren't going to wake during the night. Olivia made it to my room first and a few minutes later, I was there with her. She had shed her skirt and shoes and was now sitting on the bed, her hands ran through her hair in frustration, "Mare," she begun and I automatically held my hands up in front me blocking her from saying anything else. I shed my shoes quickly and shut the door behind. I paced to Olivia, running my fingers through my hair, "I don't want to talk anymore, Liv," I say, barely a whisper, "please, I just want you," I finished, running my fingers through her hair, looking down into her eyes as I settled between her legs.

She nodded and closed her eyes and before she had a chance to open them, my lips crashed into hers in a searing and longing kiss. Our mouths moved in unison, her tongue asked for permission and my mouth granted access. I moaned into her mouth as her hands searched my bottom and squeezed. My hands trailed her torso and found the hem of her shirt, our faces parting just so that I could remove Olivia's top. My mouth immediately found her pulse point and I sucked and bit the area, soothing it with my tongue, "Fuck Mare," Olivia elicited, her body giving in to mine. My hands frantically roamed her body, wanting proximity and intimacy, "Liv," I moan, feeling her hands trailing my upper thigh in close encounter with my sex. My hands found Olivia's bra strap and quickly took it off and my mouth was at her nipple, viciously attacking the erect bud. In the action Olivia unzips me and pushes at my shoulder so that I can come out of the dress. I reach around and have myself exposed, just like her.

Olivia now lain against my pillows, a slight smirk on her face, "Come here baby," she coaxes.

"Where?" my lips curled up impishly.

"My face," her eyes were a much darker shade than they normally are and I quickly shed my underwear, noticing a wet patch on them.

I climb the bed and walked on all fours and hovered over Olivia's body. I settled on top of her mouth and her tongue delved into my folds. I gasped and threw my head back, the ends of my hair tickling my bottom, "God, Liv," my grip against the headboard increased to the extent that I was hurting. Olivia's tongue swirled the nerve ending and my hips grind in unison with her tongue's strokes.

I looked down in between my legs and it was those eyes that made me moan her name. I felt Olivia smile against my center as my free hand raked through her scalp, "Please," my thighs were shaking against her head, she knew I was close, "Come for me baby," and she continued to attack my sensitive sex. It only took for her to suck on the swollen nub and my body rippled and exploded with pleasure.

"OLIVIA!"

"So good, Mare," Olivia continued lapping through me as my body rippled with aftershocks.

I slid down her body and kissed her. It was a bruising kiss, passionate, longing… I moaned at the taste of myself on her. I grounded my thigh near her center, feeling the heat of her radiate through my body. Her legs parted wider and her hips swirled around my thigh, the extra friction provided by her underwear was already driving her over the edge, "Open your eyes Liv, let me se you," her leg rose and my center came in quick contact with her body, "Fuck, Liv," I hiss, pushing my body on Olivia's leg. Olivia's body was already shaking; my movement combined with hers had Olivia swimming.

"Mariel," she moaned, her hands searching and pinching my free thigh. I leaned in, capturing her mouth in mine, my hands roaming her torso and stopping at her breasts, kneading them. Olivia's body rose to my touch, her mouth away from mine as she mewled to the heavens. I nip her chin, trailing my tongue down to her neck and her pulse point, "Jesus, baby," I bit her hard, marking her skin in the process.

I speed up my ministration both on her neck and with my hips; her movements met mine in perfect unison, "Come for me, Olivia," I whisper against her skin as I sink my teeth on her flesh. Her body shook underneath me and soon thereafter my release came too. My moans were muffled by my attack on her smooth neck.

Olivia was still silent but her body continued to shake, I manage to slide down further, bringing her panties down as I settle in between her legs. The scent of her arousal quickly fills my nostrils; to have such aroma should be a crime. I was already in love with this woman and being in between her legs was driving me insane. I lap through her folds and that's when Olivia found her sound box. The guttural moan she elicited was enough to send me over for a third time, "Mare," I moaned against her, my tongue swirling around her nub, sucking it in my mouth. Her legs clamped around my head and I knew her release was close. I brought my fingers inside her, first one and she hissed; then two and she moaned, her fingers raking on my scalp and pulling slightly.

I moaned against her, "Yes, God, please, yes!"

I smiled against her and curled my fingers upwards, feeling that pillowy sponge that was sure to send Olivia flying, "Please, please," she pleaded incessantly.

I swirled my tongue and nibbled at the nerve-filled bud and that's when she bucked, sweet nectar spilled over my mouth. Her walls had my fingers hostage inside of her so I did her bidding; I continued pushing my fingers in and out of her until her body eased on me. I kissed her multiple times on her sex, easing the sensations and with every kiss her body jolted. I collapsed at her side and she quickly pulled me upwards to her chest. She hummed at the proximity and captured my lips in a slow kiss. We poured it all in that kiss. Tasting each other on our tongues, our nectars now melded.

"I l—Good night Liv," I mumbled against her chest, catching myself before saying that I loved her.

Olivia hummed and kissed my hair, both falling in blissful sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

_**Chapter 14**_

I woke up to Olivia's arms around me. I glanced at my bedside table where the clock read eight thirty in the morning and if we were lucky, we'd had a good thirty minutes before the little monsters came banging our door down saying that they were hungry. I looked up at the woman holding me, we were in the same position that we had fallen asleep in; I felt safe, protected… loved. It had been a while since I felt that way; it usually took two or more people to make me feel the sensations that, at the moment, only one person were providing me. I smiled and admired the beauty besides me, bringing my hand up and running it down her jaw. I smiled when my caressing caused Olivia to smile in her sleep.

I leaned in and kissed her jaw, "I love you Lieutenant," I whispered against her skin before I kissed her once more. She stirred and I backed away, watching her intently. I kissed her temple and got up, grabbing a t-shirt and shorts. As soon as I opened the door, a little redhead peeked her head from her doorframe. Our eyes met and we smiled to each other, I brought my index finger to my mouth and extended my hand to her. We walked together to the kitchen, "Morning baby," I said as I picked her up and kissing her cheek. Her legs wrapped around my torso automatically and she kissed my nose and smiled her missing teeth smile. Cassidy was slowly gaining the weight that she needed in order to be at par with her height and age ratio.

"Hi Mama," she said as I carried her through the kitchen.

"How'd you sleep? You hungry?"

She nodded, "Noah snores," we giggled in unison.

I sat her on the kitchen island as I did most mornings, "Mama, what are we doing on St. Andrew's Day?"

 _What? Andrew is not a patron in this country… wait!_ "When is St. Andrew's Day, Cass?"

"November thirty," she said folding her legs underneath her.

"What happens on St. Andrew's Day?"

"My first Mama used to put garlic on the window," she played with my fingers and pushed hair out of her face with her free one. Before I could ask her anything else she spoke again, "And, she brought me cake with a candle," she looked at me with expressive eyes.

"That's your birthday Cassidy?" I ask, rubbing her cheek.

"I don't know," she shrugged her shoulders.

I chuckled and got lost in those beautiful doe eyes. Cassidy's birthday was November Thirtieth and I was determined on celebrating it with her and whoever else wanted to be a part of it, "Well Cassidy, St. Andrew's Day is your birthday and I am going to make sure that you have garlic on your window and a big chocolate cake with ice cream. I'll even let you pick the color of the frosting. And, we can ask Lillian's parents if she could come over after school. How does that sound?"

Her eyes lit up and her smile reached her brows, "Yes! Thank you Mama," she threw herself on me, "What about Noah and Mommy? And, Alex?"

 _Alex? Why Alex, Cassidy?_ "Uh," I bit my lip, "I'll ask Mommy and Noah and uh," I scratched my brow, "I'll ask Mommy for Alex's number and ask if she could swing by, ok?" I tucked her hair behind her ear.

She nodded, "I love you Mama," she smiled up at me.

"I love you too kiddo," I chuckled, "What should we do for breakfast?"

She smirked and I knew what she was going to ask, "Yogurt bowl with bacon and toast!"

"Hungry, huh?" I raised my brows.

She nodded and smiled. I open the fridge and eye the contents, I will always have yogurt in my home since Cassidy cannot seem to have enough of it. I had learned to mix it up so I threw two jugs of vanilla Greek yogurt, a banana, vanilla extract, and cinnamon into the blender until it was smooth. I divided it into four bowls and topped it off with sliced peaches, strawberries, bananas, shredded coconut and peanuts and drizzled chocolate syrup on top. As we waited for the toast and bacon to finish two sleepy brunettes made their presence known with smiles on their faces at the smell of grease throughout the apartment.

"Something smells good," Olivia utters, leaning in and capturing my lips with hers.

I hum at the feel of her lips against mine and we swap Noah in our arms, "Food's almost ready," I kissed Noah's cheek and he smiled and hugged my neck as I sat him down next to Cassidy.

"Thanks Mama," Noah mumbled.

Olivia and Cassidy were hugging each other when the first two sets of toast popped on the toaster. I cut the toast and applied butter and jam on them and gave a bowl to Noah and the other to Cass. I placed a few strips of bacon in a saucer plate and watched them eat as Olivia and I waited for the next two sets of toast.

"Is this where you have breakfast?" Olivia chuckled and circled her arms through my waist.

I nodded and leaned against her body, "We have to talk, Liv," and the toaster went off. I mimicked the movements and we leaned on the island with the kids and had a fun breakfast.

After our morning breakfast we decided to clean up and go to a near by park that I've gotten used to taking Cassidy on the weekends after she had finished her homework or if we just wanted to be outside for a little bit. Olivia and I walked with our fingers laced together as Noah and Cassidy squealed and romped in front of us. I smiled at the scene unfolding in front of me and I couldn't help but giggle. Olivia looked at me and smiled, squeezing my hand in the process. Whilst she was getting ready, I took the opportunity and called Lillian's parents and asked permission to take her home with me on Thursday after school and either have her dropped off at her home or they were more than welcomed to pick her up.

"You said we needed to talk, so talk," Olivia offered as we sat on a nearby bench, carefully watching the kids.

"Uh, yes," I cleared my throat, "Cassidy knows when her birthday is," I said turning to look at Olivia.

Her eyes were wide, "What? Why now? What did you say?"

I shrugged my shoulders and smiled, "I didn't say anything, Liv. She asked me what we were doing on St. Andrew's Day and I asked her when was it, she told me it was on the thirtieth. I then asked her what happened on that day and she told me that her Mama put garlic on the window and would bring her cake with a candle. She had no concept of birthdays, she thought of it as part of the celebration. And, it could be but she did tell me, during bath time, that after Andrew's Day, she would be seven."

Olivia glanced at the kids, "So, what are we doing?"

I giggled, "Well it is Thursday so, no after school program for her or Lily. If I could, I can pick up Noah from school and there would be chocolate cake, snacks, and drinks. Nothing too late, maybe until six so that way they have a chance to do homework," I pushed my hair behind my ear, "She wants you there… and Alex. She asked me this morning," I searched Olivia's face, looking for a sign of something, a hint of anything but there was nothing, she just smiled, "I would like her number to invite her, if that's ok with you."

Olivia scoffed and shook her head, "You don't need my permission Mariel. I'm only jealous with reasoning and you haven't given me any," she leaned in and kissed me and stood, jogging towards the kids.

I was in shock, I just sat there with my mouth parted as she glanced back at me and smiled. Yea, I was definitely in love with this woman.

* * *

The weekend ended and Monday soon came to be. I had already bought decorations and gone shopping for the party on Thursday; all I needed now was the color for the frosting that Cassidy hadn't decided upon yet. As I'm getting Cassidy ready for her day to school we sat on the couch in the living room whilst she ate her breakfast and I pondered on what to do with her hair.

"Cass, what should I do with your hair today?"

She looked back at me as she chewed on her sandwich, "I want your hair Mama," she smiled and turned to continue looking at the TV.

I smiled and shook my head. My hair was parted down the middle and pulled into two ponytails with the rest of my hair down and wavy. I had two strands framing my face that made me look younger than I was but it was a hairstyle that I went to when I was running errands or just lounging around. I almost never sported it for work. I copied the hairstyle on Cassidy and placed two small bows on each of the tails on her head and we were on our way to her school.

After dropping her off, I had made sure that I was dressed the part to show up at the District Attorney's Office. I decided to pay a visit to Alexandra instead of calling her since the FBI was still monitoring my calls, I did not want to risk anything and personal meetings were that, personal. Romo did not question the fact that I had to go to the DA's Office as he knew that due to the job I was bound to be called there but I needed to come clean if I wanted her to come to my home. Once we arrived at the DA's Office, I leaned in towards the front, "Romo, accompany me please," he looked through the rearview and almost choked on his own saliva. I was never one to solicit the escort, it was always forced upon me and though I complied, you could tell I hated it. He put the car in park and exited the vehicle with me.

"What's this about Marti?" he asked, as we made it up the elevators from the underground garage.

"You'll find out Romo, trust me," I smiled.

He shook his head and scoffed. I smiled and continued walking towards Alex's office, "Please, wait here. I'll come get you when I'm ready," I said, leaving him standing by Alex's secretary, "I'm here to see the Bureau Chief, it's important," I showed her my FBI shield and saw her eyes widen. I smiled internally, why do people always shut down when they see an FBI shield? I'll never understand.

She called Alex, "Chief, FBI is here."

"…"

"They won't say, only that it is important."

"…"

"Yes Chief," she hung up, "She'll see you now."

I nodded and walked through the door, without knocking or announcing my presence. Once she feels the door close she speaks, never looking up from her desk, "The level of disrespect your organization exudes is in—"

I smirk at her, "You were saying Counselor?"

"Vic—" she stands quickly as I raise my brows at her and shake my head faintly, "Uh, Dr. Marti, what can I do for you?"

I look around the office and spot the couch, "Join me?" I utter as I motion to the leather couch against her window.

She nods and makes her way over, we both sit and I cross my legs, "How are you?" I speak, breaking the silence that has since fallen upon us.

"I—I'm surprised," she mumbles as she fixes her glasses on her face, "I don't see you in sixteen years and I've seen you now twice in a span of four days."

I chuckle, "I'm still the same me, Alexandra," I reach for the hand that was draped over her knee, "I just have a different name, that is all," I finish squeezing her hand.

She closes her eyes, smiles, and nods, "I've missed you, so, so much," her voice is barely and audible whisper as a tear escapes her eyes.

I'm quick to wipe away the stray droplet, cupping her cheek. She scoffs and leans into my touch, her hand raising and holding mine in place, "I'm here now Lex," I push myself closer, "Look at me, Alexandra," she does as I bid, "I'm not going anywhere," I say with conviction, my eyes staring deep within her icy blue ones.

She nods and smiles, sniffling in the process. Her eyes dance between my lips and back to my eyes. I smile and lean in, capturing her lips in lingering chaste kiss, her body relaxes against mine as we slowly come apart. I captured her lips three more times quickly before sitting up straight, "How are you feeling?"

"Don't psychoanalyze me, Doctor," she chuckles.

I giggle, "I wasn't Counselor but point taken," I finish, licking my lips.

"I'm teasing," she admits, "What brings you by? Certainly not to make me cry."

I shake my head, "Uh, no," I cleared my throat, "Cassidy's birthday is on Thursday, she asked me if you were coming. She wants you there."

Her eyes widen and a smile appears on her face, "Yes! Of course I will be there. I don't have court so I'll be there, what time? What does she like? Do you mind if I show up earlier and help you set up? Do you n—"

"Alex! Alex!" I call, giggling at the rambling blonde; she quiets down and stares at me like I've grown a second head, "Breathe! She gets off from school at three and I've already asked Liv to pick up Noah from school and I'm bringing home one of her friends. Uh, she likes books, puzzles, coloring books… bows, she loves bows; she does have dolls and stuffed animals but she seldom plays with them. Oh, and you most definitely can show up as early as you'd like, I would love your company. Though, someone needs to meet you beforehand…" I stand and walk to the door and shout for Romo. He quickly approaches with his hand on his holster, ready to draw his gun. I stare at him and scoff, "Relax, come in here and before you say anything, don't start," he looks at me confused and I roll my eyes and usher him in.

Once inside he eyes the room until he turns and sees her sitting, "No, no, no; we're leaving. Now!" He motions forward and grabs my arm as I pull it out of his grasp.

"We are not going anywhere, are you going to let me explain?"

"Jesus, Mariel! You're getting worse and worse by the minute. How the fuck did this happen?"

I glance at Alex who has her eyebrow knit in confusion, "Thanksgiving; Olivia got invited to her dinner and she obviously brought me. I didn't know it was Alexandra, otherwise I wouldn't have accepted if I'd known it was _the_ Alexandra from my past. Jesus Luke, you act like I've been insubordinate the entire sixteen years, screw you!"

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, "You're right, I'm sorry," he sighed, "Why are you telling me this anyway? You could've gotten away with it."

"Cassidy's birthday is on Thursday, Alex is coming and I know if she would've just shown up, you would've had me moved."

He scoffs and shakes his head, "Fine," he paces, "we're done here yet?"

"In a few," he nods and exits. I walk back to Alex and sit down next to her, "I'm sorry about him. He's been with me since the beginning when he was an agent, he's just overprotective."

She nodded and smiled, "No one wants to lose you Victoria. I definitely don't, I just got you back."

I nodded and stood, "I know and now, I'm always being escorted," I giggled, "I'll let you get back to work," I reach into my purse and hand her my card, "My cellphone is on there as well," I begin to walk to the door and she stands and escorts me out, "Do not hesitate to call me, Alexandra. If you need anything, even if you want to swing by, do not hesitate. I'm always with Olivia and the kids or sometimes is just Cassidy and I. Olivia won't mind, I can tell by the kiss you both shared," I wink and smile as I lean in and capture her lips in a quick chaste kiss.

She groans and chuckles, "Her relationships never last because of me but we've tried it one too many time, we're better off as friends. You on the other hand, understand that those kisses have no bearings," she smiles at me and tucks one of the framing strands behind my ear, "You look fifteen with this hairstyle!"

"Call me, Alex. I'm expecting you on Thursday," I wave my finger over her face as I walk out.

* * *

Throughout the course of the week Cassidy didn't speak about anything else other than her birthday. Finally, on Monday night she told me the color of the frosting for the cake. She said, " _Grey, just like your eyes and yellow, because it's our favorite color._ " Her response alone was enough to send me into a crying fit that scared her at first but after explaining that they were happy tears, like when she cries when she laughs too much she hugged and kissed my tears away. Alex had taken a half-day at the office just to help me setup and had even brought lunch for the both of us. We went to pick up the cake; it was single tiered round light grey fondant cake with canary yellow accents. The banner that held her name in grey letters was in the front and the decorative candy flowers and butterflies were sprawled on the sides and the top. Alex's eyes glimmered at the sight of the cake as we carried it outside and into the back of the SUV.

After setting up everything at my apartment, we proceeded to pick up Noah first since he was off fifteen before three and then made it to pick up Cassidy and Lily. Thankfully, the third row in our SUV came in handy multiple times, though the tedious job of swapping the huge boosters belonging to the kids was getting too much that we decided to leave them in the back. Lily was small enough to fit in between the two boosters and though I wasn't sure if she used a booster or not, I felt comfortable enough that she could sit in between them whilst Alex and I sat in the middle row. The ride was rowdy and filled with laughter and chatter, Cassidy's personality shone through every time kids surrounded her. She had been surrounded by adults for most of her childhood and could get out of hand when surrounded by kids but I was not one to prohibit her outbursts, just teach her how to control them.

Back at the apartment, Alex and I had set up the den with toys, snacks, juice boxes, and water bottles for them to play and entertain themselves until Olivia showed up so that we could sing 'happy birthday'. As Alex and I waited downstairs and kept a careful ear extended to the kids upstairs, we sipped on some wine and talked about our last sixteen years apart. We're sitting on the couch when Lillian approached us, "Dr. Marti?"

"Yes, sweetheart," I replied, setting my glass on my coffee table.

"Could you tie my hair up so that it doesn't get in my face, please?"

"Yea, stay here with Alex. I'll go get a hair tie," I stood and looked for a hair tie in Cassidy's room. They were everywhere now. I used to keep a few in my bedside drawer but having a daughter deemed that challenging.

I return and sit and Lily accommodates her body in between my legs. Looking at Lillian, she looked more like my daughter than Cassidy; she had beautiful tanned skin and long jet black hair, my guess, one of her parents was of Hispanic descent. I pulled her hair to the base of her crown and tied it up in a ponytail, "There you go."

"Thank you," she smiled back at me as she ran towards the stairs.

Alex and I were throwing our heads back in laughter, reminiscing on things we had done. Alex was five years older than me but we lived on the same block and our parents knew each other. We had play dates and we went to school together. She was a big sister to both Vienna and I but I was fonder of her more than Vienna. The door opened and a flustered Olivia came through, carrying two bags and balloons, "Shit, Liv," I say, standing quickly and meeting her at the door.

"Hey baby," she purrs, smiling at me and capturing my lips within hers, my body giving in and deepening the kiss.

I kiss her twice more, quickly and grab the bags and balloons and walk away towards the island and place them there. Alex meets us by the island and kisses Olivia chastely once, "Hey Liv, how was work?"

"It was work, where are the kids, I'm ready for cake!"

I chuckle at Olivia's excitement; she did love cake and since it was fifteen past five, might as well get it over with, "Kids," I shout.

"Yes," they all say unison.

"Time to sing and eat cake. And, no running down the stairs," I shout back.

The house rumbles as their little footsteps approach. Noah squeals as he sees Olivia and runs into her arms. Once she sets him down, she kneels in front of Cassidy and hugs and mumbles something inaudible to me but I see her giggling and talking back to her. We all make way to the table and Alex graciously brings the cake to the table and lights the candle with the number seven on it. Cassidy's eyes lit up and her smile nearly reaches her eyes. We sang to her, cut the cake, and devoured the moist cake with gusto. I'd cut a few bigger pieces and plated them individually so that Lily could take home to her parents and Alex and Olivia could take home with them as well. The kids played and the adults sipped out of their glasses as we watched the kiddos run around us.

Right at six I hear a knock on the door, Olivia being the closest to the door she opens it and I catch a glimpse of the woman at the door, Lillian's mother. Olivia invites her in and I greet her from the sink as I'm washing the dishes, "Mrs. Todd, welcome!" I say walking to meet her.

"Oh, thank you, Dr. Marti. Lillian does not stop talking about Cassidy," she chuckles as Alex produces the little girl to her mother with shoes on and clean face, "Oh, Lillian, how are you pumpkin?" She kneels in front of her daughter that resembles her to the t.

"I had so much fun Mommy!"

Mrs. Todd chuckles, "I can tell."

"I'm sorry Mrs. Todd, this is Bureau Chief Alex Cabot," Alex extends her arm and greets the woman, "Lt. Olivia Benson, NYPD's SVU and my partner," she opens her eyes and smiles big as Olivia extends her arm as well. By now, Noah and Cassidy had already joined us, "Oh, and this is our son, Noah," Noah smiled brightly and dragged Alex and Cass back to the game they were playing.

"Well, it's been a pleasure and thank you Dr. Marti for taking such good care of our little girl."

"It was my pleasure, she was a treat. Oh," I pace quickly to the island and retrieve a plate and walk back to Olivia and Mrs. Todd, "Cake, I'm sure you and your partner will enjoy it," I smiled.

"I'm sure _she_ would, especially if it's chocolate," she shook Lily's arm playfully.

With that, we bid goodbye to the girls and let them be. It was a successful afternoon and I couldn't have been happier with the outcome. Cassidy was beyond happy and her happiness was mine as well. After it had quieted down in my home, she opened her gifts. She opened Alex's present first, it was a heavy bag and its contents included the Roald Dahl Book Collection comprised by fifteen books. Cassidy's eyes lit up at the sight of the collection even though her reading was not up to par with the rest of the seven year olds in her classroom we worked on it every day and every other weekend she met with a tutor for it as well. Mrs. Todd's gift was next, and once she pulled it out, the room filled with laughter.

She had given her a Pippi Longstocking rag doll with the included three-in-one book; it was beautiful. Olivia's gift was next, she had gifted her a few clothing items with matching bows but her favorite item was an NYPD t-shirt, she couldn't have been more ecstatic. Finally it was my turn, it took me a little while to figure out what to give her but I did and I couldn't be happier with my choice. Just like me at that age, I got her two-carat diamond earrings and a very tasteful gold chain with her nameplate. I still wore my earrings but as for my nameplate, I couldn't. I loved it but it said 'Victoria'. She was in love and I was more in love with her smile.


	15. Chapter 15

_**Chapter 15**_

After a successful weekend, Monday came once again. Olivia had been ridiculously busy thanks to the case of Ms. Valerie Tompkins. I had done everything in my power to get her to relax, whether it was easing her stress, taking care of Noah, having her in the apartment by herself whilst I took the kids out for hot chocolate, and even by devoting myself to her in bed. We talked but I came to the quick realization that she wanted to spare me the details of the investigation and I could understand why. I didn't agree with it but I understood her reasoning on keeping me at arm's length when it came to our jobs.

With Cassidy at school and the morning slowly rolling into the afternoon, my phone rings but since the TV distracts me, I don't pay attention to the caller ID, "Dr. Marti," I utter quickly.

" _We're back to formalities, Doctor?_ " Olivia quips.

"Liv," I smile, "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention."

She chuckles, " _It's ok_ ," she sounds distraught.

"Baby," I mumble softly, "what's wrong?"

" _Uh_ ," I hear her scoff, " _we have another body; multiple stab wounds, fatal wound was one to the left lung. She did sport defensive wounds and same card was left on top of the body,_ " she sighed loudly.

"Do we have an ID on the victim?" I ask, furrowing my brow.

" _Not yet, she's young Mare, no more than sixteen. From the looks of her clothing, probably homeless or runaway,_ " she was frustrated, " _We're going to need a new profile._ "

I nodded and bit my lip, "Olivia," I thought of what to say but I knew she didn't want to hear anything encouraging about this case; kids were always hard for her, "I'm here for you, ok? I'll be in soon."

" _Thank you,_ " she mumbled breathily and hung up thereafter.

I shook my head and stood from the couch, turning off the television in the process. She was already stressing and probably not by her own volition. When cases like these one happened, the Brass liked to dig in up commanding officer's Asses more than necessary. I quickly changed into more decent and work appropriate apparel but kept my ponytail that since had migrated to the right due to the weight my hair carried. I walk out of my apartment and begin my way to the stairs, at the bottom; Marshall Romo and Agent Ford were waiting for me. I nodded towards them and they picked up their pace and met me outside by the SUV. The ride to the precinct went by quicker than I expected but we were able to make it in key time.

Walking through the bullpen, I ignored the commotion and headed straight to the Lieutenant's office. I walked in but since I had traded my signature heels for a pair of flats, she didn't hear the soft padding of my feet across the floor, "Lieutenant," I spoke, startling her slightly. She looks up and smiles, removing her glasses in the process. I approach her and she stands, my arms circling around her waist, flushing her body against mines as my lips capture hers in a bruising kiss. I didn't know how else to make this woman understand my feelings towards her and though our kids understood the depths of our sentiments and I'm sure we did too but we were too afraid, too deep within our own brood that we kept ignoring it all. The chasm within our views far too broad and wide and I could tell and feel the toll it would put on our relationship if we didn't address it accordingly.

Our lips melded together and our tongues danced with each other; everything felt right, everything _was_ right. Her hands were at my neck and mine had fisted her blouse and blazer at her hips. I broke the kiss, sucking in a trembled breath, "Liv," I whispered as I leaned my forehead against hers, my breathing as shaky as my hands.

She kissed my forehead, "I know, I know," she mumbled against my skin, "I'll talk when I'm ready babe, I promise," she kissed my forehead once more.

I nodded and stepped back, "Ready Lieutenant?" I smiled.

It was the same MO from Valerie Tompkins so my initial profile had been wrong. I wasn't disappointed of my failed attempt, it happens. Now, we had another body, of another girl, probably in the same age range as Valerie Tompkins, and with the same stab wounds and card left on the body. NYPD had yet to disclose the murder of Valerie Tompkins as per the request of the Tompkins' family lawyer so we could not had been dealing with a copycat. And, no details had been released either so we were not tipping off any body. We had assessed the crime scene pictures, we had gone by what the ME had written in her report and though no sexual signs were on any of the bodies, it was still and SVU case by the brutality and the fact that these were children so, sadly, it automatically fell into SVU's case log. By the time I glanced at my watch, it was already a quarter to six and I needed to pick up and get dinner ready for Cassidy. I asked Olivia if she needed any help but she dismissed me and let me know that if she needed anything else that she would call.

At home a few hours later, Cassidy was already fed and bathed, we were sitting down doing homework. I was impressed by her smarts and knowledge when it came to mathematics; it was like she had a built in calculator and almost always, she was done with that portion before any of the other ones. She was a brilliant little girl, clever, and had a witty way about her. My phone rang whilst helping her with her social studies homework; they were learning about Greek gods, "Marti," I uttered quickly.

" _Cabot_ ," Alex's voice dripped from the other side.

"Alexandra, to what do I owe this pleasure?" I smiled.

" _I was wondering,_ " she paused, " _SVU caught the cases of the two young girls, correct?_ "

I furrowed by brow, "Yes, why?"

" _Have you ID the second victim?_ "

"Uh," I nodded at Cassidy, "give me a second, baby."

" _What?_ " Alex nearly shouted.

I pulled my phone away and tittered, "Alex, I'm helping Cassidy with homework, would you like to come over? We can discuss the case here but not over the phone."

" _Yes, I'll be there in twenty,_ " she said quickly and the line went dead.

Cass and I continued with homework. Greek mythology was always my favorite so helping her felt a lot like a great accomplishment. Roughly twenty minutes later, Cassidy sat on the couch, reading aloud from her reading comprehension assignment and a knock raps on my door. I walk towards it and peep through the hole, Alex, "Come in Chief Cabot," I say as I open the door.

"Very funny, Tori," she chided playfully.

"Hi Lexie," Cassidy beckoned from the couch.

"Hey sweets," Alex replied, walking over to her and kissing her forehead, "what are you doing?"

"Reading comprehension about The Great Sphinx Statue," she said matter-of-factly.

"Oh," Alex said as I handed her a glass of wine.

As she went to reach it I pulled back and she looked up at me as I smiled, "She gets a kiss but I don't?"

Alex scoffed and smiled, grabbing the stem of the glass, and pushing her self up on the couch, capturing my lips in a chaste kiss. I pushed back and tittered, "Help her, you're good with words."

"Lexie," Cass begun, "I need a sentence with the word 'legend'."

"Uh, let's see," Alex pondered as she removed her shoes, "In North America, there is a tribal legend of red-haired tribes in present day Texas, Utah, and Nevada often described as Giants in the myths."

Cassidy's eyes lit up at the mention of red-haired tribes across the US. Alex did always know the quirkiest facts about anything and everything. I smiled at the raillery between Alex and my daughter and once finished I picked her up and excused myself for a few minutes and we went over to my room where she slept when Olivia and Noah weren't here. I lay in bed with her and we cuddle up together, we had begun reading the books that Alex had gifted her and we were only able to go through a few pages before her breathing evened out and she was fast asleep. I shifted and was able to release the grip she always seemed to have on me and she stirred but didn't wake. I walk back out to the living room and find Alex watching TV, "Ready baby?" I quipped.

She turned around with a horrified look on her face that caused me to fold over in giggles, "Jesus Alexandra, why so horrified?"

"That word should only be reserved for people whom you love," she conceded.

I didn't know this was going to take such a serious overtone, "But, I _do_ love you Alexandra; I never stopped loving you. You were my first love, that's hard to forget."

Alex's eyes watered, "Victoria," she whispered, "maybe we shouldn't do this if Olivia is not here," she went to stand.

"Alex, stop, please stop," I pleaded, "Olivia and I have an open line of communication. There are no secrets here and my feelings for her are far stronger than I've ever experienced. So please, don't leave… I mean, if you're uncomfortable, I understand but please know, I don't want to put you in a predicament that may jeopardize your relationship with Olivia or mines."

I approached the couch and sat next to her, wiping her tears away, "I've just missed you Victoria," she lowered her head, "My emotions are everywhere," she admitted.

I raised her head, "Where is everywhere, Alex?"

"I love you, I missed you… I feel like a teenager again. Every time we kiss, even though is chastely, my heart flutters and when I kiss Olivia the same way, I do get the same feelings as well. I don't know what to do."

I smiled, "Alex, we're all attractive adults who have had a relationship with the other at some point. For you and I, even though we didn't explore our feelings, we were cognoscente and aware that they were there but we were ripped apart before it could happen. You and Olivia have history, you still love her but are you _in_ love with her? Are you in love with me?"

"No," she happily answered, "I just have a lot of love for the both of you. You two are my best friends," she tittered, wiping her tears away.

I smiled and bit my lip, leaning in and pressing our lips together, "See, shrinks aren't so bad," I jester, causing her to laugh heartily, "Now, the case Chief…"

She sniffled and giggled, "Yes, uh, I know it's SVU because of the mutilation to the body of the young girls but I understand you have no ID for the second vic?"

I nodded, "There's a poem of sorts left on the bodies but it still does not make any sense," I bit my lip before continuing, "We've searched throughout the internet, we've put out BOLO's and APB's, there are no prints, no fibers, no fluids; nothing. It's like the killer strikes and a body appears. We don't even know what his MO is other than multiple stab wounds and fatal stab to left lung."

"Jesus," Alex mumbled, "You made a profile?"

"Yes, two," I ran my fingers through my hair, "Initially, I thought it was someone close to the first victim. Someone who was maybe jealous, held a grudge, was resentful but now that we have a pattern and Warner established that the same type of knife caused the wounds, I had to change the profile. Now, we're looking for someone methodical, a perfectionist, obviously someone who carries a lot of rage towards these girls or women in general but the question still remains, why?"

"Why?" Alex parroted.

I nodded, "Why them? What makes them so angry? Why did they feel the need to _violently brutalize_ these young girl's body?"

"Do you have an age group or gender?" Alex inquired.

I bit my lip and looked at her quizzically, "What Victoria, you always did have that look when you were attempting to hide something."

"I think we're looking at a woman here," I say softly.

Her eyes grew wide, "Did you tell Liv?" I shook my head, "Why?"

"I don't want to believe a young woman is doing this out there, Alex. I did tell her to explore all possibilities and that maybe this has nothing with the girls, to think outside the box."

"You think there's a killer out there just killing to send a message?" Alex analyzed.

I nodded, "You are brilliant, Doctor," I giggled, "I'll call Liv on my way home for any details, I can talk to my detectives to provide help. I know Barba must be feeling the pressure," she finished and stood, putting her heels back on.

I accompanied her to the door, "Thank you," I sighed.

She smiled and studied my face, "You're welcome," she said as she leaned in and pressed her lips to mine, "She'll come around Tori, let her come to you."

I nodded and smiled back to Alex, opening the door, "Let me know you're safe in your home, please."

"I will, I promise," she winked and walked out.

Thank God for friends like Alexandra Cabot, who could make sense of this crazy world we all resided in without too much hesitation. It was scary but thank God for Olivia too. I locked the door and turned off the lights, stunting back to my room and lying down next to my daughter. Hopefully this all came to an end… soon.

By the end of the week there were still no leads on Janey Doe found earlier this week. Olivia hadn't been to her home in two days and my guess, she hadn't seen Noah since; we spoke mostly about the case and that was that. Until that afternoon when I received a call from Sergeant Tutuola ushering me to come in as soon as possible saying that they had a lead and a possible suspect for me to match with the profile. I got ready with Cassidy that morning and told her that Lucy was going to bring her by home with Noah and do homework and dinner cause Mommy and I were going to work really hard to put a bad guy away. I had texted Lucy and had told her that a black SUV was to pick her and Noah up at his school to watch over them at my home. I was already planning on going in that afternoon and comb over the facts to see if we could narrow it down and find a proper suspect.

Walking into the precinct you could feel the tension and you could tell that the detectives and their commanding officer hadn't slept well or at all since Janey Doe came to be. I placed my coat and purse atop a metal file drawer in the bullpen and adjusted my cobalt pencil skirt and fixed my plain white tee at the waistband of the skirt. I ran my fingers through my hair to ease the dull throbbing pain that had succumbed to my being ever since the phone call.

"Doctor, nice of you to join us," Carisi spoke.

"Yea," I said, closing my eyes, smiling, and placing my hands on my hips, "We have a lead?"

"Yes," Amanda spoke, "Priscilla Rhodes, fourteen, student at Brearly in the Upper East Side, daughter of—"

"Winston and Jules Rhodes of Rhodes Enterprises," I mumbled.

Amanda nodded and continued, "Parents came home from a business trip didn't find her there thought maybe she was at a friend's house so they let it go. It wasn't until the school called the mother yesterday morning to ask on her well being that they noticed she was missing. They called the Police Commissioner who called the DA who rained down on Barba and the Lieutenant," she sighed.

Carisi continued, "We interviewed the parents yesterday and we asked them about her apparel. They stated that she was a member of the Art club and part of the theater program. She was lead character in an original school production about a drug addict runaway; perp must've grabbed her after rehearsals. They opened tonight."

"And, the suspect in custody?" I asked, taking in all the information given to me.

"Lieu was waiting for you, her and Amanda are going to take a shot at him," Carisi stated.

"Let's get her then," I say as I make my way to the Olivia's office.

I follow the Detectives into Olivia's office, "Lieu, Doc's here," Carisi announces.

"Great, let's get started! Rollins, you coming?" Olivia says and disappears through the door with Amanda before I can say anything to her.

I stand and look through the window in her office accompanied by Carisi, "Mr. Chisholm, thank you for coming in," Amanda commences, Olivia is playing bad cop by leaning against the wall away behind the suspect.

"Please," began the lanky teenager, "call me Christopher, my father is Mr. Chisholm."

"Alright, Christopher, what was your relationship like with Priscilla?" Amanda asked.

"Uh, she was my girlfriend."

"Your girlfriend?" Olivia said, pushing herself off from the wall, "That's funny, her parents say that she wasn't dating anyone," Olivia circled around and sat next to Amanda.

"Well, yea," Christopher said, leaning in on the table, "have you met her parents? They're mad uptight."

Amanda looked at Olivia and scoffed, "Uptight? What do you mean?"

"Her dad nearly popped a vessel when he saw me with her. I'm from the projects, she obviously isn't. They didn't want us together," he said, twirling the ring on his right middle finger.

"How did you two meet?" Amanda asked.

"I was picking up my little brother from PS 86 in Kingsbridge Heights and I took him to Washington's Walk. She was on a school trip at Lehman's, they let them roam through the park and that's where I met her. She was very pretty," he said, his lip trembling slightly.

"Oh, I see but explain something to me Christopher," Olivia paused, "we went through her phone and we saw some text messages where she breaks up with you, want to explain that?"

"Uh, she—she didn't know what she was saying. She was confused. Her—her p—parents must've put her up to it," he stuttered. _Good job Liv!_

"Yea?" she looked at Amanda, "Then explain why you texted her to meet you "at the spot you like"?"

"You were the last one to see her alive, so unless you start talking Christopher, you're in big trouble here pal," Amanda went in on him.

"W—wait, no. I—I d—didn't even have my phone when this was sent!" he stuttered.

"You're sixteen Christopher," Olivia chided, raising her voice, "Tell me of a teenager who doesn't have their phone."

"No, I swear," he stood up, banging on the table.

Olivia stood quickly and circled around, "Easy Christopher, let's calm down," she went to place her hand on his shoulder and he shrugged it off, "Ok, ok, you said you didn't have your phone, do you know who did?"

He ran his fingers over his sweaty brow, "M—my mother," he turned around, his eyes welling with tears, "I was grounded 'cause I was late to pick up Nicholas, my brother."

Olivia looked at Amanda and Amanda looked towards the mirror, I shook my head because I recognized the look. This kid could've murdered Priscilla but how do you explain his connection to Valerie? I knocked on the panel and shook my head. He wasn't good for this and even if he had murdered Priscilla, he couldn't have murdered Valerie, this was a long shot. Olivia and Amanda exit the interrogation room and enter Olivia's office.

"Well, that went well," Carisi's vitriol came through, "You really shook him there for a second Lieu."

Olivia took a deep breath and ran her hands through her face, "Is he good for it?"

I shook my head and licked my lips, "He doesn't carry enough anger to do that to two bodies," I paused and stared at my feet, "I need to know why they broke up."

"We got him, Lieutenant," Amanda offered, nudging Carisi on his arm.

The Detectives took over the interview. Once inside, Carisi circled the table where Christopher had sat once more.

"Christopher, tell me the truth now, why did she break up with you?" Carisi begun.

"I told them before, it was her parents. They made her do it."

"They made her do it?" Carisi sat across from him, "Come on, Chris, be honest with me, I'm a guy too," he was playing a role, "What? Did you want to take it a step further and she said no but then maybe you kept pushing and she just pushed you away and broke up with you?"

"N—no, she t—told me she wanted me to be her first," he was falling for it.

"But, nobody breaks up with you so you grabbed your phone and texted her to meet you and you killed her because she denied you."

"No!"

"No? Then tell us what happened!" Rollins demanded.

His eyes danced frantically from one Detective to the other, "She—she was seeing someone else," he acquiesced.

Amanda looked back at the glass, "She was? Is that what made you mad?"

"I—I wasn't mad," he sighed and wiped his face from the tears he had shed, "I knew from the beginning."

"So, what? You were ok with being the side piece?" Carisi inquired.

"N—no, we… never did anything," he pressed his palms to his forehead.

"What—What are you saying Christopher?" Amanda was confused and so was I honestly.

"S—she liked girls. I was just a cover up for her parents."

"Did you know who her girlfriend was?" Carisi asked.

He nodded, "Tilly Delaney."

Olivia turned off the intercom as Rollins and Carisi exited the interrogation room, "Find her. Bring her in. Now," Olivia ordered.

I offer the Detectives a sheep smile. I know the kind of pressure that is raining upon their Lieutenant, especially with this being a high profile case and being monitored _expressively_ by the Police Commissioner. Dealing with wealthy families is never fun, especially when their connections go as deep as the ones my father has. I understood what Olivia was feeling because it was probably the same thing my then Marshall was feeling whenever my father pressured him into doing something that was clearly against the program. I walk towards Olivia, "Hey, want to talk?"

She scoffed and threw her glasses on her desk, "Not really, no."

I sighed and sat across from her, "Liv, I know you don't w—"

"Then if you know don't, why do you push it Mariel?" she growled at me.

I leaned back on the chair and widened my eyes, "Wow," I shook my head. She was under lots of stress, "Liv, why don't you go somewhere and lay down? I know you haven't slept in—"

"Stop, just stop," she was whispering but her voice oozed with frustration, "Stop treating me like I'm one of your patients. You lots are all the same! When I'm ready to see my shrink again, you'll be the first one to know!" she stood abruptly.

My eyes had watered already and I was fighting the tears that threaten to fall. I watched her pace the office and when her eyes landed on mine a rogue tear escaped. I breathed out the breath I was holding and wiped my tear quickly as I stood, "No, Mar—"

"No," I growled as she reached for my elbow, "Screw you Olivia," more tears fell down my face, "I wasn't treating you like my patients, I am treating you like I _want_ to be treated, like your fucking girlfriend," every time I held my sobs back and I breathed out more tears covered my cheeks, "But, that's my fault I guess. When you need a new profile or a good fuck, call me; it's the only thing I seem to be good for."

I stormed out of Olivia's office, controlling my sobs. I pull my coat and purse from the metal filing cabinet and grab my phone from the coat pocket. It was already past six in the afternoon, meaning that Lucy, Noah, and Cass were already in my apartment. I call Romo and order him to pick me up a few blocks away from the precinct; he was there in a timely manner. My tears had not ceased since I stepped off Olivia's office and the calls hadn't stopped either. I was hurt and now, I was the one that didn't want to speak. Romo knew better than to ask what was going on and by the time I got home, I needed to pull it in together, the kids were inside and the last thing I needed was for them to start asking questions that were going to be too hard for me to answer.

I get out of the SUV and briskly walk towards my home. I can hear Romo calling out for me but now was not the time to have this conversation. I put the key in my door and open it, automatically hearing the ruckus coming from the den. I smile and relax my shoulders when Lucy approaches and greets me. The kids follow after hugging and kissing me. It felt good to be surrounded by all the love their little bodies were exuding. Lucy had cooked for them and her self and there were leftovers that I graciously helped myself to. I paid Lucy in cash for today's trouble and she fought me, relentlessly saying that it was fine but I fought her even more, saying that Olivia paid for Noah's care, not Cassidy's so after a little badgering, she took her pay and left. The evening unfolded without a problem until after bath time when Noah began asking for his mother. I sighed and fetched my phone, dialing to Olivia, " _Baby, I am so s—_ "

"Your son wants to speak to his mother," I cut her off before anything else was said.

I handed the phone to Noah, "Hi Mommy, when are you coming home?"

" _Uh_ ," I could feel her mentally curse her self, " _soon baby, soon. Where's Lucy, Noah?_ "

"Lucy left, I'm staying with Mama," he conceded.

" _And, Mama is ok with this?_ "

Noah looked at me and I smiled and nodded, "Yea, I miss you Mommy and so does Cassie and Mama. She was crying," _Fuck! How did he notice that?_

" _She was?_ " Olivia's voice cracked, " _Listen sweet boy, I love you and miss you with all my heart. I will see you soon, ok?_ "

"Ok, Mommy. I love you too."

" _Ok baby, put Mama on the phone_ ," Olivia told and Noah did as asked.

"Good night Lieutenant, please have Rollins contact me with any new information."

" _Mare, p—_ "

I hung up.

We all sat on the couch in the living room whilst I read them another chapter in one of Roald Dahl's book and before we finished they were both fast asleep. I carried Noah's sleeping form and placed him on my king sized bed and returned to the living room to carry Cass' body to the other side of the bed. I turned off the lights throughout the dimly lit area and room and settled in the middle of the kids, my kids, _our_ kids. As soon as they felt my body near theirs, they both settled near my ribs, enjoying the heat that my body emitted. I sighed and embraced them as another wave of sadness corroded my soul. This was going to be hard and there was nobody else that I wanted here with me, "Liv."


	16. Chapter 16

_**Chapter 16**_

We had spent Christmas and New Year's amicably. The kids had a beautiful and bountiful Christmas, Alex invited us and a few friends over to her condo for New Year's Eve and Olivia and I, though not speaking, were able to spend that time together without killing each other. Our killer hadn't strike in two weeks and we didn't know if that was good or bad. School had started already for the kiddos and as I got Cassidy ready that morning for school my phone could not stop ringing.

"Red or white, Cassidy?"

"Uh, white," she conceded with a smile on her face.

I chuckled, "Alright, make sure to get your navy tights baby. Let's see who's calling."

Cassidy went and searched for her tights whilst I looked at my missed call log. Two missed calls from Rollins, one from Carisi, and five from Olivia. I rolled my eyes and dialed back to Olivia.

" _Hey baby_ ," she hesitated.

"Liv, please," I pleaded.

" _I—I'm sorry, please we need to talk about this._ "

"And, we will but I doubt that you, Carisi, and Rollins have called me to tell me that you and I need to talk," I scoffed.

" _Yea, we have another body and this time, the parents are already at the precinct and it is not pretty._ "

"Who is it?"

" _Vera-Carmen Simonet_ ," she sighed.

Her words struck me; they were like a slap to my face. I knew Paolo Simonet Sr. My father and him were good friends. His youngest, Paolo Simonet Jr. married world-renowned ballerina, Gianna Reitano and my family and I had gone time and time again to see her perform. By the time I was placed in Wit Sec, they gave birth to their first born, Vera-Carmen, I was utterly dumbfounded, "Olivia, I cannot come in. The Simonet's are family friends, they know who I am. Liv," I struggled to find my words.

" _You don't have to come in, we just wanted to update you that this time, the card had another line that was directed to me. I think this is personal. Chief of D's is sending me home but I'm coming to you. Thought maybe we could talk then..._ "

I was surprised, "Uh, ok, I have to take Cassidy to school, Liv but you're welcome to stay until I return."

I could hear her smiling, " _Yes, I'll wait_."

We hung up. When I returned to Cassidy's room she was struggling to put on her tights. I tittered at the sight and went in to help her. We finished up and we went to school to drop her off. On my way back I pondered on what Olivia had said on the phone. Personal, what did she mean about personal? Personal to whom? Was she in danger? Were we in danger? I couldn't focus on anything else, not even when Romo opened my door to usher me inside.

Once inside, Olivia was waiting for me on the couch. She stands as she sees me and pulls me in for an embrace. We reveled in the feel of our bodies together and we didn't say anything. A month of short answers, quick phone calls, and chaste kisses that didn't go unnoticed by the kids and those surrounding us. Her excuse, we were out of synch; mine, we were fine.

It felt good to have her in my arms again this way. I missed her. I missed her scent. I missed her body. I missed her warmth. Just then, she pulls back and captures my lips in a long kiss. She poured it all in that kiss, I could feel it.

She conveyed all the feelings and words that she couldn't seem to express or want to express in that kiss. When we broke apart we rested our foreheads together, "I'm sorry," she whispered against my face. I smiled and nodded, capturing her lips within mine. I dragged her to the couch and we sat together. Cuddling. Kissing. Enjoying our time together. No words needed to be exchanged; I understood what she was trying to say. She understood what I was trying to say too. This is was we needed.

* * *

(Olivia's POV)

Somewhere along the way, we fell asleep. It felt good to have her in my arms again, she smelled good; like honey and vanilla. I woke up and she wasn't in my arms any longer. The apartment was quiet, eerily quiet. I stood quickly and looked in the rooms, she wasn't there. I opened the door and went outside to speak to the Marshall, "Marshall, where's Mariel?"

"Uh, hey Lieutenant. She's reconnecting with one of the old agents that used to take care of her. She's in good hands Lieutenant."

 _Was she though?_ "How long has she been gone?"

Romo looked at his watch, "Going on three hours now."

"Three hours, Marshall?" I narrowed my eyes at him, which was excessive, even for her.

He raised his palms, "You know how she is, Lieutenant."

I ran my hands through my hair and went back upstairs. Opening the door I looked for my phone, it was sitting next to her silver wristwatch; the same wristwatch that she was wearing when she walked through the door. _Something is not right._ I grab my phone and dialed her number. I hear muffled ringing and I furrow my brow and follow it. In her room, atop her nightstand I see her phone. _She would never leave without her phone, something is definitely not right._ I glance at my phone and notice is past three in the afternoon, how long were we asleep for? My gut is screaming at me that something is definitely not right; always go with your first instinct. I reach for my phone and dial Alex's number.

" _Homicide, Cabot_ ," she introduces herself.

"Hey Al, it's Liv."

" _Hey Liv, what's going on?_ "

I clear my throat and hesitate, "Uh, it's Mariel."

" _Did something happen to her? Is she ok? Where is she?_ " She mumbles quickly.

"Alex, Alex, stop, take a quick breath," I hear her sigh on the other end of the line, "I don't know, apparently she's been gone for three hours."

" _What? Why the fuck does she has intel for if they don't know where she is!_ "

"I don't know Lex, meet me at the precinct please. Something doesn't feel right. I'll let her Marshall know."

" _Alright, see you then Liv._ "

I gather my belongings and call Lucy, letting her know to please make sure to pick up Cass from her afterschool program and to meet me at the precinct. Outside, I let Romo know about my suspicions and whilst he is berating his self he calls for Agent Ford who was supposedly to keep Mariel company with Agent Jaxon Rogers, "She's not answering Lieutenant," Romo lets me know and that statement alone exacerbates my suspicions. We part and drive back to the precinct meanwhile I place a call to the precinct to let them know that we've been looking at this completely wrong.

I was rushing through mid-afternoon traffic. With school just out of session and me making my way to Manhattan, the bridges were bound to be crowded. I hated the thought of over-abusing my civic power; I turn on the sirens and see through my rearview mirror that the tinted SUV behind me does the same. I call the sirens in and receive confirmation from dispatch as we make way through the busy streets of New York. I say my silent prayer and hope that someone is listening. Not just for my sake but for the sake of the kids as well. How was I to explain that rogue FBI agents had possibly kidnapped Mariel? How was I supposed to explain that to a five and seven-year-old?

I arrive in the bullpen just as Alex is asking for me, "Al, I'm here," I say as I push through the threshold.

"Olivia," she breathes, "any news?"

Romo catches up to me, "No, and I can't call her because she doesn't have her phone."

Alex's eyes water and her lip trembles and once her icy stare lands on the Marshall she growls and lunges forward, pointing at him, "You were supposed to protect her! Where were you?"

Fin saw the exchange and with his help, we were able to pull Alex off of the robust man, "Counselor, Counselor," Fin shouted, "easy, we'll find her."

"Liv," Amanda makes her presence known, "what's going on?"

I squeeze Alex's hand and lead the rest of the squad to the media room where everything is placed and lain out. Multiple pictures of our three victims are scattered and placed over the board, "Lieu," Carisi begins, "we found out the connection between the three victims. All three of them apparently knew each other from dressage competition. Whatever that means," he finishes.

"Dressage?" Alex speaks, standing and walking to the board.

"What is it, Alex?" I ask, seeing the flustered look across her face.

She looks at me with more tears threatening to fall from her eyes, "She competed in dressage," Alex's tears fell and reached her chin quickly.

"Who competed?" Fin asked, clearly confused with our exchange.

I looked over at Marshall Romo and he nodded in approval, "Wait guys, look at this," Carisi interrupted before I could get a word in, "Why didn't we look at a picture of all the victims together, don't they look alike?"

We all stared at the board and noticed what Carisi had pointed out. All three of our victims, Valerie Tompkins, Priscilla Rhodes, and Vera-Carmen Simonet bore an uncanny resemblance. They all had tanned skin, long jet-black hair, and had light eyes. If we didn't know any better, you would think that they were sisters or at least related in some sort of way, "Don't they look like the Doc?" Carisi said innocently.

"Shit," Fin uttered, "he's right! Liv, what is going on here?"

I chance a glance at Alex who has been holding on for far too long. I sigh and remove my glasses, "Guys, we think that this has been a plot all along in order to reach the _real_ target, Victoria Reyes."

"Didn't she go missing sixteen years ago?" Fin asked.

"Uh," I scratched my brow, "not really. Mariel Marti is Victoria Reyes," I say with a sigh and look at my team. Amanda was sitting with the computer, Carisi was rubbing his chin in disbelief, and Fin's mouth just hung agape.

"Victoria Thalia Paige Reyes, daughter of philanthropist, art collector, and restaurateur Emilio Xavier Reyes," Rollins began, "went missing the night before her fourteenth birthday leaving behind twin sister Vienna Carolina Sky Reyes and mother, Vivian," she looked at Alex, "Says here, Counselor, you were her best friend."

Alex sniffled and sat straighter, attempting to reel in her emotions, "Was and still am, Detective. Though, I didn't know she was alive and fine until Thanksgiving."

"She went into WitSec after her father found her bleeding profusely the night before her birthday. Her sister had attempted to murder her by perforating her left lung. Thankfully, the blade got caught on a rib and it prevented her from dying. She's been in hiding and protection since she was fourteen. She _is_ a real doctor."

Carisi was standing in front of the presentation board, "Lieu, you said left lung?" he finished pointing at the evidence photos and I nodded, "Didn't all of our vics died by exsanguination by a perforated left lung?"

I stood quickly and approached the board, taking in everything that had been said. How could I have been so oblivious? How could I be so consumed in my work that I didn't notice the resemblance in both appearances and stories? I was consumed in trying to solve these murders that I never once stopped to gain perspective and now, I had put in danger the woman I love, the woman that only wanted me to treat her as a equal, the woman that wanted me to open up to her and let her in, yet, once more, I had been too vested in my job and had given her the cold shoulder… for what?

"Hey Lieutenant," Amanda pulled me from my thoughts, "I just noticed this from the poem," she handed me a copy of the card and she had circled the first letter of each line.

 _Victory to those who  
_ _Thoroughly are attentive to details,  
_ _Passionate, in all their pursuits  
_ _Rational, ever logical;  
_ _Or like the sea, she too will be undiscovered._

"They were baiting us all along. Read the poem, 'thoroughly are attentive to details', and we failed, we fucking failed," I finished, shouting, kicking the chair nearest to me. I puffed and closed my eyes, willing my anger back.

"The initials of the victims," Fin said.

"What?" Alex spoke.

"Their initials, Valerie Tompkins—VT. Priscilla Rhodes—PR. Aren't those the doctor's initials?" Fin concluded nonchalantly.

"If they had the two victims that made up the initials of the doctor, why kill a third one?" Romo final spoke.

Alex's head shot up, eyes wide in fear, "It's Vienna!"

"What? Her sister?" Rollins said.

Alex nodded, "Why would her sister be behind these murders?" Rollins asked.

"She's not right, mentally," Romo begun, "She was diagnosed with GDD when she turned thirteen. Victoria has always said that she believes that she was misdiagnosed."

"Plus," Alex interrupted, "Vera-Carmen's initials are Vienna's."

"I don't follow Counselor," Carisi said.

"Vienna Carolina Sky Reyes—Vera-Carmen Simonet _Reitano_ ," Alex said matter-of-factly.

"Jesus," I mumbled as I pushed my hands through my hair.

"Liv, you're bleeding," Alex nearly shouted.

I touched my neck and pulled my fingers to my eyesight, revealing a dot of blood. Romo approached me and studied my neck, "You were drugged Lieutenant," he said, handing me a napkin.

"Do you have dry mouth, dizziness, or nausea?"

I blinked twice, centering my thoughts, "Actually, all of them," I chuckled as Romo and Fin helped me to a chair.

"You were given a shot of salt water. That's why you were able to sleep so soundly, you were dehydrated. It's an FBI tactic. Rogers was the one that taught me that… son of a bitch."

We all saw Romo storm out as he fetched for his phone. As we continued to compartmentalize the case that had now taken a turn for the worst we were going on six hours of not having heard anything from Mariel or as we were now referring to her as, Victoria. The rest of her team at the Bureau had been notified, including her father. No one expected him to show up at the precinct like a hurricane.

I smiled at the thought of her exuding the same behavior that I was now too familiar with. I could see where she had gotten her looks; she was a spitting image of her father; caramel skin, jet hair, and that never-ending fire for doing what's right. The sight of Lucy and Noah yanked me from my thoughts, "Lucy," I begun, looking behind her for Cass, "where's Cassidy?"

"Oh," she said, confused, "uh, school said that she had been picked up by her mother at three. I t—thought you knew?"

My eyes watered and I faltered. If it weren't for Lucy, I would've fallen, "Liv, a—are you ok? Help!"

The rest of the squad was quick on their feet to come to my aid, "Liv, what's going on?" Amanda's soothing voice rang loud in my ears.

"She's gone," I mumbled lowly.

"We're going to get her back, Olivia. We promise," she said.

"Cassidy is gone," my vision got clouded with tears.

"What was that?"

"Cassidy is gone!" I shouted at Amanda, my tears hot on my face.

"Liv," Lucy's hand was at my shoulder, pulling me slightly to turn to her, "You're scaring him," she whispered.

I saw Noah's face, his face pulled in in confusion. He had never seen me with an outburst like that. I was clearly upset but this was not the way to behave in front of my son. I turned around and the first person on my line of vision was Alex. Like me, she too was crying. She was being consoled by Fin, "Alex," I mumbled, causing her to nearly run into my embrace.

"Mommy," Noah cooed, his lip trembling as he hugged my leg. He needed me; he needed me to be strong for him. They both needed me right now. Alex for support of losing her best friend twice now and my son… Jesus, my son. What was I to tell him now? He had grown ridiculously attached to Victoria and Cassidy. He called her Mama for Christ's sake. They couldn't be here, not right now. I needed for them to be safe.

* * *

 _ **Victoria's POV**_

"Mama, I want to go home with Mommy and Noah, please," Cassidy said between sobs, clinging to my sides.

Someone pulling my hair at my apartment had waked me and at first, the person doing it had elicited a smile on my face but after a small conversation, I had come to notice that he wasn't there for pleasantries. He was there for revenge, he was there to get even for me "costing" him his dream job all those years back after my first attempted kidnap. He was the agent assigned to me when he got distracted and the men grabbed me. He had been let go immediately afterwards. He always said no hard feelings but I should've known better. What surprised me most was when I followed protocol and Agent Ford simply gave me an impish smile and scoffed. She was in on it too. Hopefully, Olivia had seen my wristwatch; it was the only way I could leave a message without actually touching her.

I had begged and fought for them to let me pick up Cassidy. I knew that in her still fragile mental state, me not being there could've and would've been a set back that I could not afford and neither could Olivia. Thankfully, I had appointed her legal guardian if anything were to happen to me, though she did not know this but now that we were in this situation, I would have to tell Cassidy everything she needed to relay and I would pray that the Bureau and the SVU squad would find me before my sister's mental health would succumb to something far worse. I was chained by my wrists and sat at on a wooden chair against a wall. It was cold in the room, cold and dark. The only sliver of light casting on the little area came from a candelabrum that sat atop a three-leg table, "I know baby, I know," I said as I leaned my head down to kiss her head, "I need you to be really brave Cassidy, ok? I'm going to get you back to Olivia."

Cassidy sniffled and nodded, "Are you coming too?" she said, swiping her hand over her cheek, removing strands of hair that had stuck to her face from her tear-stained face.

"No, baby," I said, willing my tears back, "I have to stay here but I want you to be safe and happy."

"No Mama!" she yelled, clinging to my body, "I want to stay with you," she sobbed.

Cassidy clung to my body like her life depended on it. We had been in this room for quite some time but there is no way to tell time when you're being held against your own will. I could feel Cassidy's eyelashes against my skin, soothing butterfly kisses were the only thing that kept me sane and calm. It was her; the little body attached to mine that kept me calm. I was doing this for her.

"Cass," I cooed.

She lifted her head up to look at me, eyes bloodshot from all the crying, "Baby, I am going to tell you some things and I need you to remember them, ok?" I whisper, not knowing if someone could be listening.

She nods and leans closer, "Ok, I'm going to try to convince them to take you to Olivia, when they do you have to tell Amanda that Jaxon Rogers and Melanie Ford were the ones that took us. Tell them that Olivia was drugged with GHB or Liquid X. And, Cass, most importantly, you tell them that Vienna is behind all of this. She always had the help of Rogers and Ford."

Cassidy nodded against my body and though I knew this could be much for a child her age, I had complete and total faith that she could execute this. It was not long before I felt her breathing change, she was asleep, which could only mean one thing, this day was coming to an end but it was only the beginning to them.

* * *

 _ **Olivia's POV**_

It was already past nine in the evening and we still had no leads. We didn't know where Victoria was. We didn't know what had happened to her and Cassidy. We didn't know how long was it going to be before we would see them again. We didn't know. I had taken Noah and Alex back to Victoria's place, it was the only place where I knew I could possibly get some sleep. The only place where I knew my body could consider sleep—it knew that I, at least, had the memory of her scent lingering through that I was able to reach bliss. Alex had not wanted to leave my side. She wanted to be near me at all times claiming that she too wanted to know any lead as soon as it came in. She had cried herself to sleep on Victoria's side of the bed, her body flushed to the pillow that harbored her scent. Noah slept in Cassidy's bed; he stirred and shifted before finally being able to succumb in slumber.

I, I sat and thought. Thought about if I hadn't let my guard down, she would've never been in danger; she would've never been taken away; they would've never been able to impale me and I could've saved her. I was angry at the Marshall and the rest of her intel for not protecting her, for letting their guard down with one of their own. I was even angrier at Romo, her Marshall, the person that was not supposed to leave her side under any circumstance for yielding at the sight of an "old friend", which I later came to learn was the same agent that almost got her kidnapped the first time. But, in all honesty, I was angrier at myself for not noticing the signs and clues that were left by her abductors, for not making the connection her story bore to the one's from the victims, for not realizing the uncanny resemblance the victims and her held. This could all have been avoided if I had just listened and noticed all the details.

"You know, mentally berating yourself is not going to bring her back," Alex's cool voice interrupted my reproach.

I scoffed and smiled sardonically, "How could I'd been so stupid?" I looked up to the woman leaning against the wall at the end of the hallway, my tears rolling down my cheeks.

Alex quickly approached me, wrapping me in her arms, "No stop. You worked this as best as you possibly could. No one could've known that this was all a cruel satire formulated by a very disturbed woman."

"I could've known if I had just… paid… attention," I bit back the words as I spoke them, continuing to scold myself for the mistake.

"Olivia, stop," Alex chided, "This is not your fault. It is no one's fault but the people responsible. Look at me, look at me," she said as she held me at arm's length, "I need you to get a grip, Olivia. I need you to save her," she said, her voice breaking, "I just got her back and I'm not ready to let go. I know you'll find her. If there's any one in this whole damn city that I trust to find her, it's SVU. I believe in you Olivia, I have complete and utter faith in you. Please, don't give up."

Alex's eyes had always been my favorite feature on her. They always relayed such conviction, such power, and security but all that remained now was fear, exhaustion, and a little sliver of hope. She did have faith in me. She did believe in me to find her best friend and my lover. I couldn't give up now. I couldn't continue to sulk and berate myself over something that I have no control in changing. Now, I did have control over what to do next and how to continue to handle this investigation. Officially, I was off the case. Unofficially, I could come and go as I pleased and I knew I had the support New York's Elite Squad. I nodded and smiled at Alex, wrapping my arms around her body, feeling her relax and give in to my touch. I needed to know what we had gathered. I needed to know if I could help in any way, "Alex, would you mind staying here and watching Noah? I want to go back to the precinct and see what developments they have."

"Yes, yes; go!"

I smiled and stood, collecting my shield and gun and securing them in place at my hip, "Olivia," Alex stopped me, "Please be safe and let me know if you find anything," her eyes plead.

"I will Alex, I will."

It didn't take me long to arrive at the precinct. My thoughts were everywhere. They were with her, with Cassidy, with Alex, with Noah… I couldn't concentrate on anything and though it made for a shorter drive to the precinct, it wasn't exactly ideal for my safety. Walking through the bullpen, I could hear and see the commotion. Between my detectives and the FBI's agents, there was not a single body in the building that didn't have something to do.

"Liv, you can't be here," Fin spoke, weaving between two of the agents.

"The hell I can! Fin, she's my girlfriend, what the hell am I supposed to do? Please, let me help. If you have to go on the field, I'll stay here and I wont participate in any interview," I bargained, "Please," I said, emphasizing with my hands.

Fin nodded and gave me a wry smile, "Thank you," I sighed, giving his shoulder a squeeze, "What do we have?" I yelled, pushing past the commotion towards the rest of the squad.

"We were able to pull the security footage from in front of the duplex and the school," Rollins began, "Here's what we have so far," she finished, turning the iPad over to show me.

There she was, looking disheveled but composed as Rogers gripped her elbow and made way to Romo and Ford. They stopped and spoke to them for a few minutes before what looks like a very flirtatious exchange between him and Ford takes place. Victoria keeps fidgeting, looking back to the top of the stairs as if she was willing me to stay put? _She didn't want me to wake up?_ They wave goodbye to Romo and hop into one of the SUV's that was always parked outside of her home.

"Ok," Amanda said, swiping on the screen to reveal the next video, "This is in front of Marymount School, we have two vantage points. This is the first one," she said as she hit play.

Victoria appeared on the screen accompanied by Agent Ford and a few minutes later she exited with Cassidy clung to her body. There was an obvious gap of nearly two and a half hours from the time they left the duplex from the time they were at the school which, the only thing that came to mind was the fact that she was being held somewhere before she was allowed to pick Cassidy up from school.

"Second vantage point," Amanda said as she swiped her finger once more across the screen revealing footage from a pole cam from across the street.

You could see on the grain video Ford, Victoria, and Cassidy getting in an unmarked vehicle. It was an old blue four door sedan, "They ditched the SUV smart," I say as Rollins nods and we watch as the sedan pulls away quickly, "Wait, send this to TARU, we might be able to get some partial plates out of this grainy ass video."

"Already on it Liv," Rollins conceded, "We're waiting to hear back from them. Once we do, we'll run them through all the EZ Pass and tolls in the tri-state area."

I nodded and walked back to my office, settling in and waiting to hear back from TARU.

* * *

 _ **Two days later**_

Two days. It had already been two days since both Victoria and Cassidy had disappeared. Two days that the squad and I had barely seen our homes and had barely slept. I had ordered them to take a couple of hours each to go home and get some rest, they had all gone reluctantly, but they've gone. Fin had to nearly threaten me with Chief Dodds in order for me to leave the precinct. Alex had spent every night since at Victoria's duplex caring for Noah when she wasn't at work. We had sent out BOLO's for the partial plates that we had recovered from TARU as well as pictures of Victoria and Cassidy. The tip-line had given us bogus leads but it gave us good ones that also lead to nothing. Everything we had led to nothing.

I had gone back to the duplex to get some rest and see Noah, though I doubted that at this time and hour of the night he could be awake but at least I had the comfort that I was there with him. It was the weekend and if no leads came through, I had promise both myself and Alex that I was to spend the day with them. I was not abandoning the case nor was I putting the situation of my lover in the back burner but my son needed me and I needed to be with him too. Every time I walked through the threshold of the apartment, I prayed almost instantly that this was just a very bad dream and Cassidy would come running to greet me and I'd see Mariel, well Victoria in the kitchen asking me if I wanted to eat.

Swallowing my tears I push the door open and the sight that blessed my eyes was a heavenly one. Alex and Noah were curled up on the couch together. My guess, they fell asleep whilst Alex read to Noah. I approached the blonde and the sleeping child in her arms and carried him to Cassidy's room, placing a kiss on his forehead and whispering my love to him. I exited the room only to be met by tiresome blue eyes, offering her a sheep smile, I nodded towards the bedroom; a silent invite that she accepted. Alex cried in my arms and I swallowed mine in an attempt to be strong for her, she deserved at least that much. It wasn't until I heard deep, even breaths coming from the blonde that I was able to fall asleep.

It was loud. Too loud for the silence the night offered. I fluttered my eyes open, searching for the blaring sound that my phone emitted, "Benson," I said, yawning.

" _Liv, we need you at Bellevue, now. They gave her back to us,_ " Fin spoke on the other side.

I sat up quickly, waking Alex up in the process, "What? When?"

Alex searched my face, blinking away her slumber, " _Just come in woman, we'll bring you up to speed._ "

He hung up.

"What? Did they find them? Are they alive?" Alex's questions came through one behind the other.

I opened and closed my mouth, not sure what to think or say. I sighed and closed my eyes, centering my thoughts and piecing them together, "Whoa, Al, slow down," I ran my fingers through my hair, "That was Fin, he's at Bellevue. He said that they needed me there and that _they_ had given her back to us."

Alex's eyes watered, "Which her, Olivia?"

"I—I don't know," I said getting up from the bed, just now realizing that Alex's question was a valid one that I didn't think to ask.

Alex sat on the bed, knees pulled into her chest, her arms circled around her legs, holding them in place, "Please be alive, please."

"Hey, hey," I cooed softly, bringing her body closer to mine, "don't think that way. First, we find out which of our girls they gave us back and then we ask the hard questions, ok?" She nodded, her response was robotic, "Alex, look at me," I said, grabbing her chin between my forefinger and thumb, "they are going to be fine. Breathe Al, ok?"

She took a few deep breaths as she nodded, "Thank you," she said shakily, "Now please go, and keep me posted."

I nodded and quickly stood, gathering my stuff and leaving for the hospital.

At the hospital there was a swarm of police officers both from the one-six and the Midtown North Precinct in Hell's Kitchen. As I was making my way through the swarm of blue, Rollins spots me, "Liv," she yelled out my name.

I snap my head towards her direction, "Amanda, what's going on?"

"It's Cassidy," my stomach dropped to my toes and my heart soon followed, "some drunk kids found her on Columbus Circle passed out. Thankfully they weren't completely drunk to call nine one one. The guys from the one-eight responded and rushed to scene after calling a bus in. Officer Francis recognized her from the BOLO and called the precinct where one of our officers—Norris—called Fin in."

Amanda spoke quickly as she walked me to the pediatric wing of the hospital, "Jesus, how is she? Have you seen her?"

"No, no one has told us anything and they won't even let us in there to speak to her because we don't have parental consent," Amanda rolled her eyes.

I nodded and walked to the nurse's station, "Lieutenant Olivia Benson," I said showing my shield, "Cassidy Marti, what room is she in?"

The clerk looked up from her monitor, "I'm sorry Lieutenant, we haven't been able to reach or find her par—"

"That's because her mother, who happens to be my girlfriend was kidnapped by some psychopath. Up to a few hours ago, she was with her as well. That's my daughter for Christ's sake, what room?" I grumbled, raising my voice, causing both Rollins and Carisi to rush to my side, each placing a hand at my shoulder preventing me to lunge forward.

The clerk stuttered and blinked rapidly, "Ma'am the room… NOW," Amanda chimed in.

"Bed ten, down the hall to your right," she pointed where Cassidy was.

I bolted down the hallway, weaving through nurses and doctors until I reached Cassidy's door. I slid it and entered. There she was, her body consumed by the bed, scrapes on her knees and legs, hands, and face. Her hair a matted mess, her eyes sunken… My body wrecked with continuous silent sobs at the sight before me, "Liv," Fin spoke, "you shouldn't be in here."

"Fin, I am not leaving her side until she wakes up!"

"Mom—Mommy," Cassidy stirred and shifted, her eyes fluttering open.

I rushed to her side, gripping her small hand, "Yes baby, it's me, I'm here," I said between sobs, my free hand pushing stray strands from her face.

She turned to look at me, her eyes brimming with un-shed tears, "They're hurting Mama," she said before her body shook with loud sobs.

"Oh sweet pea," I said, pulling her into an embrace, "shh, shh, it's ok. We're going to find her," I mentioned as I ran my hand along her back, "We will."

She lifted her head and sniffled, "O—Okay," she mumbled, "Mama said to talk to Amanda about what happened. She said to tell you that, that," she heaved in an attempt to control the remnants of her sobs, "in the first drawer on the desk in the den are papers that you need."

I looked at her dark brown eyes, those beautiful doe eyes, "Ok baby," I leaned and kissed her forehead, "I'm going to leave to let you talk to Amanda, ok?"

"No! NO! NO!" she yelled.

"Hey, hey, Cass," I said, holding her face between my hands, "I'll be outside the door, it's going to be ok."

She shook her head and opened her eyes wide, "Please, don't leave me. Please Mommy, stay. Stay with me, Mommy," she pleads as she gripped my hands, tugged at the lapels of my coat, nearly climbing on me.

"Ok, ok," I cooed, picking her up from the bed and chancing a glance to Fin. He nodded and exited the room, "Ok, I'll stay."

Amanda pulled a chair and Carisi pulled another one near the bed for him to sit. I attempted to sit Cassidy back on the bed but she wasn't letting go of the power grip around my neck and waist. I motioned to Carisi and he acquiesced his chair to me. Sitting down, Cassidy adjusted to our new position.

"Alright sweet girl, you ready?" Amanda began.

Cassidy gave her a nod.

"What do you remember happening?" Amanda asked.

"Mama picked me up from school with Agent Ford. She said that I was not going to Crafty Reading."

"Then, what happened?" Carisi asked softly.

"We got into a blue car, it smelled like cigarettes," she said.

"How do you know they were cigarettes, Cass?" Carisi eased the question.

"The man that had chained me to the bed used to burn me with them," she said, touching her stomach where her cigarette burns lain.

Carisi nodded, "What happened next?"

"I was scared because we weren't going home. I started to ask Mama questions and the man that was driving yelled at me to shut up. I cried but Mama said that I had to be brave for her that I couldn't cry. I told her yes and then the car stopped, it was three fifty; the little radio on the car had the time. He got out of the car and he grabbed Mama by the hair and pulled her out of the car," Cassidy's eyes were beginning to water and God help me, I wanted to stop the interview right then and there but I knew better than to interrupt and interview. She would tell us when she was ready to stop, "I screamed but the man yelled at me to stop and Mama slapped him hard but he hit her back telling her to control me or else," she sniffled, "He put a scarf over Mama's eyes and then he pulled me out of the car and put one on me too."

"Good Cass, you're doing so good," Amanda awarded, "Now, you say it was three fifty, was there traffic?"

"Just a little bit."

"Do you know where you were going? Did anything seem familiar?" Amanda asked.

Cassidy shook her head; "We were about to go over water when he stopped the car."

"You're doing very good Cass," Carisi said, his voice oozed in contentment, finally something useful, "What happened next?"

"The car moved and then we stopped again. He made us walk and then we went downstairs. It was cold. I was holding Mama's hand and then I wasn't but when he took my scarf off, Mama was sitting on a chair and her hands were chained to the wall," Cassidy was now openly crying at the reminder of her mother in chains, "I ran over to her and sat on her lap and took off her scarf. She said, 'Thank God nothing happened to you.' I couldn't stop crying, Mommy," she looked at me, pleading for forgiveness that she didn't even need, "I wasn't strong like you or Mama. I'm sorry," she circled her arms around my neck and I shushed and rocked her slightly.

"It's ok sweet pea, it's ok. You did nothing wrong. I am so proud of you Cass," she lifted her head, "I am so proud of you babe," I said kissing her nose, willing my tears back, "Can you finish talking to Amanda and Sonny?"

She sniffled and nodded, "Ok sweets," Amanda started, "What happened after you went downstairs?"

"They left and they came back a while later with a woman that looked just like Mama but she had hair like Mommy's and yellow and green eyes. Mama called her Vienna," my body tensed at the sound of her name, "Mama said to let you know, 'Manda, that Jaxon Rogers and Melanie Ford are the people who took us and to remember that Mommy was drugged with HGB or Liquix."

"GHB," Carisi looked at Amanda, "Liquid X, Cass?" Carisi asked.

"Yes, yes!" The redhead exclaimed at her mishap of words, "They gave it to me too," she motioned as she pulled her hair away from her neck.

"What," I whispered, pulling Cassidy's face towards me so that I could have a better look at her neck, "Oh baby," I whispered again, thumbing the skin of her neck.

Amanda looked furious and Carisi, well Carisi stood and left when he saw the bruise on Cassidy's neck. Just at that moment the doctor came through the door, "Hello Mrs. Benson, I'm Dr. Masters, I understand that your wife is the biological mother of Cassidy?"

"Uh, actually, she was adopted a few months ago," I conceded, not wanting to say much.

"Oh, that's fine. Now, am I able to speak freely?" she said, looking at Amanda.

"Yes, yes, please."

"We ran some tests whilst she was still unconscious. She was a little dehydrated, that's why we have fluids going through her and we found traces of GHB in her system. Usually, the dosage that was given to her, to a regular adult would cause little to no damage but, according to her records, she was exposed to crystal meth and cocaine as well in the past."

"Yes, uh, she was abused but she's been clean for about nine months now."

Dr. Masters nodded, "Since her body was exposed to long-term usage of drugs, she might go into withdrawal so I want to keep her for a couple of days," she walked towards Cassidy, "Hey there pretty girl, can your Mommy put you on the bed so that I can assess you?"

Cassidy recoiled, her body flushed to mine, and her eyes wide, "Cass," I said softly as I stroked her cheek, "how about if I get in the bed with you?"

She nodded and conceded. I stood and the doctor lowered the railing, allowing me to sit on the bed with Cassidy. Cassidy half lay, half sat between my legs as the doctor assessed her, "Cassidy, can you tell me if you feel hot or cold?"

"Cold," she said.

"I see," the doctor mumbled as she scribbled something on her pad.

"What's going on Doctor?" I asked, pulling Cassidy towards my body.

"She's already entering withdrawal. She's a little diaphoretic but since she's cold…"

"Cold sweat, shit," I finished, running my hands through her forehead.

"I'll order some more fluids for her with added medication and keep her for observation. After a few days, I'll re-assess her and if everything seems to be in order, we'll release her. Just be warned," she paused as she reached the door, "it's about to get tough. She'll experience euphoria, anger, lethargy, cold sweats… she'll be moody but it'll all pass. This, unfortunately, was an unforeseen relapse and her body is definitely reacting to it."

She offered us a sheep smile and left the room.

I cradled Cassidy against my body, being mindful of her IV line, "Call Alex, please. Tell her about the papers in the den and, Amanda," I paused, searching her face, "Thank you."

My blonde subordinate nodded and left the room and with that slumber threaten my body, "Cassidy baby, Mommy is tired," I whispered against her hair and it was then that I noticed that she was already asleep. I accommodated our bodies so that she could rest comfortably atop the bed but her plans were others. God only knows if she was comfortable where they had kept her and Victoria but all she craved was comfort and touch. She needed to be sure that I was not going anywhere and though I wasn't, subconsciously, she didn't know that. I just needed her back.


	17. Chapter 17

_**Chapter 17**_

It had been a tough weekend and following week altogether. When the doctor said that Cassidy was going to be experiencing different moods due to her signs of withdrawal, I hadn't expected it to be that bad. Thankfully, I had the help of Alex. She had been able to take off some time from work to be with Cassidy in the hospital. Though, the request came un-asked for, it was most certainly welcomed. Cassidy was experiencing more and more signs of what the psychologist at the hospital deemed as "abandonment". Even though, I was here and so were Alex and Noah, she felt abandoned by her biological mother, Ms. Track, and now, Victoria. It was subconsciously but nonetheless there and she needed someone consistently there with her.

After the first night of Cassidy's return, Alex had found the papers that Victoria had told Cass about. She had signed and filed papers for me to be Cassidy's legal guardian if something were to happen to her and Alex also found adoption papers that could make me Cassidy's other parent legally. Of course I would've signed the adoption papers had she asked but what I wanted to know now was, why did she hold back?

What exactly what she waiting for?

It had been a week of Cass' return and Victoria's disappearance. The days at the squad turned tedious and longer by the second but thanks to Cassidy, we were able to track the journey up to nearly Harlem where we lose track of them completely. It adds up to Cassidy's timeline but the hard part was locating the bridge where they had gone over water. No hits had been found on any of the tolls in the city or any EZ Pass booths in the tri-state area. It was as if they had disappeared out of thin air but I was determined. I had to find her. I needed to find her.

* * *

 _ **Victoria's POV**_

"Hey, wake up," I heard faintly as she kicked the corner of the mattress.

I groaned and lifted my head, slowly opening my eyes and willing my cold body to move, "Here," she handed me a sandwich and a bottle of water, "I'm not even supposed to be doing this but you really don't deserve this," she finished as she helped me up to a sitting position.

"Then why are you doing this, Agent Ford?" I croaked, urgently taking a bite out of the much-needed food that my body had been neglected for what I counted as eight days.

She shrugged, "Your sister is paying good money and I need it. My, uh, my mother…" she paused, willing her thoughts back and standing up straighter, "It doesn't matter. Now, hurry up. They can't know I'm feeding you."

I looked at her through my lashes and nibbled at the sandwich. There had to be a way that I could psychoanalyze her and find her weakness. Of course her mother was a touchy subject and I couldn't start there, "What made you change your mind?"

"Huh?" she stopped her pacing and gave me a funny look. I motioned to the contents of my hands, "Does it matter? I mean, do you want them or not, because I will gladly take them away!"

"Oh, don't give me that Melanie. You don't strike me as the hard ass," I tittered as I took another bite of my food.

She glared at me, "So, what's Vienna's plan? I mean, I'm sure you can tell me since I guess I'm going to die anyways, right?" I laughed maniacally.

"I don't know, she is honestly crazy though. She hasn't been back here since that first day that we brought you in. After Jaxon cleared it with her that we could release the kid, we haven't heard from her."

Ok, she was talking, "Where is Jaxon now? I mean, I'm sure he's not here seeming as your act of kindness here," I said sarcastically.

She started towards me and reached for my food and beverage, "No, no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she cocked and eyebrow and straighten her body.

"He went to get something, he should be back soon so hurry it up."

I nodded and finished my sandwich and downed my bottle of water. I gave her my thanks and she left me again in the darkness and dampness of the cold cellar. The first two days that we were here they had brought food and water for Cassidy but my little fire engine had only eaten and had insisted on giving me her drink. The sight of me chained to that chair had obviously triggered some memories for her. She was the strongest kid I've ever met and not because I was raising her but because she was able to memorize everything I had asked her to and she had remained remotely calm over it all. Of course she was scared, she had to be but at my request, she was brave.

I wondered if Olivia had found her, if she was with Olivia, if they had figure out yet where the hell it was that they were keeping me. After Harlem, we had been blindfolded but we were able to take a glimpse of the bridge that we were about to go over but after that, everything had been sounds and the repugnant smell of stale cigarettes.

I was able to drift off and will my body to warm up with the thin sheet they had provided me with. I was no longer chained to the wall but every now and again, when I would get out of line, they would sit me there and cuff me to the wall for hours on end. The hard yanking of my hair was the thing that woke me up and when I fluttered my eyes open all I saw was Jaxon's wild eyes, "Get your ass up," he slapped me hard across my face, opening the wound he had caused on my cheek a couple of days earlier.

He pulled me to a standing position and dragged me to the chair, getting a hold of one of my wrists as he secured it on the chain, "No, stop!" I said fighting against my restraints, "What are you doing? I've been good, no!"

He backhanded me and my sob was instant. He grabbed my hair and pulled my face forward, "Shut the fuck up! Are you forgetting who makes the rules here princess," he said as he licked my cheek.

I winced at the contact of his disgusting gesture and attempted to pull my head out of his grasp but that only served for fuel to his anger and he did it once more, "Please, stop," I silently pleaded.

"Oh, would you look at that, begging, like all those other girls did," he laughed.

I turned my head and spit at his face, the mixture of saliva and blood coated his cheek and part of his eye, "You fucking bitch," he said as he wiped his eye with his free hand. He released my hair and secured my other wrist on the chain.

As he stood straighter he punched me hard on my right ribcage, causing me to lose a gust of wind. As I heaved and coughed a blow to my left temple nearly blinded me. I was seeing white spots and I could feel the recoil of my brain against my skull. My sobs filled the room as well as the heaving sounds I was emitting in between my sobs. I couldn't see anything as my hair was all over my face and the white patches clouded my vision but I could feel him getting ready to deliver another blow and just as he was about to, the all-familiar voice filled the air, "Stop Rogers," my sister's voice rung in my ears.

"She spat at me," Rogers complained.

"I don't care what she did before I was here. She's been impersonating me all this time, so now that I finally have her, we need to send a message to the people looking for her to stop."

 _My God, she had seriously gotten worse_ , "Vienna," I heaved, willing my throbbing head up, my hair cascading down my sides and out of my face, "It's me, Victoria."

"No," she shouted as she paced around the small room, "Victoria died, I—I killed her. I killed her and my father made it all go away," she yelled out to the room, her mouth curled in a crazy smile, "I thought he loved her more but that night, that night proved that he loved me more than her."

"Vienna, he took me to the hospital and I had to have surgery because of the stab wound," I said swallowing the blood that had formed in my mouth.

"SHUT UP!" she grumbled loudly, causing me to jump in my seat.

In my exchange with my sister, I hadn't notice that Jaxon had been setting up a camera on a tripod. _What the hell was going on here?_ Panic set in and I resorted to my FBI training. Though, there wasn't much I could physically do since my hands were restrained and I didn't have much leeway. They had made sure of it.

"Now, we are going to send a video to your precious Olivia," she said mockingly, "You know, you are truly disgusting! Women? I would never go after women. I mean, of course women have thrown themselves at me, who wouldn't? Look at me," she said as she circled in place, "who wouldn't want me? I am irresistible."

I scoffed, "God, you need to be medicated, Vienna!"

She marched quickly in front of me and slapped me hard across the face, "You're the one that needs to be medicated for impersonating my dead sister," she turned around and stood next to Jaxon, "How long before we are live?" she asked.

 _Wait, live?_

"I just have to receive the call from my brother and we turn on the camera and everyone at the precinct will be able to see her."

"Great, hurry up."

And with that she left.

* * *

 _ **Olivia's POV**_

Physically, I was at the precinct. Mentally, I was with Victoria, Noah, and Cassidy back at the duplex watching movies and curled up on the couch up in the den. I was not able to concentrate for the life of me but perverts didn't stop being perverts because my lover had gone missing. We had other cases to solve, perps to interview, and of course, tackle the courthouse and try and put them away. I walked out of my office in an attempt to get home and be with Alex and the kids when all the monitors in the bullpen chimed and a pop-up started to play, "Lieutenant," Carisi nearly yelled.

I snapped my head up to catch a glimpse of the man's face, "What?" I looked around and saw everybody looking from me to their monitor, "What!" I asked more forcefully this time.

"Liv, come this way," Amanda and Fin directed me to the media room as Amanda plugged in her laptop to the big screen. And, there she appeared. Victoria was sitting in a wooden chair with her wrists chained to a wall behind her, just like Cassidy had said.

"I hope you are watching us Lieutenant Benson," Jaxon said, not even bothering to cover his face. His eyes were glossy and red, he was clearly under the influence of drugs, "Look, we have your little slut here," he said, pulling Victoria's beautiful locks back, straining her neck.

Her lip was bruised and cut, she had multiple scrapes and cuts across her face and chest but the thing that was most prominent on her features was the deep cut on her cheekbone and the bruising black and blue stain underneath her eye, "Is this live? Are you tracing this Amanda?"

"I'm trying Liv, I'm chatting with TARU right now, we're trying," the blonde said quickly.

"So tell her Victoria," he said mockingly, "Tell her!"

She heaved and sobbed, "I'm an impersonator," she said softly.

Jaxon slapped her and the anger coursed through my body, "SPEAK LOUDER!"

She whimpered and repeated her self, "I'm an impersonator," she sniffled, "The real Victoria died because Vienna killed her and their father cleaned up the mess."

I brought my hand to my mouth and controlled my emotions; "Vienna says that she needs me here longer before she disposes of me. She has to learn how I was able to be her without any body taking notice," she was crying openly now. Her chest was rising and falling, "I'm sorry," she mumbled lastly before everything went dark.

I stood there, tears clouding my eyes whilst everything around me moved slowly. Fin and Carisi spoke to me but everything was jumbled, nothing made sense. It wasn't until I felt the cool feel of a chair underneath that I reacted to everything surrounding me, "I—I have to get home, I can't be here," I whispered lowly as I stood, loosing my balance as I did.

"Whoa there, Lieutenant," Carisi spoke as he reached out for me, "Maybe I should drive you home, ok?"

I conceded, not really having a choice.

Back at the apartment, I filled Alex in. She had begged and begged to see the video, even after I had told her that it wasn't something she would want on her mind but there was no telling otherwise to the bold attorney. I surrendered and let her watch the video; her eyes brimmed with fresh tears as they threaten to fall against her face. She muffled her sobs with the hand against her face, not wanting the kids to wake from their peaceful slumber.

As I consoled Alex, my emotions got the best of me and we were both a heaping, crying mess. We consoled each other simultaneously. Our reassuring words serving for each of us just as much as it served to console the other. Cassidy barely slept through the night. Even with Noah, she almost always ended up in bed between Alex and I and soon after, Noah followed. We all clung to each other, using each other as a silent lifeline, conveying our love, our fears, our hope that we could have our mother, friend, and lover back. We all needed her back. We all wanted her back.


	18. Chapter 18

_**Chapter 18**_

 _ **Victoria's POV**_

Fifty days, I had counted fifty days in this cold basement. Fifty days that I hadn't seen my kids, fifty days that I hadn't seen my best friend, fifty days that I hadn't seen Olivia, fifty days; fifty of the coldest, saddest, and loneliest days of my life thus far. I cried nearly every night and when I slept, I thought only of Cassidy's birthday party. A day where we were all together and truly happy, not pretending like Olivia and I were afterwards; it was the night that Alex and I fell into known and comfortable territory, it was the night that I realized how blessed I was to have not only one but two little people that called me Mama. I missed them, God; I missed them with every fiber of my being.

There was barely any fight left in me. I was weak and tired. Melanie was the only one that fed me and when she did so it was sporadic. Most of the days when she did, she worried more and more about my wellbeing. She claimed that she didn't want to watch me die but yet, here I was, occasionally chained to a wall, beaten, and starved. I was tired, so, so tired. I'm sure I had fractured ribs, untreated concussions, and of course, nasty swelling and bruising all over my body.

All I wanted was to die but something within me egged me to fight on, something told me that the end was near but which end?

The one where I could be reunited with my family or the one where all my pain and suffering would be put to an end?

* * *

 _ **Olivia's POV**_

Nothing. We had nothing. It'd been a month and a half and we had nothing. I was anxious and on edge and everybody took notice of it. Every time we worked something we got knocked back to where we started. I was starting to think that we weren't going to find her and that it would have to be turned over to cold case but I wasn't letting go that easily, over my dead body. It was then, whilst I was berating myself that we finally caught a break, "Lieutenant," Amanda knocked on my door.

"Yes, Rollins," I said, placing my glasses atop my desk and rubbing my eyes.

"TARU might have something," she said with a slight smile on her face.

I quickly stood and made way to the media room where Fin and Carisi already stood, "Alright, so TARU has been working with the live feed of the video that was "sent" to us. They were also able to retrieve and access the virus that was placed into the precinct's computers," Fin began.

"From the looks of it, the virus was installed remotely but there had to have been a router installed or placed somewhere within the precinct in order for the person to hack only into this precinct," Carisi continued.

"So, TARU triangulated the three closest locations that were bounced around the US and across the pond and came up with these addresses," Amanda said, as I looked intently at the board, noticing an array of roughly twenty addresses, "We ran all of them and found this one," she said as she highlighted a particular address on Wickham Ave in the Bronx.

"When we ran the name, Serge here noticed that it was familiar, that he had seen it before," Carisi jumped in.

"Ok, whom does it belong to?" I asked.

Fin stretched his arm and handed me a business card, "Jace Sanders," I mumbled, "Why do we have his card?"

"He came in a couple of days before the video was sent leaving business cards to whomever was in charge. He said he was going floor to floor leaving the card for his new business," Fin said as he sat next to Amanda, "I explained to him that the NYPD handled everything in house but still, he left his card."

"Then," Carisi continued, "he came back the next day after the video had been transmitted, saying that he had lost something and was going floor by floor attempting to retrace his steps to see if he could find it."

I smiled and breathed easy, finally, someone we could possibly pin this on. As I was about to open my mouth to send Carisi and Fin to go and pick him up Amanda continued, "Wait Liv, there's more," she said, "I knew it," she drawled out, "I told TARU to run Valerie's, Stella's, Christopher's, and Priscilla's phone and match it with the same virus that hit our computers and it's a match."

"Fin and Carisi, go pick up the son of a bitch. Amanda, let us pay a visit to our favorite ADA."

They all nodded and left to their assigned tasks.

Back at the precinct, Amanda and I waited with Barba for the return of our other two detectives. We had sent a couple of uniforms to go and search his house, "Where the hell are they?" Barba was getting impatient. Just then Fin and Carisi came in hauling in Sanders, "Where do you want him Lieutenant?"

"Put him in one, Carisi," I mumbled as I followed Barba and Rollins to my office.

We watch as Fin and Carisi began the interrogation, "So, thank you for coming in Mr. Sanders."

He was sweating profusely, "Yea, whatever."

"So, Jace," Fin said, "you were here a couple of weeks ago handing these out in this same building, why?"

"W—Well, well, I just started my own business and you know, precincts, hospitals, clinics; those places are the ones with the most business," he explained.

Fin nodded, "Right, so can you tell me why after you came in here two days later we got a feed in here and all of our computers had a virus?"

Jace stammered.

"No? How about we had our guys check some phones in evidence and we found the same virus installed in them, care to explain?" Carisi intervened.

He remained silent.

Fin was getting upset, "You better start talking or it isn't looking good for you man."

"We have officers searching your house as we speak and guess what?" Carisi leaned to meet him at eye level, "We're going to find the router that you used to remotely drop the virus, so come on Jace, talk. We have the DA here, start talking."

Sanders fidgeted and wrung his hands. He looks up at the ceiling and bites his bottom lip. He looks down and raises his head to look at the two-way mirror, "I want a lawyer."


	19. Chapter 19

_**Chapter 19**_

"Alright Mr. Barba," Defense Attorney Donna Emmett said, "my client is willing to tell you everything you need to know with one condition."

Rafael looked at me and raised his brow, "I want to hear what he has to say first and then we'll discuss a deal."

Emmett looked between Barba and I and walked back inside the interview room, "Mr. Sanders," Barba began, "Counsel here tells me you have a lot to say," Barba sets his briefcase down on the metal table and I exit the interview room through the attached door to my office and Amanda took over for me.

"I don't know," Sanders said, "that depends if we have a deal or not."

Fin and Carisi are standing next to me in front of the two-way glass, "We'll charge you with fraud, maximum of ten years, minimum of seven."

"Stalking in the third and we have a deal," Emmett countered.

"How about," Barba began to stand and fix his button, "fraud with an added charge of kidnapping in the second _and_ we add the stalking charge as a bonus?" He was playing hardball, as usual but he was serious about these charges, "Christmas was two months ago. I am giving you an out Mr. Sanders, now, you tell me what I need to know or we are done here," Barba turned and began approaching my door.

"Wait!" Sanders yelled out, "F—Fine, I—we have a deal."

I breathed out and closed my eyes, sending my thanks up above, "My brother approached me back in September with a high paying job. He said that all I needed to do was hack some phones, plant some fake messages, and a big pay day would come in," Sanders begun.

"And, your brother is?" Amanda interjected.

He ignored the question and continued, "Look, all I know is that once I sent those messages, people disappeared and turned up dead. Then, a couple of weeks ago, he shows up with this crazy chick and she says she needs this specific precinct hacked in order to transmit a live feed from our mother's home. That's all I know."

"We need the names of your brother and this crazy chick," Rafa says to Sanders.

"No way man, this chick is crazy. Crazy, I am not risking my life," he says shaking his head.

Amanda stands, knocking out her chair, and slamming her hands on the table, "The names Sanders, NOW!"

"Detective," Emmett mumbles whilst Barba motions for her.

"I need the names or the deal is off, easy and simple," Barba counters matter-of-factly.

Sanders looks between Barba and Amanda, "He's my half brother; Jaxon Rogers and the crazy chick, all I have is her first name: Vienna."

"Call Romo," I grumbled, "Now!"

"Where is your mother's house, I need an address," Amanda pushed the notepad to his view.

He grabbed the pen and scribbled the address, "It's a dump in Throggmorton Ave."

Amanda and Barba stood, Barba gave a nod to Emmett, "I will see you in court, Donna."

Amanda and Barba exited to my office and I was visibly at ease. We finally could put an end to this. We made all of the necessary calls and though Barba advised for me to stay out of the way I needed to be there when they brought her out. I pleaded with Fin, Romo, and Barba to at least let me be there when they were apprehended. I knew the protocol and I would never risk a collar because of my emotions.

After gathering the team and assembling ESU and SWAT, we all left the precinct with our Kevlar clad to our bodies. We didn't know if they were armed, in what conditions we were to find anything once at the location. I was nervous, I was cold, I was anxious, and I was excited.

After almost two months of going everywhere blind, following bogus leads, hitting roadblock after roadblock, and dead end after dead end, I was finally able to breathe and think clearly. My heart thrummed against my chest cavity and noticing my nervousness, Fin extended his arm and gave my shoulder a squeeze. I could finally breathe.

* * *

 _ **Victoria's POV**_

They were all here; guess my judgment day was finally taking place. This is what must have happened to the other girls. The girls that ended up being collateral damage in my sister's sick and twisted plan. I was scared but I felt at peace, like every worry had left my body. Rogers had beaten and maimed me very early in the day so all of the pain that I was feeling, I was channeling into my last thoughts. I had a broken wrist and ulna, multiple fractured ribs, and a fractured cheekbone. I thought about Cassidy, all the good times that we had spent together and I thought about the things that I wouldn't be able to do. I thought about Noah and his sweet spirit, that sweet stare and that sweet smile that always seemed to put me in a great mood. I thought about Alexandra, my sweet, sweet Alexandra; the woman that I had loved nearly half of my existence on this Earth, the woman that had cried for me and that had missed me so, the woman that had just gotten me back just to be yanked right back from her grasp. And, finally, I thought about Olivia; the beautiful olive beauty that had saved me from myself and my own demons, the same demons that had subjected me and nearly killed me at the beginning, "Olivia," I whispered as I felt my hair being yanked into a powerful grip by Rogers.

"Oh, would you look at that," Vienna said mockingly, "the girls called for their mothers and you call for your lover. How pathetic," she grumbled as she slapped my fractured cheekbone.

I winced and fought back my tears, "I'm sick of your ga—"

"NYPD!"

Darkness. Everything was darkness.

* * *

 _ **Olivia's POV**_

A swarm of black and blue entered and exited the house. There's Rogers, cuffed and with a broken nose, sputtering all kinds of nonsense. There was Ford, her head hung low, not really putting up much of a fight. Vienna, she was stunningly beautiful, much like her sister. They bore quite the resemblances; the only differences were skin, eye, and hair color. Victoria had beautiful tanned skin, Vienna had olive skin; like mine. Victoria had grey eyes, Vienna had hazel ones; Victoria had raven-like hair, Vienna had honey-colored locks. Other than that, they were pretty similar, not identical twin similar but similar, "Come on, come on," I whispered and chanted.

"Easy there Liv," Fin coaxed.

"We need a bus!" Amanda yelled at the top of her lungs, "And, get CSU in here," she returned inside the house and emerged with Carisi and a limp body in his arms, "No!" I shouted as I ran across the street.

Carisi placed the body of a brutally beaten Victoria on a gurney, "No, no, no, no," I said as I pushed her hair out of her face, "I'm riding with her," I said as I reached the back of the ambulance, "Call Alex, tell her to meet me at the hospital with the kids, please," the doors of the ambulance shut and we were gone.

My face was stained with tears as I silently prayed for Victoria's safety, "Come on baby, wake up," I said as the paramedics connected lines on her arm and checked for a pulse.

"It's faint but steady," one of the EMTs said.

"Let's start her on oxygen and let's see that blood pressure," the woman EMT mentioned, "Adding medication to the fluids bag."

We were rushing through traffic, the blaring of the siren deafening but my ears were trained to the only sound that was keeping me sane, Victoria's heartbeat. It was the only sound that I was focused on. I kept touching her face, her hands, and her hair. It had been too long since I've felt her soft skin. Twenty minutes went by and we arrived at Mt. Sinai Hospital in Manhattan and the doors opened hastily and nurses made their way to the ambulance, snatching the gurney and ushering it inside.

"Prepare OR three," shouted the surgeon once inside the threshold.

We all ran alongside the gurney down the hall when one of the OR nurses stopped me, "You can't go on further miss, you have to wait here," she turned and continued to rush.

Just as I stopped, I crumbled to the ground. Everything hitting me at once, the reality of the situation too real for me right now; everything was just too much. I had been strong for Alex, strong for Noah, strong for Cassidy, and I had forgotten to lean on someone for them to be strong for me.

Lean arms enveloped me, "Come on, Liv," I turned and saw blue eyes clouded with unshed tears, "Let's wait over here," she said, slowly helping me up.

I nodded and stood, walking past people whose faces were unclear. Whose faces didn't matter to me because the only face that matter had been brutally beaten and battered. She didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve any of it. In the waiting room I felt small hands envelop my thigh, "Mommy," that deep brown stare had tears in it. I needed to pull it together, if not for myself, for them.

They needed me strong and present, "Yea baby," I said as a faint smile painted my face.

"Did you find Mama?" Cass asked.

"Yea baby, Sonny and Amanda found her. She's being checked by the doctors, ok?"

"You found Mama," Noah yelled at the top of his lungs.

I tittered softly, "Yes sweet boy, she's here."

Noah sat on my lap and rested his head against me. Cassidy sat with Alex, her front to Alex's front, clinging dearly to her neck and waist. She hadn't been able to return to school in fear that she wouldn't see Alex or Noah or me again. Every day, Alex went to Marymount and retrieved her classwork and homework and homeschooled Cassidy. She was not falling behind, Victoria would have my ass; I chuckled at the thought and shook my head. Catching Alex's attention she shot me a weird look and I just shook my head and kissed Noah's chocolaty locks.

Cass stirred on Alex's lap, "Lexie, I'm hungry," she said softly.

Alex looked at me, "Ok Cassidy, I'll go to the cafeteria. Do you want to stay here with Mommy and Noah?"

Cassidy's eyes watered, "I want to go with you, p—please," her lip quivered.

She didn't have a problem with me but whomever she was sitting with she wanted to stay with. It had been like that for the past month and a half. She didn't want to speak to any other doctor and had been shutting down slowly. Not even when Victoria was around, she was this dejected. She spoke to Alex and I and that was it. No one else seemed to get through to her, "Ok baby, let's go," Alex and Cassidy stood, "Liv, you want anything?"

"Coffee, please."

"I'll bring something for sleepy head too," Alex chuckled.

"I'll be back Mommy," Cassidy kissed my cheek sweetly. That was another one of the things she had picked up. She wouldn't go anywhere without saying that she'd be back and demonstrating some type of affection.

Alex left with our little redhead and I leaned back, resting my head against the cold wall behind me. I closed my eyes and started to drift off when the sudden yelling woke me from my attempted slumber, "I demand to see my daughter, now!" It was Mr. Reyes.

I stood with Noah clad to my body, "Mr. Reyes," I spoke as I approached him.

"Lieutenant," he said, turning and walking towards me, "How is she? Where is she? I am taking her out of this hospital and back to our home."

And just like that, everything was starting to go wrong, "Uh, you cannot do that Sir," I spoke with conviction.

"And, who are you to stop me?"

It was now or never. He never knew that I am his daughter's girlfriend and lover. The one my son called 'Mama', the one who's daughter called me 'Mommy', me. I was the one who was to tell him so, "I am your daughter's girlfriend, Mr. Reyes."

His stare grew and his nostrils flared, "Mommy," came the sweet voice of Cassidy.

"Yea baby," Mr. Reyes turned to see the redheaded girl who held Alex's hand.

"Alexandra," he said in a shocked manner.

"Mr. Reyes," Alex was shocked as well. My guess, he didn't know she knew.

"Mommy, we got Noah nuggets and Lexie has your coffee," she said with a smile.

"Is she, is she my daughter's daughter?" he asked as he eyed the redhead.

"Yes," Alex said, "This is Cassidy Jade, Victoria's daughter," she knelt besides Cassidy and played with her hair, "Cassidy, can you say hi to Mama's dad?"

She looked warily between Alex and myself, looking for approval. I nodded and smiled, "It's ok baby girl, he's not going to hurt you sweet pea. Right, Mr. Reyes?"

He looked at me with tears in his eyes and glanced back to Cassidy, "Uh, yes, yes," he cleared his throat, "I won't harm you."

Cassidy looked at me once more, "Hi," she said shyly, grabbing at Alex's hand.

He cleared his throat once more, "Hi there Cassidy," he took a step forward and Cassidy whimpered.

"Mommy," she yelled, letting go of Alex and running to my side.

I went into protective mode, "Alex, please take Noah," I quickly said as we exchanged Noah. I bended at the waist and picked up Cassidy, "It's ok sweet pea, it's ok," I said, rubbing soothing circles on her back. Her body shook uncontrollably, "Cass, baby, breathe. Follow Mommy's breathing. Come on sweet pea," I coaxed softly as I continued to rub her back. Her breathing eased and her body stopped shaking, "Good girl, that's it," I looked at Mr. Reyes, "Don't approach her, you're a stranger. She's had enough traumas in her lifetime. You let her come to you," I spat back in a bitter tone.

"Enough," Alex growled, "Enough. Mr. Reyes, if you cannot accept Olivia as Tori's lover than you must leave. You're upsetting my godchild and I will not have that."

He looked between us both and sighed, "I'm sorry, Olivia. I did not mean to upset my granddaughter. May I stay, please?"

I breathed out softly and nodded.

As I went to sit the doctor approached, "Family of Victoria Reyes," he beamed through the small waiting area.

"Us, that's us," I said as I stood quickly.

"And, you are?"

"Olivia Benson."

"Oh, you're Olivia," he said, "She had been mumbling that name until she was sedated. So, Ms. Reyes has to do a lot of heeling ma'am. She has a fractured ulna and wrist, multiple fractured ribs, various bruises and contusions as well as two concussions. The operation was for her fractured cheekbone; she has stitches in the inside of her mouth as well as on her temple. She'll heal successfully. Right now, I've placed her under a medically induced coma where she will remain asleep until she, and only she decides when to wake up. She has to heal from the inside and the medical coma will help."

"Did you a do a rape kit, doctor?" Alex asked frantically.

He nodded, "No fluids and no signs of trauma."

I breathed easily, "Can we see her?"

"She's currently in the ICU, no children under twelve are allowed back there. But, only two at a time please."

"Doctor, can we make an exception just for today. This is her daughter, they were kidnapped together… please?" I pleaded.

He searched my face and nodded.

I sighed, "Thank you!"

Cassidy and I bolted down the hallway to the elevators and rode up to the correct floor. We found the correct room and approached it slowly. There she lain, bruised and with a cast on her left arm. She had a breathing tube down her throat and was connected to multiple lines, "Mama," Cass said, stirring in my arms.

"Cass, Cass baby, easy. Mama needs to rest, ok? I'm going to put you down but you must be really, really careful."

The girl nodded and I placed her down, she ran to her mother's side and climbed carefully on the bed. She brought her small hand to her mother's face, her milky complexion mixing well with her mother's tanned one, "Mama," she whispered softly as she leaned to kiss her cheek.

"Cass baby, Mama's sleeping; maybe we should come back tomorrow and see if she's awake, ok?" I cooed softly.

She turned around to look at me, "Y—You promise?"

"I promise sweet girl, come on."

She climbed down and ran towards me. I cradled her against my chest and planted a kiss on her hair. This was long way to recovery but we had her back.


	20. Chapter 20

_**Chapter 20**_

One week. It had been one week since Victoria had been at the hospital. The doctors said she was stable. That she was responding well to the treatment. That all she needed to do was wake up now. She was on the lowest dosage of sedation possible for easy arousal. She was comfortable and well taken care of but I needed her out of that slumber. I needed out here with me, with our kids, in our home… I sat next to her bed and held her hand, "Victoria," I whispered, "please wake up. I need you, our kids need you; I can't do it without you baby. Cassidy, Cassidy hasn't been able to go to school or sleep throughout the night. Noah is so scared and confused baby… I—I don't know what to do," my tears were hot and steady by now. I was so tired of being strong, "A—Alex has been so great with the kids babe, s—she gets them ready in the morning and cooks for them. You know, Cassidy's favorite breakfast now is eggs benedict," I stood and leaned my forehead with hers, "Please Tori, please; come back to me. I—I love you," I kissed her forehead.

My tears falling against her skin, I sobbed and sobbed until gentle stirring pushed me away from her. I looked down and saw red-rimmed grey eyes staring at me, "Victoria?" she shifted and attempted to raise her hand that was restrained. I knelt and undid the restrains and grabbed her hand, "Baby, baby," her eyes shifted to me, "you can't speak because there's a breathing tube down your throat. I'll call the doctor to extubate but you have to keep calm ok?" She blinked once.

"Ok, I'm letting go of your hand Victoria and so help me, if you go for the tube…" she rolled her eyes and I chuckled in response.

I exited the room and went straight to her nurse, "She's awake. She wants to extubate."

Her nurse was quick to stand and page other nurses and the doctors. Her room was filled with medical personnel quickly and in a hurry. The extubation process took roughly twenty minutes and when they were done, they gradually commenced weaning her off from the sedation and other medications.

"L—Liv," she croaked.

I stood quickly and grabbed a cup of water with a straw, "Here, take it easy babe," I said softly.

She sipped her water slowly and I stared into her eyes, "What are you looking at Olivia?"

"They popped your eye vessel," I said as I caressed her cheek.

"Other than subconjunctival hemorrhage, what are my injuries, Lieutenant?" she said with a smirk on her face.

I tittered, "You have a fractured ulna and wrist, that's why you have the cast. You had minor corrective surgery for you cheekbone, they removed the stitches yesterday on your temple and the ones inside your mouth will dissolve in time. Uh, fractured ribs, two concussions, and multiple bruises but you'll live."

She chuckled and coughed, "Easy baby, easy."

"I want to see the kids, Liv. And, I want to see Alex," she said once she swallowed.

"I'll make the call," I said as I turned to walk.

"Hey," she stopped me, "I love you too Lieutenant," she smiled.

I ran to her bedside and captured her lips within mine, "Y—You heard me," I said, sniffling.

"Of course I heard you. Why do you think I want to see my kids and Alex?"

I laughed and shoved her playfully, "You could've woken up before I said all of that, you know?"

"And, miss what's been going on without me? No, fifty-two days was enough."

 _What? She counted?_ "Y—You counted?"

"Olivia, if I don't psychoanalyze myself from time to time, I would've lost it a long time ago. It's the only way I had a touch of reality. I can tell you what days I ate and what days I was beaten. I can tell you what days I felt like dying and the days where I was within my own solitude. I can tell you everything you want to know, Olivia."

Her eyes, her eyes told me everything I needed to know. I leaned in and kissed her once more, "You know," she breathed out, "you need to stop that. I only have one good hand but I'm sure I can make it work," she whispered against my lips.

"Really?" I laughed, "There would be none of _that_ until you're completely healed my love."

She groaned, "Liv," she stretched out the syllable in a whiny call, "Jesus, Olivia… you look too good. Please," she pouted.

"No," I said, chuckling, "None of that. Stop. I'm calling Alex."

She groaned once more, "Fine, be that way."

I tittered and sat, calling Alex.

It took less than thirty minutes for the hospital to move her to a private room on the recovery floor and roughly about twice that amount for Alex to show up with the kids. Beforehand, there was constant in and out of her room. Colleagues from the Bureau, Romo, and the squad came by to visit her. She thanked Carisi and Amanda for getting her out of the basement safely, she promised Fin a date for keeping me in check and dealing with my mood. All in all, she was great. I really couldn't read if she was being like that as a façade or if she really was that great. She knew she had to undergo a psychiatric evaluation in order to be released from the hospital and knowing her, she would fight it but eventually comply. Her priority was getting Cassidy back to where she was before this whole ordeal happened and making sure Noah was truly blooming.

Alex entered the room with the kids in front of her, her eyes red with tears, "Tori," she breathed out before briskly walking to climb the bed carefully. She pulled Victoria into an embrace and sobbed on her shoulder.

"Lex, it's ok. I'm ok," Victoria mumbled on Alex's shoulder.

Alex pulled apart and claimed Victoria's lips in a searing kiss. I watched intently, Alex just needed to convey her emotions and that was the way that she could do it. We, in the past couple of weeks, had kissed like that too. It bore no physical meaning, only emotions were poured, "I thought I lost you again," Alex said as she sat back and cupped Victoria's cheek.

"I told you, you are not getting rid of me that easily," Victoria said as she poked Alex's nose with her good hand.

Alex chuckled and wiped her tears, "Noah, do you want to talk to Mama?"

Noah climbed the bed and hugged her, "Hey sweet boy, I missed you so much. How are you feeling?"

"I was scared Mama, because you weren't home. Cassie had nightmares and she couldn't sleep without Mommy or Auntie Lex," Noah begun, "I had nightmares too."

 _He did?_ "You did?" she asked, "What were they about Noah?"

"That you left because Mommy had upset you," Noah's eyes had tears in them. He thought this was my fault?

"Oh baby," she said, leaning in and kissing his forehead, "I'll never leave because Mommy upset me. I might be mad for a little while but I'll always come back to you, ok?"

Noah nodded and snuggled to her side, "Come here fire engine," she beckoned Cassidy.

Cassidy ran and collapsed to her chest, causing Victoria to wince, "Easy Cass, easy. Mama's still hurt baby."

"I'm sorry Mama. I remembered everything and told 'Manda but they couldn't find you sooner. I'm sorry," she said as she clung to her mother's neck.

"Cass, sweet pea, this wasn't your fault. You did everything right. Now, why aren't you sleeping?"

"I'm scared that when I open my eyes, M—Mommy or L—Lexie won't be t—there," she heaved, "I—I—I don't want to lose them too," she hid her face in Victoria's neck.

"Hey, listen to me," she pulled her at arm's length, swiping her thumb under her eye, "tonight, I want you to sleep. And, when you wake up, Alex and Olivia will both be there for you both. They're not going anywhere Cassidy, I promise."

"B—but I want to stay with you," she began crying again.

"I know baby but this is the hospital. You don't want to get sick, now do you?"

Cassidy shook her head, "Can I come back tomorrow?"

"Yes you can, _after_ breakfast. How's Lily?" she asked.

"She's sad that I won't come back to school," Cassidy said, lowering her head.

"Huh," Victoria said, nodding her head, "I see. Why don't you go to school tomorrow and if you feel uncomfortable and want to come home you tell Principal Mullins to call either Mama or Alex. I'm sure Lily would be so happy to see you sweet pea," Victoria said with a smile.

Cassidy seemed to be thinking about it. She smiled coyly, "But, Mommy doesn't know how to do my hair," she laughed.

"Hey," I said, "I do your hair," I said pouting.

"Mommy, you just brush it and put a bow in," Cassidy laughed.

"Well, that's something," I mumbled under my breath.

"Why don't you tell Alex to braid it? She used to braid my hair when I was in school."

Cassidy opened her mouth and jumped to Alex's lap, "Can you Lexie? Please, please, please," she begged our favorite blonde.

Alex pretended to be in thought, "I don't know, are you going to sleep through the night and wake up early for school with Noah tomorrow?"

"I promise, I promise," the girl said.

Alex hummed, "I don't know, what do you think Noah?"

"I'll wake her up for school," said my boy with the biggest smile on his face.

"Alright, alright, I'll braid your hair," Alex said chuckling.

Cassidy kissed her cheek and snuggled in between her mother's leg.

We all continued to talk and even though the kids were the ones doing most of the talking, I watched Victoria. She was evaluating them in her own way. I was beyond ecstatic to have her back with us. To see Alex at such ease, to see Noah so careful and protective over Victoria, to see Cassidy so carefree and social… I had missed it; I had missed it too much. All four of them sat on the twin bed, careful not to disrupt the remaining IVs, and Victoria's injuries. I sat next to them, laughing, bantering, and reminding Victoria just how much I loved her. We were interrupted by a sudden knock on the glass door, it was Emilio; Victoria's father.

"Alright kiddos, it's time to say goodbye to Mama. She has to rest and we will be back tomorrow after dinner, ok?" I said.

The kids began fussing and Victoria chuckled and kissed them goodbye, "Listen to your mother monsters and be good for Alex, she will tell me who behaved. No desert for a month if you don't behave," she said, pointing at both of them.

"Yes Mama," the said in unison.

Alex stood and gathered everyone's belongings and leaned to capture Victoria's lips in a chaste kiss, "Get better Tori, I need you home to help with these boogers," she chuckled.

I walked over and leaned down, our mouths meeting together and her tongue swiping against my own. Granting her permission, she pushed her tongue and met mine in a slow dance. It burned, it healed, it felt good. We pushed apart for some much needed air and our foreheads met, "I love you baby, I love you so, so much," I purred to her, her eyes burning into mine.

"I love you too, Liv," she whispered against my mouth.

Emilio just stood there, watching the exchange between his daughter, Alex, and I. Not just I but Alexandra had kissed his daughter as well, "I'll be back tomorrow after work. Be good for the nurses babe."

"I will," she chuckled.

* * *

 **Victoria's POV**

"Hi papa," I said, shifting on my bed.

He just stared at me, he didn't move, he didn't say anything; he just stared. I looked at my hands that were interlaced with each other. I went to bite my lip and the cut there reminded me of the events and where I was. I winced at the sharp pain and brought my good hand to my lips, touching them and seeing if I had drawn blood. He rushed to my side, "Are you ok?"

I nodded, "Yes," I said, looking up at him.

His eyes had unshed tears, "I don't see you in sixteen years and when I do is back where I left you, in a hospital bed, fending for your life," he covered his face with his hands.

"Papa, Papa," I said, bringing his hand with mine, "this isn't your fault. There is something _seriously_ wrong with Vienna, Papa. This is on her, only her."

"And, I guess you're going to say it's on me too, huh?"

I look up to see my mother, a woman I hadn't seen or heard about since the night before my birthday, "Mother," I breathed out.

"Vivian, I thought I told you to wait for me to come get you," my father said as he stood.

"No, no, it's ok Papa," I mumbled, "W—Why would you think that, Mother?"

She shook her head, "I encouraged her. I filled her head with all these things because she was the one that showed promise to the Reyes name," she walked towards me and sat on the bed, "I knew you were into women by the age of ten, Victoria. I'm your mother, I notice things, like the way you clung and constantly stared at Alexandra. She was fifteen and incredibly beautiful, don't think I didn't notice it."

My eyes searched between my father and mother's face, "Don't look at your father, dear. He knew too, he _knows_ too. He just has a harder time with it, that's all. But, don't think for a second that we love you any less because of your sexual preferences," she scooted closer, "I want to apologize for not noticing sooner, for not loving you the way you deserved, for letting your sister get away with way too much… I'm sorry, perdóname Victoria," she was crying.

My mother had apologized to me. For sixteen years I thought that she just hated the thought of me. She could never stand to look at me longer than intended and I never knew why, "Mother," I breathed out, "there's nothing to forgive," I smiled, "I have a daughter now," I said smirking.

"Your father told me, a redhead?" she raised her brows.

"She's adopted Mother, she's seven. And, I have a son too, he's five."

"I saw them as I came in, they're beautiful. And, I saw Alexandra accompanied by whom I guess is Olivia?" she smirked.

I nodded and felt my cheeks grow red. I put my head down and fiddled with my thumbs, "Don't put your head down Victoria, she's beautiful," she smiled and kissed my forehead.

" _Attention to our visitors, visiting hours are now over. Any guests that remain must have a guest tag on display. You can pick them on the ground level by the cashier's desk. Visiting hours will resume tomorrow morning at eight,_ " came the announcement over the intercom.

My parents bid their goodbye and left. It had been a good day but I was tired. I lie back and closed my eyes. It wasn't too long before I fell into slumber.

* * *

 **Two months later**

Two months of therapy, two months of healing, two months of being cooped up in my home with Alex taking half days to help with the stuff around the duplex. There had been a lot of lawyers and a lot of paperwork with the FBI. I had to call the school and change Cassidy's contact information, I had to call Noah's school and change the names of the pick-up list, and I called the doctors as well. My arm was out of the cast but I wore a brace for comfort and support. My ribs had heeled and the stitches in my mouth had dissolved. My eye hemorrhage was slowly dissipating since it did covered my entire eye at one point and tonight, tonight we were leaving the kids with my parents for the first time and we were both nervous beyond repair.

It was the Policeman's Ball, something that happened bi-yearly to raise funds. Every one was invited, the DA's Office, every cop that could spare the night, as well as the suits from the Brass and all investors including the Reyes' and Cabot's. The invitation had been extended to me as a possible donor and investor but I had Olivia's invitation as well. Didn't matter what, I _had_ to go. Especially now that the entire world knew that I hadn't died sixteen years ago, that I was very much alive, and that recently, my sister had attempted on my life for the second time. It was bound to be a circus but nothing was to happen, I was to be surrounded by ridiculous amounts of police personnel. Alex had agreed to pick me up to go and get ready at her place just to shock Olivia later in the night. Alex, just like her family, had been invited as possible investors and donors of the night but she was also to be there as representation from the DA's Office.

I was beyond nervous. It would be the first time in two months that I was out of my duplex for something other than grocery shopping and picking up the kids with Alex. Olivia and Alex still didn't trust me to drive on my own and I didn't own a car either way. My father had insisted on having a car set up for me and have Cassidy moved to Brearly and Noah to The Calhoun School. The Jacobi's were old family friends and of course my father wanted nothing but the best for his grandchildren. I had insisted that that was a conversation that I needed to have with Olivia and that Cassidy was to stay at Marymount since she had established her own there. I had been stalling on the conversation with Olivia but Alex knew about the topic.

"So," she begun, "have you talked to Liv about moving Noah to Calhoun?"

"No, I have not. I don't even know how to bring it up, Lex," I said as I shifted in my seat, "What am I supposed to say, 'Hey Liv, my father wants to pay for education indefinitely for Noah at Calhoun, let's move him'?"

She chuckled and nodded, "Yes, something like that Tori."

"You're incorrigible Counselor," I tittered and shook my head, "That's her son, Alex. Yea, I make some decisions when it comes to his wellbeing but ultimately, he's hers."

"Stop, just stop, ok? He calls you Mama for Christ's sake. Talk… to… her, she'll understand. She'll listen, baby."

I cocked my brow and looked at her, "Baby?" I scoffed and giggled at the horrified look on her face, "Relax Lex, I'm just teasing."

She relaxed and eased into her garage parking spot. We went upstairs and I hauled my garment bag and Alex had my box of shoes, "No peaking Alexandra, I know how you are. I remember how you are," I gave her a look over my shoulder, "Element of surprise Lex."

She rolled her eyes and walked faster, past me and into the service elevator. I giggled at the child-like behavior displayed by the blonde. We only had a couple of hours before we were to be picked up by our car and we both had to shower, wash and do our hair, and all-in-all get ready for this night, "Shower with me?" she offered.

"Sure," I smiled, "I need help washing my hair. I think I have to cut it soon too," I said as I moved closer to the blonde.

"Your hair is your signature Tori, don't cut it _all_."

"I know, I know, but enough for me to handle it. I have two kids now, Lex," I smiled at the thought, "Come on, let's shower."

I pulled her into the bathroom where we disrobed and entered the shower. Alex set the water to her liking and helped me wash my hair whilst I lathered our bodies with soap. It felt good to have someone to take care of you. Someone whom you love and loves you back, unconditionally; no holds barred. Olivia and I were great, I barely saw any of her but I understood her job. It was something I had signed up for. Noah and her spent most of their time at the duplex anyways, scared to leave me alone. We still hadn't been intimate due to my injuries but that didn't mean I didn't try. God, I wanted that woman.

I wanted her more than the first day I lain my eyes on her. I don't know what it was about her, maybe it was those legs and those full thighs; or maybe it was her hips or the curve of her bottom; possibly the swell of her full breasts or her strong back; perhaps it was those lips or the smile that hid underneath it; no, I know what it was, those eyes, the deep pools of chocolate mixed with amber, depending on how and when you looked at her. If she were upset or generally angry about something, they would be dark but if you'd see her smile or around the kids or just before her body gave into pleasure, they were fiery amber that could burn and move mountains in a sweep. Olivia was a beauty and I couldn't keep my hands off of her. Alex cleared her throat, "What has you smiling like a fool?"

"Thinking of Olivia," I said with a smile, turning her around for her to be under the spray.

"Is that so?" she asked.

I nodded and hugged her, "Thank you Alex," I mentioned, placing a kiss to the hollow of her shoulder, "For everything."

She wrapped her arms around me and she kissed my temple, "You don't have to thank me Victoria. I love you, with all my heart and would do anything for you."

I sighed and felt the water turned cold, "I think is time to get out Lex."

She nodded and we were out of the bathroom. We each parted ways and decided to keep it a secret what we were to wear for the night. I held the blow dryer with my right hand and the brush with the left one since it was my recently injured one. I was going for Marseille wave hairstyle, something that I'd done a few times before. I wand my hair and brushed it to create that wave that I was looking for. I did my makeup lightly; I didn't want the paint on my face to take away from the ensemble I had chosen to wear today. I stepped into my gold strappy sandal heels and then inside my dress. I placed a thin gold cuff on my right wrist and stepped outside the room. Just as I did so, I caught Alex's stare. She looked beautifully stunning in her evergreen gown, it had a romantic fold-over collar that topped the off-the-shoulder neckline and draped seductively around her arms. The form-fitting dress followed her figure closely through the hips and clung to every dip of her beautiful body. The jersey material of the gown held its form and made it look fresh even after her movement.

I turned around and asked to zip my gown. I was wearing a navy gown with modern details with a classic elegance merged together, it had thin shoulder-hugging straps that secured the high-neck sleeveless bodice, it had bold side cut outs above the natural waist that added an alluring feeling to the dress, and the flowing floor-length skirt featured a side thigh-high slit and a romantic train, "You look beautiful, Victoria," Alex breathed as she ran her fingers over my shoulders.

"So do you, Alexandra," I said turning and kissing her cheek, "Let's go or we'll be late and neither your parents or mine will let us hear the end of it," I said as I bit my lip, stifling my laughter.

She mouthed the word 'right' and we were on our way to the outside.


	21. Chapter 21

_**Chapter 21**_

(Olivia's POV)

The squad and I arrived relatively early to this year's venue the Manhattan Penthouse on Fifth Avenue. It was beautifully decorated and every cop that could spare a free moment was there. There were all the members of the Brass, the Chief of Detectives, Police Commissioner, politicians, socialites, and members of the DA's Office. I had already ran into the Cabot's whom asked eagerly for their daughter and I was sad to announce that I had no idea where she was. The squad and I were dressed in our dress blues, as were every other officer here tonight. Victoria had asked to arrive with Alex and that she was to meet me here. I was nervous; my heart had not stopped thrumming in my cavity since I'd arrive. Tonight was the night where I asked Victoria to be my wife. Her parents knew, Alex knew, the squad knew, and I had their full support.

We were mingling and chatting it up with some of the members of the one-eight, the two-two, and the two-six when I felt everyone surrounding me grow quiet. I closed my mouth and looked to the direction that everyone was looking at and saw two women, accompanied by each other, one clad with a beautiful evergreen dress and the other with a midnight blue dress. Wait, I recognized those women: Alex and Victoria. Charles Cabot approached his daughter and kissed her cheek slightly and did the same for Victoria whilst I moved through the crowd in an attempt to reach them. Emilio Reyes was next, kissing his daughter twice on each cheek and proceeding to do the same with Alex. I see Alex's gaze roam the crowd and a smile graces her features. She leans to whisper something into Victoria's ear and that's when I see them, those scorching grey eyes. She smiles her pouty smile and stands straight.

I take too long to get to her side as men and women are approaching the pair, "May I have this dance Ms. Reyes," a socialite I don't recognize asks Victoria just as I arrive.

"Actually, I have promised my evening to someone. Thank you though," she smiles at the fellow.

"Why promise your evening to someone and then arrive by yourself?" He was pushing it.

"I didn't arrive by myself, I arrived with Alexandra Cabot," she mentions matter-of-factly.

"Who has already left you for another skirt," I glanced over to where Alex was dancing slowly with Casey, those two knew how to get in trouble always.

"I hope whomever it is, is worth it," he mumbles before I interrupt him, stepping to his side.

"Oh, I believe she finds it worth it, don't you baby?" I say as I loop my arm around her back and pull her closer to me.

"I do, Lieutenant," she purrs before claiming my lips, "Dance with me?" she whispers against my chin.

I nod and feel her pull me to the dance floor. We flush our bodies together and follow the sweet melodies the live band is offering. I catch wind of the squad, her parents, the Cabots, and Alex as I maneuver the body clad to mine. She's whispering sweet nothings into my ear and uttering her love for me, complimenting me on my dress blues, and stealing kisses here and there. I get a nod from Alex and she disappears towards the band, "You know you look beautiful tonight?" I say as I stare into her eyes.

"Tonight only, Olivia?" she titters.

I give her a quick peck, "Tonight and every night. You always look beautiful to me," I muse.

"Even when I had a complete red eye and looked like utter shit?"

"Even then, you couldn't have looked more beautiful baby," I lean to rest my forehead against hers.

Just then, the melody changes to something slightly upbeat and as I go to twirl her, I purposefully knock her clutch out of her hands, "Shit, sorry babe, I'll get it for you," I utter quickly as I go to kneel in front of her, quickly fetching the ring box from one of the pockets of my jacket.

She tucks her hair behind her ear and chances a glance to the ground where she captures my eyes and the navy velvet box in my hands. She brings her hands to her chest and her mouth drops, "Liv," she whispers, her eyes brimming with unshed tears.

"I am here before you as a woman with no reservations, choosing to spend the rest of my life with a woman whom I have the utmost respect and love for. I long to grow with you in mind and in spirit, to live together all the day of our lives. Will you, Victoria Thalia Paige Reyes, make me, Olivia Margaret Benson the most happiest woman alive and marry me?" as I finished, I opened the velvet box and revealed a single two carat oval diamond held by four prongs ring with a rose gold band.

A tear escaped her eyes and she nodded. She pulled me up and captured my lips in a slow, searing kiss, "You have already made me the luckiest woman alive by loving me at my worst and seemingly at my best, Liv. Of course I'll marry you," she snaked her arms around my neck and pulled me in for a deeper kiss.

I could hear the crowd surrounding us cheer, clap, and whistle. I smile into our kiss and pulled her closer to me by her waist, pulling back and placing two chaste kisses on her lips before slipping the ring on her finger. She looked at it and smiled, "I love you Olivia, with all my heart," she said, bringing her lips to mine one more time.

In a matter of seconds, our friends and family were surrounding us and giving us their congratulations. Our brief moment of privacy lasted only but a few seconds. We parted with a kiss and promised to reconvene in three hours whilst we mingled and socialized in the event. I kept glancing everywhere just to see if I could catch her eyes once more, sometimes I did and others I didn't. I received congratulations from the Chief of Detectives and a rather long speech from my future father-in-law. All in all, it was an amazing night that was soon coming to an end.

"Lieutenant," I hear from behind me.

I turn and see, "Chief Dodds, nice to see you here."

"And you," he says, extending an arm, which I take, "You're looking rather ravishing in your dress blues."

"Oh," I look down at my shoes and shrug, "thanks!"

"Congratulations on the engagement, by the way. You really hit the jackpot with that one," he says wiggling his eyebrows.

I am taken aback by his comment, "What do you mean?"

"Exactly as I said, Olivia. I'm sure you knew how much money the Reyes' have," he leans in and whispers.

I am confounded at what he is insinuating that I can't even formulate the correct words, "Sure she knew," a voice I immediately recognize as Victoria's comes blaring through.

She wraps her arm around my waist and leans to capture my lips within hers, " _AFTER_ we had been together for almost four months. She only knew me as Mariel Marti, she didn't know me as Victoria Reyes, Chief but I guess you knew that as well. See, when it comes to women," she said, releasing my body and stepping closer to Dodds, "you can tell in seconds whether or not they're with you for the money and the social status but with men," she circled behind him and stopped behind his ear, "you have to work a little harder to figure them out because they will lie to get to what they want. That's why you all," she said, making her way around to his line of vision, "make great salesmen and politicians," she finished slapping a hand against his shoulder and smiling.

I snickered and stifled a laugh, "Contrary to what you may think _Chief_ , Olivia is not with me for my family money. She's with me because she loves the _real_ me."

"That is true," I said, pulling her closer to my body and pressing my lips to hers, "Let's go," I whispered against her lips, as I leaned and caught her mouth within mine once more; the moan that pushed through me giving her enough reason to be home and underneath the covers with me.

I could tell she was swimming in her own arousal, "Yea," she said breathily, "let me find Alex."

"Ok baby," I said as I brushed my lips against hers.

Chief Dodds had the most painful face I've ever seen in a man. I chuckled to myself, "It was nice seeing you Chief," and with that I sauntered off, following where Victoria had left.

* * *

Our hands searched each other's body. We were too eager to have our way with the other. It had been far too long and the need grew stronger by the second. The way my arousal was pooling in my nether region burned and grew like wildfire. I needed her flushed against me; I needed to see her, to touch her, to feel her, to _taste_ her… She pushed me on the bed, ridding my body of the remaining clothes, which in reality were only my bra and underwear. I hissed at the sudden contact of her fingertips on my bare skin. Her touch always burned me to my core, it always left aftershock of sensation everywhere she lain a digit. A movement so tender and loving that it shook me to soul, "Please," I begged, "Please, Tori, plea—"

Her mouth against my sex silenced my pleas; she always knew how to make me submit, how to make me shudder, and break. Her tongue probed my insides, exploring known territory for the first time in forever. She lingered everywhere and I could feel her eagerness. It was as if she had forgotten how it felt to be within my legs and she was relishing the moment, living in it in fear she might be dreaming, and I was paying the sweet, sweet price. Her tongue lapped at my insides and my hips met her every stroke, my hands disappearing in long raven tresses, and my moans resonating within our space. Her teeth grazed the little button at the juncture of my sex and the sudden intake of air my body took snapped her eyes open and they settled on my own.

I could feel her smiling against my flesh; her eyes were clouded with desire, "Fuck… me…" I mumbled to the room as her eyes bore into my chest and the guttural moan she emitted to those words nearly had me coming undone. She growled and pushed two fingers inside my body, my back arching and my teeth digging into my bottom lip. She held onto my nub and shook her head, her teeth grazing gently the bundle of nerves giving me shock after shock of pleasure. My legs buckled against her skin, her fingers pumping feverishly inside of me, and when she curled her finger to touch that foreign wall, my screams came soon after. She continued to push her fingers gently, allowing me to ride the wave of my orgasm. My chest heaved and my vision finally cleared to see her hovering over my body. Her smug grin giving me all the strength I needed to take her.

She squealed as I pushed against her body and flipped our positions, my body atop hers. She giggled and trailed her hands up my sides, circling my breasts, and back down where she cupped my ass, her lip caught between her teeth, "I love the way your body feels, Liv," she whispered close to my face. I could only stare. Stare at her incredible beauty, her amazing eyes, her plump lips, and the way her body shone and contrasted against the coloring of her dress. I leaned in and bit her neck, right at the sweet spot, that spot that I knew for sure would make her mine. She arched her back into my body and dug her nails into the swell of bottom. I leaned back and brought her up with me, my hand snaking to the back and undoing her dress. Once pulled down, I was not prepared for what I saw next. She was completely naked underneath her gown, not one piece of fabric lain on her body underneath the bigger garment. I whimpered at the sight and her smug grin returned. I pushed on her torso and dove in her lips, searching, trailing, tasting, exploring, lingering in her mouth as my hand wandered to between her legs. First I felt her curly patch and then her nub followed by her wetness.

I groaned and in a quick movement she was left breathless as my head rested between her shapely thighs. Her scent engulfed me and the taste of her grounded me. Her savory nectar drove me crazy, "God, Liv," she pleaded as her body rose and rode a wave of freshly elicited arousal. My tongue swirled over her nub, not really paying the attention she wanted and needed. I was not to cave until she begged. I teased her entrance, kissed and bit her labia until her breathing turned ragged, "P—please… Olivia," I hummed against her sex, "Oh… fuck me!" There. I pushed my fingers inside her and claimed her clitoris. The movement her pelvis made almost made me lose control of her so I pushed her thighs further back with my free hand and held her in place. I knew how her orgasms were, she lost control and if I wasn't careful, she could seriously exacerbate her injuries. "Liv," she moaned loudly and I knew she was close to her end. I inserted another finger and curled all three forward and with two quick and pressurized swipes all her nectar seeped into me. I lapped and lapped and lapped until I no longer could feel her shake, until her body lay limp atop our sheets.

I slowly removed my digits from her core and she shook slightly. I rose and positioned myself next to her, her body finding mine and our fingers lacing together; her left with my right.

"I love you Olivia Margaret Benson," she mumbled softly and kissed my jaw.

"I love you too Victoria Thalia Reyes," I replied, smiling and kissing her hair.

"No, Victoria Thalia _Benson_ ," she corrected, moving our hands in unison.

I chuckled and sighed, "Right, right, I did propose," I quipped.

"Like you forgot already," she chided playfully.

"I will never forget babe, never," I finished with a yawn and snuggling closer to the body atop mine.

She hummed and kissed my jaw once more, "You better not."


	22. Prologue

_**Chapter 22**_

PROLOGUE

 **Three years later**

"Kids, hurry up, we're going to be late for the play," I boomed through the apartment.

"We're coming Mama, I was helping Mommy with Hudson," said Cassidy as she emerged with one of our two-year-old twin boys.

"And, where is Hunter and Noah and your mother?" I said, as I bent to pick up Hudson.

"Those three Mama," she said shaking her head, "I swear, none of them physically came out of her but they are the ones that resemble her the most," she giggled at my horrified face.

"Cassidy Jade Reyes-Benson, what in the hell did you just say?"

"Oh, Mama," she chided playfully, "I'm ten now and thanks to an amazing shrink and support system, I am not the shy, broken, little girl you once met," she smiled at me. After all this time, those deep brown eyes still had the same effect on me they did when I first met her.

I leaned and kissed her forehead, "You're right baby, and I am beyond proud of your progress and growth."

"As am I," added Olivia, rounding the corner of our kitchen in our new home in the Upper West Side.

Olivia appeared with Hunter sitting on her hip and Noah leading the way dressed in his ridiculous but equally cute ensemble for his leading role in 'Jack and the Beanstalk: The Musical'. After Olivia's and I wedding we had surprised each other with adoption papers for both Cassidy and Noah. I was officially the _other_ parent of Noah and Olivia was for Cassidy. All school and medical records had been changed with the proper documentation and the kids couldn't have been happier. I had finally spoken to Olivia about changing schools for Noah and she had accepted saying that I was much of a parent now over Noah as she was and that if I saw fit, I could change him.

Now, our eight-year-old ray of sunshine attended The Calhoun School and he was most definitely was thriving. Cassidy had stayed at Marymount since she was still a little apprehensive of male counterparts even though if introduced properly and slowly, she wouldn't mind. There were still times that she shied away but either Olivia or myself could always pull and bring her back. She was still a great and brilliant kid and as she grew older, her personality evolved just the same. A year into our marriage we decided to have children. I wanted to carry Olivia's child but she, in her apprehension and hard headedness fought tooth and nail saying that her genes were not ones that she wanted to pass along so we opted—reluctantly of myself—to find a donor who resembled Olivia to the 't'. We found donor 1939 whom couldn't resemble Olivia more because he wasn't a woman. He had all the qualities and values that we both wanted our children to have and I carried them safely into this world.

On a chilly Sunday morning of January, whilst Olivia was _still_ at work my water broke. I did not know I was carrying twins, as we decided we wanted it to be a complete and total surprise. I had tried and tried to call her, multiple times but to no avail. I ended up waking up Alex at five in the morning, urging her to come and pick us up, to rush us to the ER because I was in labor. Needless to say, Alex had Olivia's badge number memorized and used that as a way to rush the ambulance; she had gotten hold of one of the uniformed officers of the precinct and asked to relay the message to Olivia. Upon arrival to the hospital, it was too late to give me an epidural since I was already crowning with baby number one. Alex was the one in my room for the birth of Hunter Addison Bradley Reyes-Benson though Olivia arrived just in time to cut his umbilical cord. Roughly seven minutes later, I still felt the contractions and that's when the doctor told me that I was expecting twins and baby number two was ready to make his/her appearance into the world.

" _Liv, we're having twins," I cried happily as I handed Hunter to Alex._

 _Olivia's face was one of confusion and surprise, "Twins, a—as in two?"_

" _Yes Olivia," I growled as a contraction hit my body, "Two!"_

" _Oh my God, oh my God. W—We don't have two of everything. I—I have to get another c—crib," she rambled incoherently._

 _I screamed, frustrated with my wife and her incessant rambling and at the bone-breaking pain that coursed through my pelvis. As the doctor and nurses coaxed and coached me to push and breathe, there came life of baby number two. Its screams non-audible, "It's a beautiful baby… boy!" said the doctor, "So, what will the name be?"_

 _Olivia and I looked at each other, not exactly knowing what to do. We had decided Hunter Addison Bradley for a boy and Christiana Hudson Bailey for a girl but now we had two boys and no name for him._

" _Guys," Alex cooed softly, "what was the name for the little girl?"_

" _Christiana Hudson Bailey," Olivia said._

" _Alright, you have Hunter so why not Hudson_ _ **Christopher**_ _Bailey?" Alex said nonchalantly as she smiled at the both of us._

 _Tears coursed down my cheeks as I nodded to Olivia, "Yea?" she asked, leaning in and capturing my lips, "Hudson Christopher Bailey Reyes-Benson," Olivia mentioned to the doctor as she turned to cut his umbilical cord as well._

A light tap on my shoulder brought me back from the memory, "What has you smiling baby?"

I looked at Olivia, clad with Hunter whom was truly her mini-me; he had beautiful tanned skin, amber eyes, and chestnut locks, "Thinking about the birth of these two," I said as I bounced my mini-me, Hudson on my hip. Hudson had olive skin, grey eyes, and chestnut locks. It was the only thing that differentiated the twins, their skin color and eyes.

"You were mad at me for missing the birth of Hunter for three months," she chuckled as we made our way down in the elevator to our Suburban.

"Yes I was," I said, smiling at her, "And, much to my dismay, he's the one that most resembles you."

Cassidy giggled and shot me a knowing look, "Hey!" Olivia chided playfully, "I saw that," she said pointing at Cassidy.

"Mama thinks Hunter and I resemble you the most," Noah spoke, smiling big at me, "Cassidy is always reminding us that but Auntie Lexie taught me an argument for that."

"Oh great," Olivia said, "What did your Auntie Lexie say about that?"

"She told him to tell me that that's why Mama loves them more, because they _are_ Olivia," Cassidy glared at her brother.

"Jesus Alex," I said under my breath, "That is not true, I love the four of you equally and I would give every inch of my body for you all."

"What about me?" Olivia said.

I shrugged my shoulders, "You're alright," I tittered playfully.

Noah and Cassidy giggled as they stepped out of the elevator followed by us, "This is ridiculous," Olivia quips, "Hunter, buddy, who has your heart?"

Hunter trained his gaze between Olivia and I and pulled his brow deep in thought, "I wuff Mama. Mama kish booboo," the boy mumbled.

I winked at Olivia and smiled, "Hudson, baby, who has your heart?"

Hudson looked between Olivia and I, much like his brother had done and smiled, "Mama!" he yelled, hiding his face against my neck.

Olivia opened her mouth and I couldn't help but fall into a fit of laughter. We placed the twins in their car seats as the big kids sat and buckled on the last row. Olivia and I entered the big vehicle, "I can't believe it, my own children sold me out," she mused.

I shot a look at the seats in the back, occupied by our four children and gave them a smile, "I love you Mommy, you make the cheesiest grilled cheese sandwiches," Cassidy praised.

"I love you too Mommy, you taught me how to be respectful and how to love," Noah mentioned.

"I wuff Mommy too," Hunter began, "Mommy make me go high wike airpwane," he motioned with his little hands.

"I wuff Mommy," Hudson purred, "Mommy kish tummy an it no hurt," he said, patting at his stomach.

"And, I love Mommy because she gave me four amazing children and because she is the most caring, loveable, and most staggering human being I have ever met," I said, leaning over the central console and melding Olivia's lips with mine.

After three years of being married, she still made me weak in my knees. Now we had a ten-year-old, an eight-year-old, and two two-year-olds to call our own and I still wanted her the same or more than I did when we first met. All the ups and downs, all the fights and disagreements, all the restless and lonely nights I had, I wouldn't change them for anything else in the world. The big kids started to laugh and cheer at our over-affectionate kiss that they were no strangers too and I broke the kiss, leaning my forehead against hers, and smiling, placing two more quick chaste kisses on her lips.

"I love you Olivia Margaret Benson," I purred as I kissed her nose.

"I love you too Victoria Thalia Benson," she cooed as she kissed my nose, tears collecting in her eyes.

Life with Olivia Benson was never a dull one.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **AN:** I am currently working on Part 2 of this story. I know there were a serious of questions left unanswered but hopefully I'll be able to answer them in the next part. It'll be a series of one, two, and maybe three shots about the every day life of the Bensons.


	23. Chapter 23

**Author's Announcement:**

Just wanted to let you all know that the 'sequel' for these series has been published and _it's still in progress_.

Please go read, it's called 'Benson's Memoir'.


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